The Good, The Bad and The Ugly (General)

Member Name: Fiver29

Product:	General
Date:	07/11/09 (54 review reads)
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I am coming up on 40 at a rate of knots, and I've been pondering on the old saying 'life begins at forty', this has made me look back at my first 40 years and wonder what else could happen in the next 40. I think my life has been quite varied so far, so I thought I'd share it with you.

== The Good ==

Childhood

I was born on the other side of the country from where I live now, in a small town called Hessle, which is just on the outskirts of Hull. I only lived there until I was 6 though, when we moved for a year to Israel, because of my dad's employment. I actually went to school while I was there, but for the most part all I remember from that year is spending time on the beach and swimming in the manmade lagoon just across the road from our apartment. From there we moved to Barrow, where the family have stayed ever since.

Work

These are some of the things that I've enjoyed, been proud of, etc. First would be being promoted to Computer Department Supervisor in my first job after starting out as just a YTS trainee. YTS for those too young to remember was a government scheme, it stood for Youth Training Scheme, where teenagers straight out of school would work for just over £20 a week, and in return receive on the job training. The scheme lasted for 2 years, after that I was employed directly with the firm and 6 months later I was promoted; there were a few complaints and grumblings, because there were people who'd worked there for 10 years or more who also went for promotion. I' very proud of the fact my work was of such a high standard that I beat all these people to the post.

My other moment of glory was a few years later. I'd left that job and gone back to college, and then moved south to plunder the job opportunities down there, as Barrow had already begun its decline. I found a job at a firm working in Mars Confectionary, and after a couple of weeks I was given a manual of Pascal (the computer programming language) and asked to write a programme that would collate and compare historical weather data and crop yields. I'd done a bit of programming in BASIC at school, but that was it. But after lots of studying in the evening and lots of head scratching I finally had a programme that worked, and I was really proud when it was distributed to various offices, including Mars and other food manufacturers.

Happy, giddy or just plain drunk

For a good 10 months way back in the early 90's, myself and a friend went on a wild drinking spree. We went out every night of the week, expect Wednesdays for some reason, and spent an absolute fortune on alcohol. It got to a point where we were spending £30 a night, so we decided to save money and buy a bottle of vodka to have before we went out, then we wouldn't need to buy drinks in the clubs. Never quite worked out that way though, we ended up having the vodka and then spending almost as much anyway. I hate to think how much we got through.

But we had some amazing nights, and even now almost 20 years later we still laugh at the times we had and the people we met.

Greatest Days

There are only two that could possibly make it under the title of 'Greatest Days' and those are the days when my two children were born. There is nothing quite like it, and anyone who's ever had a child will know what I mean, if they haven't then it's hard to explain. There are so many emotions, pure elation, fear of the unknown (the first time anyway), it's an exciting yet scary day, you've brought this new life into the world and now you have to put your own feelings aside forever, because that little bundle of joy will always come first.

==The Bad ==

Those who are no longer with us

Unfortunately we all have people we've lost. My first experience of death came with my granddad, who died when I was 13, closely followed my one of my real inspirations in life; my auntie. Since that time I've lost both of my remaining grandparents (my other granddad had died the month before I was born), and in November last year my mum passed away.

As well as family, a couple of very good friends have passed away, one was an ex boyfriend who had a heart attack whilst out enjoying a pint, and just in the last month a very good friend who would also have reached 40 soon, died of a brain haemorrhage. They say as you get older you know more dead people than live ones, but thankfully I haven't reached that stage yet.

Perhaps the worst of all the deaths of people I know came when an ex colleague bludgeoned another colleague (and friend) to death with a metal pipe. Whilst this person wasn't as close as the other people I know, it was a terrible shock, especially as she had 2 young sons. It's also a bit scary to think that the man who killed her used to come out drinking with us on a Monday night, and if you'd asked me about him before this happened, I would have said he was a gentle and kind man, who adored his family. Just shows how you never really know people.

== The Ugly ==

There are times in most people's lives where there are things they're not proud of, and I have those too, but I'm not going to deny them, because they have still helped to shape the person I am today and they're still part of my history.

Both incidents are related, the first truly ugly think to happen in my life was when I was attacked and raped by an acquaintance of my ex husband a few weeks after me and my ex had separated. I'm not going to go into any details, except to say that I was already at a low ebb because of the breakup of my marriage, and this incident enhanced my depression a hundred fold.

This led to the second incident, when I took an overdose of anti depressants and paracetamol. Now I know immediately there will be people reading that who are thinking 'how selfish', well unless you've felt that low you can't understand how the mind works. And yes I did have two young children, but in my mind I was useless to them, I couldn't even manage to keep myself safe, how was I supposed to keep two children safe in a world full of so many dangers.

Luckily my family are amazing and I came through both of these ordeals with their help. And neither of the kids are any the wiser. Whether I say anything when they're older, I don't know. I doubt it, because knowing wouldn't help them in any way.

== The next 40 years ==

Well that's my life in a nutshell; okay there are a few more bits and pieces, but nothing that'd interest anyone else.

Do I have any ambitions for the next 40 years? Hopefully I'll complete my psychology and criminology degree and find a job that I really enjoy. I'm confident about getting my degree, but a job I enjoy, hmmm I think that'll be a difficult task.
I hope to see both my kids happy in their lives, whether it's being married with children, or in a career they're happy with.
Other than that the only other real ambition I have is to throw myself out of a plane, with a parachute attached of course.

Summary: It's all about me