Why's the Rink End full of sh...er, poo? (Hartlepool United F.C.)

Member Name: The_Cat

Product:	Hartlepool United F.C.
Date:	20/05/01 (23 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Play good football, Good entertainment value-whether brilliant or comically bad

Disadvantages: Too inconsistent, Charge too much for tickets

Hartlepool United are probably the most consistent under-achievers in the Football League. Formed in 1908, their 2 promotions since that time have kept them above the bottom division for 4 seasons, and they might have some sort of record for the most re-elections to the league in the 60's and 70's (basically, we and a couple of other crap teams [who changed each year-unlike us] had to beg every May to be allowed to stay in the League).

At the moment, we have a board that won't give the manager any money (take a bow, Increased Oil Recovery), a manager who played in goal for Man United (Chris Turner, who was in goal when Pools beat United 5-1 in 1988), and a bunch of players who are unbeatable most days, but sometimes as useful as the Luxembourg Navy (geographical gag - you'll get it soon enough). Oh, and a mascot who got into the tabloids twice - for alledgedly, ahem, 'performing something' on a Scunthorpe steward, then for taking a blow-up doll onto the pitch at Blackpool and getting his head kicked in by a 10-year old.

As a supporter since 1992 (the year after our last promotion, natch), last season was the best I can remember. We started slowly (this is a Poolie tradition that probably stopped us being champions this year), turned Barnet over 6-1 at home, went 21 games unbeaten (not that you'd know it from the Press coverage we got) and got into the Division 3 play-offs. However, we also went 3-1 up at Mansfield with 10 minutes left and still lost 4-3, took a 2-1 lead into injury time at Cardiff and got beat 3-2, and conceded more late goals than I've had hot dinners (Cliche Of The Year 1973). Without these (and a 5-1 mauling on aggregate against Blackpool in the play-offs) we'd have gone up as champions anyway. Still, there's always next year...

Yeah, always next year, when the likes of goalscoring midfielder Tommy Miller (if we haven't sold him for £1.2million to Middlesbrough), defensi
ve colossus James Sharp (aka Maximus Throwus - chucks a ball further than most can kick one), and midfield dynamo Ian Clark (the Ginger Ginola - either takes the mick out of the opposition down the left flank [especially Hull, for some reason] or himself, depending on how he feels) should see us into Division Two. Even the most miserable bus drivers used to burst out laughing when they saw my Pools shirt, and it's a relief and a joy that Hartlepool can now boast a football team to be at least a bit proud of.

Summary: