The Duke on Horseback and a Bunch of Master Debaters ~ Jillory's Lazy Debates (General)

Member Name: marandina

Product:	General
Date:	24/06/04 (38 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: No idea

Disadvantages: Not sure

Damn and stab me vitals, I really should be revising you know? I have an exam in the next few days and, what with the Euro Champeenship providing a big enough distraction already, here goes that darn Murphy woman again, interfering with me schedule (Shhhhhhh?.she beats me every night with a wet copy of The Economist but don?t tell anyone, will ya?)

Not that I can imagine anyone being interested in what I have to say. I mean, I?m always side-stepping all the various online forums here and there. Y?know, the ones that present the virtual lime pits in all the virtual talk shops..and you had to walk into mine. Erm?that line sounds familiar and I?ve gone off at a tangent already. Ho hum, if you reeeeeeally have naffin? better to do then, well, alrighty then??

● Do you believe in life after death?

In essence no but in a more metaphorical sense yes. Erm..what I mean is I believe that we are all made from the matter that was first spewed out after the initial Big Bang all those billions of years ago (Just last week in parts of Croydon). This is completely at odds with my good lady who is a fully-fledged spiritualist these days but, fortunately, she doesn?t try and impose her views on the likes of sceptical scum like me. I mean, I?m always poking fun at Most Haunted and stuff but she takes it in good spirits (Surely nobody believes that Super Scally ? Derek Acorah really gets possessed for Lordy?s sake!)

● Should smoking be banned in public places?

Recently brought back to the top of the agenda with the outright ban in Eire, smoking in public places is a sensitive issue. I have noticed more and more bars have notices asking patrons not to smoke in the immediate bar area to protect the rights of the bar staff. As an ex-smoker, for me the evidence
as to the harm re passive smoking is irrefutable and so I can?t see how anyone can justify smoking around other folks that object to inhaling poisonous gases. There?s also the ongoing debate around future mothers that smoke whilst pregnant. Shame on you ladies, think of your unborn child!

● Is capital punishment wrong?

Needless to say, this argument ends up sub-divided into capital punishment for adults, for children, for child murderers and those that kill police officers. Statistically, it is shown over and over again that capital punishment is not a deterrent and when you think of the spate of be-heading going on in downtown Iraq, you do wonder what the difference is. Yet, we express utter abhorrence at the beheadings even though the perpetrators murmur stuff about ancient rituals and rights. Get it wrong with capital punishment and?erm..you have a wee problemo too as the person on the end of the wrong decision can?t really do much about it apart from make an appeal at the Pearly Gates. Nope, there ain?t much to suggest that capital punishment can be justified.

● Should cannabis be legalised?

Legalisation could and, maybe, should lead to the reduction in black market, unregulated sales of what seems a harmless drug merely on the basis that it isn?t addictive. I?m not entirely convinced as I suspect that some cannabis users will go on to harder drugs and I just query whether they would if they hadn?t found a way onto the drugs ladder. I did read a fascinating piece in the Sunday Times t?other day about the re-emergence of magic mushrooms and the overt selling of them in outlets in London and the like. Apparently, the Government is nervous about the increasing usage of these hallucinogens by new users who under-estimate the effects, leading to the occasional death. Nervous about one, not the other? Hmmmmmm?..


● Is beauty only skin deep?

To tell the truth, I do like to see a nice, attractive blonde with a great body so I would forgive her if she had the personality of dried papyrus with dung on it. However, of course, some folks have a fierce inner beauty that shines out. Achilly, take me for instance?ugly as sin and no personality at all. Erm?..think of another example then.

● Do animals have rights?

Yeah, why not? There?s nothing worse than badger bating, bull fighting, donkey bashing etc so we really should respect our fury and not so fury friends. I mean, I do hope those vicious anglers out there, place their piscine captives back in the water along with a cheque for the inconvenience they?ve caused.

● Does Britain still need a monarchy?

