| Product: |
General |
| Date: |
25/10/06 (772 review reads) |
| Rating: |
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Advantages: Aids our general wellbeing.
Disadvantages: Can be off putting for some.
Flatulence is perhaps one of those subjects that effects us all but is never really a subject you often hear spoken about and in truth is considered taboo. Often known as a ‘Fart’ and possibly in your younger days a ‘pop-off’, flatulence comes in many forms and guises, has a tendency to creep up on you making itself known at an inopportune moment and can be the source of both embarrassment and humour.
Now why does a fart smell, well obviously one reason would be for the benefit of the deaf but those who like a more scientific approach to this question would say the potency is dependant upon the type of food or drink consumed by the host and the enzymes and bacteria present in the digestive system. Whatever answer you prefer there is no getting away from the fact that the smell can be considered offensive and can clear a room in a few seconds, leaving for some its host embarrassed or for others a feeling of empowerment.
Did you know for a subject that is somewhat poo poo’d there have been several publications on flatulence such as Who cut the cheese: A Cultural History of the Fart by Jim Dawson, Fart Proudly by Benjamin Franklin and even a children’s book by Shinta Cho entitled The Gas we Pass.
Before I go on, some must be thinking what the hell is he writing this for, well why not, last Friday whilst enjoying a few drinks with friends, my wife’s best friend unintentionally ‘dropped one’ so to speak, her embarrassment was a source of amusement for the rest of the evening and I’m sure a few more weeks to come yet, so why not write about it. I will make sure she receives a copy of this in her inbox and will forward any comments that are suitably left, after all if it had not been for her ‘thunderous’ moment this piece would never have seen the light of day.
If I reminisce back to my school days we had a whole science lesson devoted to flatulence, we were captivated and the teacher made a point of saying he had never had students participate as much in one lesson before. By participate I mean give opinion as opposed to actually demonstrating the process, although many did the hand under the armpit chicken impression.
Some people suffer from flatulence more than others but the fact of the matter is, we all do else we would run the risk of illness through the build up of gases and pressures within our intestines. Also it may or may not surprise you to know that even after death you parting gift to this world can be a small combustion of wind between the legs as gases mutate and leave our body.
Nerves can play a big part in the production of wind and I myself have experienced this whilst giving a presentation to over 200 delegates. Although when the need arises I can make a public address I honestly can say I don’t relish the prospect and in the early days of seminar speaking it was not uncommon for my cheeks to be rattling ten to the dozen, to the point that self-levitation was a distinct possibility. But why should being nervous increase flatulence? Well if you think about when you are nervous, your heart rate quickens, as does your intake of air as you breath faster. Its this air or at least the oxygen element of it, that when combined with other gases produced due to our stomach acids that devour the food we eat, coupled with the bacteria that exist within us, produce the common fart as our body naturally expels unwanted waste products. Thus the more intake of air the higher the chance of a ‘rumble’.
Now I’ve started this I really cant avoid the question, who suffers from flatulence more Men or Women? Well this caused quite some debate in the classroom if I recall and a quick search on the net did not really give any evidence to decide which sex suffers most. Its probably fair to say that men are more comfortable in ‘dropping a couple’ than women are, so by that token you will hear more men fart than women. There is some evidence to say that women express a more pungent smell than men but on the other hand the male fart has more volume (greater amounts of gas), so the two counter each other out. My opinion is an individuals diet is the most contributing factor.
It has long been established that certain foods and drink such as beans, cauliflower, eggs and beer to name just a few will increase flatulence. Many will associate beans with farting and that always reminds me of the rhyme, beans beans are good for the heart, the more you eat the more you fart. As well as being nutritious beans have a high content of sugar that our digestive system struggles to consume, the result is the natural bacteria within us feast on the sugars creating gas.
Squeezing one out at the wrong time is embarrassing and we humans have certainly learnt the art of self-control but what is worth remembering is whilst you fight to keep this gas in for fear of unwanted criticism, all you are doing is adding to the inevitable event. Pressure will build as will the nitrogen content of the gas; this will undoubtedly affect the ability of self-control and increase the chance of a more pungent smell being omitted.
Self-control of flatulence is very evident in the human courtship, hands up who farts on the first date… not many I would think but as time goes by your confidence grows, you start to understand your partners habits and thoughts, you can slip a few in and its just laughed away. By the time you are married, many throw caution to the wind and ‘drop one’ as soon as the urge is felt, some mornings whilst in the bathroom having a shave I could be mistaken for hearing Tchaikovsky’s 1812 overture reverberating around the kitchen.
It has been said that many of us ‘pop-off’ during sleep as the body relaxes and that you can be prone to ‘sleep popping’ if you have exercised the art of self-control throughout the day. If anyone is wondering what that means, well to put it bluntly you’ve ‘corked’ the gas all day. Now if you fall into this category you may well not realise that you are cutting cheese as you sleep but please bear this in mind and spare a thought for your partner lying next to you. Try and squeeze a couple out in the bathroom before bed, that way the duvet has less chance resembling an incoming tide lapping the shores whilst you sleep.
What ever your thoughts of the fart, its here to stay, yes you can limit its existence but eradicate it you cannot. So put it to good use when those blighters turn up on Halloween. If you ‘drop one’ they may well pop off quickly or leave with the impression their costumes, really were scary.
I would like to thank S… no I won’t say her name, for provoking my thoughts and for such an enjoyable Friday evening.
Thanks for reading.
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