The Person Who Is I! LOL (General)

Member Name: danielleg1989

Product:	General
Date:	01/11/09 (71 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Not Many This Year LOL

Disadvantages: Hope Next Year Is Better

Ok i am not sure were to start but i enjoyed reading others about me review and i plan on being here a long while. So i think its about time that i write one of these. Ok so i will start at the beginning lol

The Beginning

When i was younger me, my two brothers and sister were all given injections. The doctor who gave us them apparently had "a criteria to meet" and if he got so many people vaccines, he got free holidays. My mum seen my two brothers react badly to them and she seen them end up with disability's because of it. She never wanted to get any of us them and she fought to try and stop it because she also has vaccine damage but the doctor in question had my mum backed into a corner and he was even quite mean. He was nothing like you would expect a doctor to be.

My mum said at one visit, he shouted and slammed his desk and then said "this is criminal."He told my mum to sue him to get to the bottom of things. I ended up getting the injection and having the reaction my mum expected. My sister was the only one in our family who escaped the effects of it. Well because of it "until" i was about five, i couldn't walk or talk and had to use a buggy and sign language.

They told my mum and dad that i would never walk or talk but with my parents support and determination from both them and me. I have managed to do just that and now the doctors call it a hidden disability. Which has also been named as mild cerbal palsy plus a spectrum off other things. Those things, i may never get to the bottom of. I can see why they call it hidden though because physically no one can ever tell that i am disabled but it still effects me a lot. Just not in ways people can see.

My mum is always looking into things about her disability and trying to find answers but i usually take the ignorant approach and ignore mine as best i can because i think when you focus on something that it can become a lot more important than it really is. Writing this is the first time i have ever really spoken or thought much about it. It seems to make me very sensitive and a lot more emotional than most and i find it harder than some would to deal with certain things.

Sometimes if i am shopping and my legs and feet get really sore, i have to go out and sit in the car while my parents are still in the shop. Most days i do a lot of walking and i am ok but when it does start is is very painful. I also am very anxious and have panic attacks. These happen almost every time i go out. I sometimes feel so scared when i am out and about. I think something bad is going to happen but nothing ever does. I panic for nothing but at the time it doesn't feel like nothing and then when i return home i am left wondering why?

School

I was bullied a lot in school, right up until third year and this made it very hard to trust people. Especially when people i did trust let me down. I have found all of my "supposed friends" have dropped off one by one. Some were people who i cared about a lot, people who i thought were my friends and they turned out to be anything but and then others have been fake friends. Who talked about me behind my back and i let them go. I have seen some people cling to friends because they don't know were they would be without them and it seems they would rather have them. Than not have them,even if the friend is not a friend and treats them bad.

I wont do that I go by the saying "with friends like that who needs enemies" and i would rather be without them, than put up with crap. I do hope if anyone has a friend like that you wont hold onto them because they only cause you unnecessary annoyance and also when i did let them go its probably one of the best things i have ever done! My anxiety makes me not want to go out much and sometimes i prefer being at home with my family,watching tv and using dooyoo and ciao.

When i got to third year, i decided it was time to put the bullies in their place and i can proudly say i did! See i also have asthma and i was given steroids when i was younger, which my mum said kept me alive but of course the people in school didn't know that and so they bullied me for the weight that i had put on me at the time because of the steroids. I got to a point were i thought this is it, i have had enough and things will change!

I started exercising alot and i dont like exercise LOL but i was driven by determination. I lost all of the weight to become the healthy size that i am now and i am very happy with it. Prior to when i left lots of people were commenting on how different that i looked and guys started to notice me too. Even my teachers noticed and one of them said to me about how i was in such great shape. When she said it, she did in front of quite a lot of the people. I don't know whether she was aware but they were all people who had been mean to me. I remember the looks on their faces and they didn't take it well.

At one point a few girls in the year above started ganging up on me. This was when i started to really begin to love taking to do with how i look and making a effort and my sister was a hairdresser. So i always had new hair styles thanks to her. My mum and everyone else said they were just jealous but by that point. I had had enough and i moved schools. In my next school, i felt a lot happier at going and from the first day i arrived. Although there was two people who i would miss a lot, who both made the terrible school that i was in ( that i can only compare to as hell) "bearable" because they were my friends at the time and i cared a lot about them both.

In my new school the people were so friendly and i felt right at home. In this school i wasn't aware that it wouldn't last! At this point a lot of guys had took a liking to me and at the time, i still had not dated. A lot of people said i was the best looking girl in the school. My confidence had grew a lot. by now and i was doing a course in hair and beauty therapy and i loved it! I slowly began to realize that it was the people who bullied me (particularly the group of girls) with the problem and not me. I ended up going out with my first boyfriend there and had many offers from other guys but i didn't accept because i don't like to go out with someone "just for the sake of it."

With my first bf it was nothing serious and we broke up. It got to the point with the other guys, if i was in the room and the teacher left. They would sit in a group and some would say really perverse things about me and i am not the sort of person who finds that a compliment. I became so uncomfortable particularly because of one guy and even had some of them walk up behind me and grab my bum. It became way too much for me to take in and i quit going into school the last few months.

