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General |
| Date: |
24.06.04 (58 review reads) |
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Advantages: I want you, I need you, But there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you
Disadvantages: Now don't be sad (don't be sad), Cos two out of three ain't bad, (I love Meatloaf!)
We?ve all been invited to contribute to a quick mass debate (heh heh heh - oh, wait, someone already made that joke). Here are my answers to the questions, since I know you won?t be able to sleep till you know what I think.
Do you believe in life after death?
Nope. When it?s over it?s over. While Dante certainly paints an appealing picture, I don?t believe that I?m going to spend eternity sitting on a giant flower singing, or being chewed up by one of Satan?s many mouths.
Should smoking be banned in public places?
No. I smoke, I smoke on the streets, I smoke at bus stops, I smoke in pubs. I don?t smoke around people who are eating, or kids, or people who ask me not to; I?ll go and stand outside, or further away from them, in that case. If you live in a big city, pollution from cars probably causes more damage than passive smoking anyway.
Is capital punishment wrong?
Absolutely, in all cases. Two wrongs don?t make a right, right? Seeing Nick Broomfield?s monumentally depressing documentary about Aileen Wuornos really drove that home. I was just reading a book about the Nuremberg trials, which describes the reactions of the Nazis who were sentenced to death, how they coped during their last few weeks of life. I felt sorry for them, even though they?d committed the worst crimes anyone was brought to trial for last century. Not even Goering and Ribbentrop deserved that. No death penalty for anyone.
Should cannabis be legalised?
Like, yeah man. It has medicinal benefits, and could be taxed. Also, people wouldn?t have to hang around dodgy side streets in King?s Cross and end up paying £20 for a little block of wood. Instead they could be relaxing at home, listening to Dark Side of the Moon and looking at that
stain on the wall that looks just like a face if you stare at it for long enough. Or considering the really important questions, like, you know, if life were an opinion on dooyoo, how useful would it be?
Is beauty only skin deep?
God, I hope not.
Do animals have rights?
Up to a point. People have more rights, though. Almost every medicine I?ve ever taken has probably been pumped into a miserable beagle at some point; regrettable but necessary. If human cloning ever becomes available then maybe people can be grown to test things on instead. That would be better, wouldn?t it? Gratuitous cruelty to animals is bad, of course (and testing cosmetics is gratuitous cruelty - beauty?s not skin deep, after all), but justifiable use of animals to better the lot of the human race is preferable to never trying to cure anything ever again.
Does Britain still need a monarchy?
Sweet Jesus, no! They don?t do nearly enough for the amount they get paid, serve a very limited constitutional role and cost the tax payer money that could be spent on something better. Basically, they?re rocking on my dime and I don?t like it! (Or rather, they will be rocking on my dime if/when I get a job and have to start paying taxes again.) I?d be happy for them to stay if they did two things. First, whenever they?re not busy opening garden fetes or whatever, they should do something useful for a couple of days, like drive a bus or work in a post office. Second, they should all have DNA tests to make sure their parents are who they?re supposed to be. There are at least four senior royals who are rumoured to be illegitimate. If they get civil-list money on the basis of who their parents are, then we have a right to know who their parents *actually* are.
Should fox hunting be banned in England and Wales?
Yeah, I guess. I do get pissed off with this, though. With the way the government keeps vaguely promising to ban it and then never does, allowing it to keep on being an issue. And then they?ll promise to ban it again when they?re getting a bit unpopular, and they?ll back out at the last minute again? It?s an emotive issue that?s used to deflect attention away from what we should really be worried about. The NHS is getting worse, the education system is in free fall, public transport is an insult, and we?re still in Iraq. But that?s OK, cos Tony?s gonna save the cute widdle foxes. Give me a break.
Should Britain join the Euro?
Yes, if only to see the look on Kilroy-Silk?s face. The economic arguments vary wildly, depending on which side of the fence the argument comes from. But most people seem to object more for reasons of nationalism than anything else. I really don?t understand the problem here. Look at the United Kingdom - four very different countries united by a common currency (and a lot more), but England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland have all managed to maintain distinct national identities. Why do people worry that if we adopt the Euro we?re suddenly going to have our cherished way of life threatened? Joining the Euro is not an inevitable step towards a federal Europe.
Should all fire arms be banned for private use?
Yes. Only farmers, off the top of my head, might need to keep a gun in their homes. Everyone else doesn?t. Guns have limited applications, don?t they? Why would you need one? What would you use it for?
What is your opinion on legal prostitution?
Prostitution?s been around forever. It?s been illegal for centuries. It still goes on. We?re never going to stop it, so yes, legalise i
t and tax it.
Are we living in rip off Britain?
In some respects, sure. I?m not bothered about high tax on booze and fags, although I make use of both - they?re bad for you, so they should cost a lot. Petrol seems to be a bit overpriced, but I don?t drive and never intend to. Seeing my flatmate come back from New York recently with dozens of DVDs that he got for $5 a piece made me quite angry. I?m so shallow.
What is your opinion on pornography?
Morally I have no problem with it, as long as all participants are willing and of the age of consent. But it?s rubbish. Given all the fun things that people can do to each other, you?d think that porn would be great. But all the porn I?ve seen is unimaginative and boring. The performers are really unappealing, too, with orange skin, unreal breasts, hideously long fingernails. Mind you, I recently saw some silent French porn from the 20s, which was a lot more imaginative than the modern day variety, and in which all the performers looked normal, and that didn?t do anything for me either. Perhaps I?m just not a porn person.
Is genetically modified food right?
In principal, yes. I?m not sure that its possible effects on the environment have been fully explored as yet, which concerns me, but if it can be proved to be safe then I?m all for it. Scientific advances shouldn?t be feared. The bizarre tabloid concept of ?Frankenstein food? is just a typically conservative-with-a-small-c attempt to resist change by playing on people?s fear of the unknown.
Ha ha ha. There we are then. That?s my take on the great contemporary issues. I hope I?ve helped you to make sense of the confusing modern world.
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