THE GOOD, THE BAD... AND THE SCOTTISH!!! (Good and bad things to come from Scotland)

Name: dlb74

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Product:	Good and bad things to come from Scotland
Date:	27/06/07 (118 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: There are lots of good things from Scotland...

Disadvantages: Deep fried Mars Bar?!? No thanks!!!

Being a Scot who has recently done the unthinkable and relocated south of the border, I felt I had to suggest a topic that might help me with my home-sickness that I get from time to time...

I've been considering suggesting this topic for quite some time now as I think it will also lead to some very interesting debate. Of course this can be applied to anywhere - so get some suggesting done, folks!

I didn't want this to be just another 'top 10' best or worse list... (though it will no doubt include many examples of what I consider to be good and bad exports from Scotland) for me at least, this list isn't exhaustive and will no doubt be added to in the future when I miss 'Bonnie Scotland'... Och!!!


THE GOOD STUFF
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Sean Connery
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As a self-confessed movie geek, I had to include Sean Connery...

Born Thomas Sean Connery in Edinburgh on 25 August 1930, Sean Connery has been in absolutely loads of my favourite movies including seven James Bond movies (he was the first actor to play 007 in the official series of Bond movies), Highlander, The Untouchables, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade and The Rock.

Connery recently announced his retirement from movies and even reprising his role of Dr Henry Jones Senior (Indy's father) couldn't tempt him back. His official response was as follows:

"I get asked the question so often, I thought it best to make an announcement. I thought long and hard about it and if anything could have pulled me out of retirement it would have been an Indiana Jones film.

I love working with Steven (Spielberg) and George (Lucas), and it goes without saying that it is an honor to have Harrison (Ford) as my son. But in the end, retirement is just too damned much fun.

I, do however, have one bit of advice for Junior: Demand that the critters be digital, the cliffs be low, and for goodness sake keep that whip by your side at all times in case you need to escape from the stunt coordinator!

This is a remarkable cast, and I can only say, 'Break a leg, everyone.' I'll see you on May 22, 2008, at the theater!"

That's a pretty cool statement. I love how he referred to Harrison Ford as Junior as that's what he called Indy throughout most of Last Crusade - much to Indy's utter annoyance!

I saw Sean Connery when I used to work at the Edinburgh Odeon. He attended the premiere of 'Dragonheart' (in which he gave the voice to the Dragon, Draco). He got onto the stage of Odeon 1 and gave a speech. I was on the stairs (on duty) he was due to walk up when his speech was finished and for whatever reason, the person who was behind the spotlight didn't follow him off the stage...

Thinking quickly, I pulled out my torch and lit the steps ahead of 'big Tam' in case he should fall...

"Chrisht! Bloody Bashtard shteps!"

Thankfully, he didn't fall... and he didn't even thank me as he passed by! Hmppph!!!


Billy Connolly
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Born in Glasgow on 24 November 1942, Billy Connolly is one of my all time favourite comedians. His stand up routines are often full of expletives and probably not for the faint of heart - but are always extremely funny - with lots of takes on everyday life and bodily functions - including farting and much, much more!

Billy endured a very hard childhood life in his Glasgow tenement - including sexual abuse at the hands of his own father. He then went on to leave school at the tender age of 15 to become a welder in the Glasgow shipyards.

Billy is also a notable musician and folk singer. He formed a folk duo called The Humblebums with Tam Harvey who eventually left and was replaced by Gerry Rafferty (who would go on to form his own music career - including recording Baker Street).

While Billys rise to fame has been far from easy, it is very easy to see his utter happiness and joy when up on the stage. I've never yet had the chance to see Billy live but if he tours again and I get the chance to see his show, I will jump at the chance.

I'll give some classic quotes from 'The Big Yin' before moving on...

"I worry about ridiculous things, you know? How does a guy who drives a snowplough get to work in the morning? That can keep me awake for days.."

"What always staggers me is that when people blow their noses, they always look into their hankies to see what came out. What do they expect to find?"