Looking back now i see those in the first school who did bully me and the only thing that i think is. Who did they think they were? Everyone is equal and at the end of the day nobody is perfect. So they had no right and i finally realized that it is no reflection on me. Instead it is a reflection on them and the bad hearted people they were. I see a lot of them now into "bad things" doing everything that could possibly wreck their lifes and i feel sorry for them because no matter how bad things were i never picked on or run people down.

It isnt in my nature. I was quiet,kind and they took advantage of it. If you thought i was " that type" and that's why the guys acted that way. I assure you i am not and i don't sleep around or dress slutty either. in fact i have only been in a proper relationship once and he turned out to be a selfish prick ,who had nothing but bad intentions. He was only in it for himself and It took me 3 and a half years in a on and off relationship to realize it because i thought i was in love and that he was mr right but actually he was mr very wrong.

After School And Relationships

This hasn't been so eventful due to my anxiety's. I do like to meet new people and just because i said that i don't cling to bad friends. That doesn't mean that i don't wish that i had people who were there. I went to st john's ambulance a short while but that was never going to last because i hate blood and injury's LOL I also went to a astronomy course but that didn't work out either. Since i am not out much, i don't get a chance to meet people and the only time that i have met men has been when i met my ex. I met him through my sister and the only other way i met guys was when some have approached me while iv been out shopping.

One looked at me like a love sick puppy and started following me all around a shop, only to walk up to me and say something very rude and felt my bum. As if that was not bad enough i went to tell him off and he was gone before i could. I then walked around the corner to the tills and he was standing with his wife/girlfriend. This really upset me because i cant believe someone could even do something so cold hearted. There has been a few other ones like him and that has also made me not want to go out much.

The irony is that one day i met the most decent guy that i have ever met and it happened when i was out shopping and i least expected it! Typical as my life is, even though we liked each other we couldn't go out because of where we are both from. I was happier with him in that one day. Than with anyone else and that even includes my longest relationship! I went to a bar a few times with my sis but i don't drink much and i hated it! I have been on quite a few dates but most said they were "not like" other guys. Then on our first date they got on like complete perverts. I wont go into how rude or weird some of the things they said were. Although it probably would be funny but when they realised nothing was going to happen, they didn't stick around long.

I am not into one night stands, so i am really put off men at the minute because although i know they are not all like that. I have met enough jerks to want a break for a while. The main reason is something that happened just days ago and it relates back to a old friend. He was one of the friends who was there for me in that awful school. I thought when i left that i would never see him again and when i did i was so glad because i thought finally! Something good has happened and that someone that i can really trust had came back into my life.

He is someone who i thought would never do anything to hurt me. First time he disappeared i was really hurt because even though we were going out. I thought he was a friend too, in fact he was the last one that i trusted. After months he returned and said he was in hospital, i believed him and took him back. Ordinarily i am a lot more suspicious but because i trusted him, i didn't question him and then he disappeared again and came back, this time telling me he had been stabbed! That time i was less than convinced but i cared so much i wanted to believe him however the other night he showed up and told me he was dyeing of cancer and i believed him because who would lie about something like that?

He said he would call down, if he was ok but he didn't call and my dad seen him since and said he looks ok to him. Now i look back and i think to the reactions of his brother because i was so shocked and upset and his brother was calm and making jokes and offering him advice. That is not a normal reaction of a family member, even if you weren't close to the person in question. You would cry or show some emotion. Now i am left wondering why someone who said they cared would do something so cruel and thoughtless and i have to accept that maybe he isnt the person i always thought he was. This has really knocked me back a bit and i just cant understand it at all! This is probably the worst thing i have had to deal with yet and i feel betrayed. I hope my next year is a lot better than this one has been.



My Future And More About Me.

I have always loved writing and i am so glad that i found ciao and dooyoo. I always wanted to do something in along these lines and i am thinking off doing a few courses to catch up on the things. Things that i should have got before i had to leave that school. When i had to leave, i was doing brilliantly in my work and was looking to the future and what grades that i would get. Now i have to consider doing everything again because my next school didn't allow and i didn't have time either to get the grades that i wanted.

I have a shih- tzu puppy named snuggles and i love her to bits. I love my family and i like going to the zoo. I absolutely love animals, in my mums house, we have three dogs, a turtle and two bearded dragons. We had a cat named sooty but he disappeared and we haven't seem him since. My mum always said we needed to let him out and i argued and said no because i knew what the area we live in is like. One of are previous cats was brought back to us in our neighbours arms in a really bad way and it died. Some evil person had attached a firework to it. I knew my cat would have something happen to it and i think i was right because he hasn't been back since. I love 80s music and i like kind,caring people. I don't like people who go out of thier way to be mean. I cant stand to see it!


And Finally

* I think its the right thing to do, to treat everyone the way we want treated our selves and i try to always do so.

* I think its a bad idea to be mean to others because no-one knows what the future holds and also because its well.... mean

* I think everyone should think how their actions will effect others.

* I believe people should let those that they care about know because they wont always be there.

Some Weird Things About Me

* I hate when men use the word "babe" because my experience with the ones who do has been less then good. I find the word creepy and impersonal and ingenuine.Maybe there are some exceptions though because this is just the ones i have encountered so far!

* I love 80s music and films and some people find that weird.

* I love foamy the squirrel and roger the alien from American dad!

* I like to spend time alone and sometimes if i am in a nice place especially somewhere overlooking the sea. I would sit there watching for hours even if it was raining.

* I hope aliens exist LOL

Summary: About me