I?m really sorry but I haven?t got a lot of time for the monarchy. They simply leech of the taxpayer as far as I?m concerned and the odd waive out of a carriage along with the odd knighting hardly makes up for the heavy burden of the Civil List. It?s ludicrous that a modern country like ours hasn?t got a Republic with a president and all. The Royal family is simply a tourist attraction and little else.

● Should fox hunting be banned in England and Wales?

Crikey, yes! I?m sure the thousands of posh folk calling themselves The Countryside Alliance will continue to filibuster subsequent readings of the Bill to ensure it never becomes law but fox hunting is little better than bull fighting and other barbaric methods of ceremonial animal slaughter. Surely the ex Oxbridge lot can find other ways to fill their time other than the fondly recalled dick slamming in heavy doors that used to resonate down the halls of Uni in their heyday (Alexie Sayle gag). All those dukeys on their grand steeds
chasing that poor old fox And?if we need to cull numbers for pest reasons then do it humanely so this still doesn?t justify fox hunting. Oh..and don?t give me all that stuff about thousands of jobs being lost in the country. What about the supposed slimming down of Whitehall that?s meant to be taking place over the next decade? I?m sure all of those people will find something else.

● Should Britain join the Euro?

Nope. I?m afraid our one sortie into Europe was a total disaster with the pound being devalued as the time to stave off a financial crisis. With such a huge disparity in interest rates and the British economy being so much stronger than that of Europe, I simply fail to see how we would benefit. The trade deals alluded to by the pro-Europe camp happen now anyway. So, for me, the whole European argument centres around a craving for power and a desire for politicians to take their place at the top of the new European political totem poll that will bring enhanced political power with it. No sirree?keep ordering your Euros and keep it at that.

● Should all fire arms be banned for private use?

Maybe. On a recent trip to bonny Scotland, we were very close to Dunblane and it seemed a shame that such a beautiful part of the world will be tainted forever by those dark deeds all those years ago. It would be retrograde for the country to slide into a gun culture like that in the US although there is increasing evidence that fire-arms are becoming a regular fixture in the criminal fraternity. I know of quite a few people that prefer to live here rather than in the US as it?s a safer place to bring up their kids. It would be a shame if this changed.

● What is your opinion on legal prostitution?

Legalising prostitution would simply make the industry tran
sparent and accountable rather than all the blurred, seedy boundaries that surround it now. The Dutch are rigorous in their approach with up to date medical advice, care and strict definitions of what can and can?t happen in brothels. I seem to remember watching Jeremy Clarkson reading through the charter that applies to prostitutes and it went ad infinitum! Like cannabis, it would make sense to drive the murky profiteers out of this business.


● Are we living in rip off Britain?

Yep. Prices here are ridiculous and the overall tax burden increases every year. We have the highest petrol prices in the world and money ear-marked for Public Services is simply swallowed up in wage demands and an ever increasing bureaucracy. I?m thinking of applying to be a tree counter for the local council. I understand it?s a job with prospects and great pay!

● What is your opinion on pornography?

I?m not really a user of pornography to any great extent. It?s everywhere, of course, and most folks are spammed to death with offers of hot sex babes and bigger penises (or is that penisii?). Pornography has to have parameters, though, and these become wider all the time. I know of a friend (not me, yer fool) who went to the Erotica exhibition in London this year. The?erm?videos and DVDs know no shame but he is very open minded so who is right and who is simply frustrated with hang ups? I?ll tell you after my latest visit to the shrink.

● Is genetically modified food right?

The motive to produce more food has to be right with so much of the world starving. As to how safe it is, I really haven?t got the data to make a case. I realise that there is quite a broo-ha-ha over GM and a lot of uncertainty in the public?s mind. Personally, I?m off to e-mail John Gummer a
fter that sound advice he gave the public about the safety of beef.

Righteo, if you don?t mind I?m going back to me revision or alternatively the 2nd half of Czech Republic v Germany. What?s really important in the world is that England beat Portugal tomorrow night?right?

Mara.

Summary: