Nothing to be ashamed about (Gender Dysphoria)

Member Name: cinystar

Product:	Gender Dysphoria
Date:	01/11/01 (152 review reads)
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Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinions, and I want to share mine on a sexual matter relating to preferences.The reason I am writing this is because I have been through this personal experience and how it changed the way I felt about the subject.
How would you deal with finding out that your brother was gay, well I did and I want to share my story with you?

I have two brothers an older and younger one, as a child I was closet to the youngest, which is normal in most families. Infact we used to pick on (Graham) the eldest most of the time, as he seemed different in some way, he was small for his age, he had problems making friends and was always being bullied at school. I thought it was ok for me to tease him but didn’t like others doing it. I used to have to intervene in his fights at school. So in a way, I did care about him and tried to protect him. My younger brother and I used to call him a proof, I don’t know why, we just did. Graham was very intelligent and loved schoolwork, he was good at all subjects, apart from sport. When he went to senior school, the bullying continued, as he just didn’t fit in with the crowd. He was not into fashion at all and didn’t seem to be interested in girls. I didn’t think any thing at the time about it. He stayed on at school and was still there went I left school, I did leave early because of becoming pregnant though. I left home at 16 years old and so I was not around to see him that much.


I was always asking him if he had found a girlfriend yet and he would say no, not interested, as there was plenty of time. Then while I was expecting my second child at 19 years old, by younger brother came around one evening to tell me that Graham was in trouble and had been arrested. I thought he was mucking around, but I could then see by his face that he was not joking. I can’t go into details,but this is how I found out that he was gay. I cried at first, I had all
sorts of emotions going around in my head. How could my brother be gay? He does not walk or talk like a gay person; this was a very foolish thought. I felt ashamed and wanted to keep it a secret. If my friends found out they wouldn’t want any more to do with me. How could he like men, it’s just not normal. Why is he like it? So many questions and no answers. My mum accepted it very well but my Dad went absolutely mad, he told my brother that as he had never been with a girl, he couldn’t possible know if he was truly gay. My younger brother resented him and carried on calling him names and even hitting out at him. He was disgusted and didn’t want anything to do with him. Our parents called a family meeting and said that this serect must stay in the family, as they didn’t want relatives or neighbors knowing.


I thought it was time to talk to my brother about it, to try and understand. He told me that he had known since he was about 14 years old. He found himself attracted to other boys, he said he was scared of telling anyone, but wished he had a lot sooner. He said that it was a great relief to get it out in the open. He told me how he went to gay bars to find a partner, and how hard it was going in on his own, as he didn’t have any friends. I began to feel sorry for him and realized how hard it must have been for him. He said that it is something in his genes and believed he was born gay, and not something that just happened. He said he did not find women attractive in any way. After our chat I realized that he was happy with the way he was and that was all that mattered. Since knowing it has actually made me closer to him than I had ever been before, I find that I can talk to him, he has a good job, a lovely personality, and he is a really good listener.


As the years have passed I’m not ashamed to tell people that I have a gay brother, as I don’t care what any body thinks. It does not eff
ect me as a person and in fact I actually now have got two gay friends and they are really nice guys. You can talk to them easier than your girl mates, about anything, they are very honest and you some how feel more comfortable around them. My brother now has been in a relationship for ten years and is very happy. His partner is a lovely bloke and I am just pleased that my brother has found happiness at last.Everybody deserves to be loved,who ever they are, and I only wish that more people tried to understand and accept it as I have.Deep down my brother is no different to anyone else. He is a person, who has feelings just like you and me and should not be discriminated from our society.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

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