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Heaven and Hell
Member Name: broxi3781
Date: 05/01/13, updated on 05/01/13 (64 review reads)
Advantages: Changing the way we see reality can change the reality see.
Disadvantages: Bad things will still happen - life is hard - but it can be good as well.
This is my 1,000th review! In this time I have made friends on Dooyoo, used the site to make the best consumer decisions, and racked up quite a few dooyoo miles, virtually all of which have gone to buy Birthday and Christmas gifts for my sons or books for them. So I want to begin this by saying thank you to everyone!
I wanted this review to be special - but couldn't find a good category to place it - so I have stolen the general category. I decided to write this after a good friend and fellow dooyoo member complimented me on seeing the best in people. I've been told this most of my life. My Mother used to ask me if I would ever learn and I would cheerfully reply "No - I don't want to". This was in reference to helping someone who didn't really need help - but better to help 100 who do not need help, then to turn your back on one who did. I told my Mother what the person had done was irrelevant - I did what I felt I was right at the time and would continue to do so. Shortly afterwards she bought me a pair of rose coloured glasses which I wore for many years and everyone who knew me said suited me perfectly. In fact I'd really fancy another pair.
But while it may look as if I am walking around with my head in the clouds - I am not blind. I see the horrible things going on every day as clearly as everyone else does. If I can help - I will. If not - I choose not to dwell on it. I imagine everyone has a sad story to tell, and my life has not always been filled with sunshine and light. If I were to tell my full story I doubt many would believe it - I have given into despair at one point in my life though - and things were pretty bleak - until I pulled myself up and became heavily involved in volunteer work - and eventually found happiness in making others happy - and then by complete surprise bordering on a miracle, I did what the doctors told me was not possible. I carried my oldest son to term , and although I lost the next, I also carried his brother. Now I have two beautiful sons who are the light of my life and no matter what else I may have or lack - I consider myself blessed by God to have been given such a wonderful gift. Horrible things have happened. No matter what you do in life - bad things will happen - we all suffer - but darkness does make the light brighter. I don't discuss terrible things and I choose not to think about them, I choose to turn away and see the good instead - this applies to people as well as to memories. Funny enough, with most people, if you can ignore the bad and only see the good - you find the good coming out more and more. Likewise - I remember all those I have lost, but I remember laughter and jokes, not funerals or sorrow - but enough about me.
What I really wanted to share is a story I heard when I was very young. It is very old story and not copyrighted so I feel it is OK to paraphrase it, although it appears all over the web - I do not want to cut and paste it into a review, but if it interests you - please look up the full version. The story was told by a man known as Rabbi Haim of Romishok. It is called the Allegory of the Spoons. In this story the teacher is given a view of hell. It looks like a lovely place actually, huge tables filled with all the most wonderful foods to eat - but tortured souls in this place are starving. Each persons elbows are bound with splints and while they can see and smell the wonderful foods, they can not reach a spoon to their mouths, so they starve. Heaven looks exactly the same as hell. the same tables, the same wonderful foods, the same bindings on the arms preventing people from feeding themselves. But in Heaven everyone is happy and well fed. The difference here is that each person lifts food from the table and feeds his neighbour. His neighbour then returns the favour. In this story Heaven and hell are what we make of them. I believe life is like this as well. We can choose to give in to suffering and despair - or we can choose to focus on the good things - and help each other where we can. We create our own heaven - or we drown in our own private hell.
Of course there are bad people, and most people will be hurt at some point, but if we spend our life thinking about that hurt, and expecting everyone else to hurt us - we never see the wonderful possibilities all around us. OK so maybe you are skint - wealth is relative. I am quite sure that anyone on this site would be wealthy by standards of many living in third world countries. We may be poor, but we have homes to live in food to eat - and if you are reading this review - you can afford the luxury of a computer or other Internet capable device. I'm sure many would love to trade places.
Perhaps you are lonely. If you have never experienced loneliness you are a very lucky soul. But there is always some way in which you can interact with others. Volunteer - help someone else - if you can not experience joy on your own just yet - experience the joy of making others happy. I imagine most of us want love in our lives - and I know many can feel that it is hopeless. Personally, love took me by surprise long after I had given up on looking for it. I've heard people say you can't find love if you are not rich, good looking etc... but it is rubbish. Most women put making them laugh as one of the most attractive features on a man - but so is kindness and confidence. Bitterness is a real turn off though - and I'm sure that applies to men as well as women. If you look for the best in everyone else - most of the time you will find something. I can't tell you how many children in our group were meant to be real trouble makers. I always expected the very best from them, and I think some appreciated someone expecting them to wonderful kids. They never let me down. And if you keep looking for the best in everyone you meet, in time, you'll find someone to look for the best in you. My husband may not be perfect - and I most certainly am not. But I will only see the best in him and he is pretty close to perfect in my eyes. Whether he feels the same - I can't say but we have had many happy years together.
If I sound like Pollyanna, I am not. As I said I won't discuss the bad things, I've seen my share of hell - but I will not acknowledge it. I let my rose coloured outlook filter out the nasty things. I prefer to do as those in the story have done. In all honesty - there was a time when I never expected happiness for myself - everything I have now is a gift, my husband , my children, even my wee dog - I have so much to be grateful for. But I also think if I had not made a decision to at least try to make others happy - I would not have found happiness myself.
If you have read this far, thank you. Perhaps this is just a rant, but it encompasses my philosophy on life.
Summary: Anyone fancy trying on my rose coloured glasses? The view is grand.