There is only one way to describe the German football team, and it only takes two words to do so – ABSOLUTE SHAMBLES.

The once mighty side, feared by everyone, have been in decline ever since they beat Argentina in Turin on 8th July 1990 by a n Andreas Brehme penalty to nil. That match gave the Germans their third World Cup Final victory, and at the time they were the most successful footballing nation ever, winning the trophy 3 times and being runners-up on 3 occasions.
But only 11 years later, they were thrashed 5-1 at home by England, a team who have only ever won one major tournament, 35 years ago, and a team who have not beaten Germany since the World Cup final that year.

Since 1990, Germany have played in 2 World Cups and 3 European Championships, winning just one of those competitions, Euro ’96. For another team this may have been a successful time – but not the Germans.

Germany and, before them, West Germany are famous for their efficient style of play. Everyone knows that they are going to use a 3-5-2 formation, but they have always been able to raise their game whenever needed. Only one defeat in 60 World Cup qualifying matches (they lost 1-0 to Portugal having already qualified) before the England match shows that they will not be broken down easily – but that is exactly what England did.

The German team have become a laughing stock for the rest of the world, and that was perfectly demonstrated by the English humiliation of them.

The so-called ‘best goalkeeper in the world’ Oliver Khan is doing little to live up to his reputation. He conceded 3 against Liverpool while playing for Bayern Munich, and then just 8 days later 5 more, against England. And although there was some world-class finishing by Michael Owen in particular, a truly brilliant goalkeeper would have saved 2 if not the of England’s goals.

But the goalkeeper can not be blamed totally fo
r England’s goal-scoring spree. The blame really lies with Germany’s world famous back 3. Times have changed since the days of Lothar Matthaus and Matthias Sammer – a defence that even the best of strikers didn’t want to play against has turned into a defence which Sunday League teams would be relishing the prospect of facing.
There seems to be no communication between the defence – their attempts at catching England offside were laughable. They were unable to cope with the Wimbledon-style long ball tactic, which England continuously used, and their attempts at tackling England’s forward men were almost non-existent.

Without Mehmet Scholl, Germany are dreadful in midfield. Only Dietmar Hamann seems to be playing with any ability in an area which Germany need to be functioning well due to their traditional lack of striking prowess. And he seems to be brilliant at picking up bookings on a regular basis, something which is vital to avoid in international football. Sebastian Deisler is Germany’s big hope but he seems to fail on the biggest stage – firstly in Euro 2000, and then in the 5-1 drubbing by England.

Up-front (traditionally Germany’s weakest area) has now been overtaken by the defence as the worst part of their game – and that is not a complement to a new found ability in front of goal.
Carsten Jancker, who once failed a trial with Luton Town and cannot get a regular game for Bayern Munich, leads the front line. He is one of Germany’s better players, but by no means good.
His strike partner is the German Andy Cole – Oliver Neuville has scored just once for his country in 27 appearances.
After a disastrous Euro 2000 (even worse than England’s tournament) Germany appointed Rudi Voller, a man who played in the 1990 World Cup Final, and more importantly a man who did not really want the job on a full-time basis.
Although he was to become an in
stant hero in Germany, after a successful start to the World Cup 2002 qualifying campaign, it is unclear why. Germany beat Kevin Keegan’s poor England side, and got lucky with a win against Albania and draw against Finland.

Therefore, when looking for someone to blame for Germany’s current predicament, the German FA
must be high on the list – they appointed a man who had publicly stated that he did not want the job.

As long as England do not slip up against Albania and Greece, Germany will find it very tough to qualify for the 2002 World Cup.
They will be forced into a two-legged play-off, likely to be against the Ukraine. Ukraine are no the best team in the world but they do have two of the world’s better strikers – Sergei Rebrov and Andrei Schevchenko, who have easily enough talent to score as many goals past the frail German defence as England did.

Holland are not going to make the next World Cup and, unless something drastic is done, Germany will join them as spectators.