"A well balanced person has a drink in each hand."

"The human race has been set up. Someone, somewhere, is playing a practical joke on us. Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex. Men need to have sex to feel loved. How do we ever get started?"

"Scottish-Americans tell you that if you want to identify tartans, it's easy - you simply look under the kilt, and if it's a quarter-pounder, you know it's a McDonald's!"

"Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he think he was doing at the time?"

"The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards."


Irn Bru
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Produced by A.G. Barr since 1901(!), Irn Bru is now regarded as Scotland's other national drink - with the main drink associated with Scotland being Whisky.

The drink is equally loved and reviled by many (I fall into the former category) but it certainly is now regarded as a part of Scottish life. I'm happy to say that Irn Bru is available in Newcastle-upon-Tyne where I live now - so I can always grab a drink of it if I get too home-sick.

It's a bold, bright orange colour and to be honest, the sight, smell and taste of the drink certainly isn't for everyone. On the packaging, it states itself to be a 'flavoured soft drink'... but what flavour is it?!?

The advertising campaigns for Irn Bru have always been very memorable. I remember adverts for the drink on TV in my childhood that stated that the drink was "Made in Scotland from girders". They often showed drinkers of Irn Bru to get stronger when drinking it... It must be all those artificial colours and flavourings!

The ads have often been controversial - with funny TV adverts and bill board posters offending some people who failed to see the funny side of the tongue-in-cheek humour therein.

One billboard poster had a photo of an old man surrounded by his dogs. The tagline said "I love Irn Bru and so do my bitches".

The most recent television advert shows a group of Goth teenagers (well known for being supposedly very miserable) who decked out in suitably goth-esque black and blacker clothing and white and black make up on their faces and sitting around miserably until they drink Irn Bru - at which point they all become very happy and head off to Blackpool. Once there, they surf on coffin-shaped surf-boards and try to drink Irn Bru on a rollercoaster.


Television
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Now, I know that some people might want to put television in the bad stuff list rather than the good stuff list - but love it or hate it, the television is one of the most influential inventions ever.

Although the invention of television can be attributed to other inventors, it was the Scottish inventor, John Logie Baird played a massive part in the evolution of television as he was the first to send an image across 438 miles of telephone line from London to Glasgow.

So... regardless of your opinions on the televisual goggle-box, haunted fish-tank or whatever you call it in your home, a Scot played a very important part in it being there!


Telephone
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Although other inventors played an important part in the invention of the telephone, it was Edinburgh-born inventer Alexander Graham Bell who following his emigration to America was was awarded the U.S. patent for the invention of the telephone in 1876.

It would surely be unimaginable to him to see how the telephone is used by everyone these days - with the constantly changing mobile phone market.


THE BAD STUFF
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Deep fried Mars Bars
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The deep fried Mars bar is now sadly very much associated with Scotland - and very often attributing to media speculation on the poor diets of many Scottish people.

This odd dish apparently originiated in a chip shop in Stonehaven - on the North-East coast of Scotland.

The deep fried Mars Bar has now become infamous due to media attention and is made by placing a chilled Mars Bar into a deep fat fryer and placed into the type of batter used for fish and other dishes.

I'm delighted to say that I have never tried this culinary "delight" and have no intention to - so I can't give any insight into whether or not it actually tastes nice but if the very thought of it is anything to go by then I'll give it a miss, thank you very much!


Scottish sports and results
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As someone who doesn't really care for televised sports (I mostly HATE football but sometimes watch a little rugby from time to time), I am still aware that generally speaking, Scots are pretty much crap at every sport they play.

The exceptions to this rule seems to be any sport that can be played in a pub - i.e. darts, snooker etc (though God only knows how we got a gold medal in curling... I guess the bar at their local was polished up and they had to brush the bar to get pints down it?)...

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There are very likely more additions coming to both the good and bad lists above... so come back to see what else is added... my mind has currently gone blank!

Many thanks for reading this nonsense!

Derek.

Summary: The pros and cons of Scotland!