I definetely found love on the internet, but not in the way you are all thinking.
I met one of my closest friends, Matt, on the social networking site, Facebook.
I seen his friend request and then noticed that we had one mutual friend, someone who i trusted, so i accepted.
To be quite frank, i had forgotten about his friend request the day he began mailing me with the simpliest 'hi'. Out of politeness, i greeted him back. But one thing lead to another and we were talking online for hours. Matt came across as a very caring and friendly guy and the more we talked, the more I found that we had so much in common. Matt became my little secret friend, if you like. I'd come home, kick the feet up, switch on the laptop and be there, typing away, for hours on end, until i'd fall asleep.
We exchanged emails.
At that time, messenger was all the range. We'd talk for hours on end about the randomest of things. I can actually remember one time talking about going to get haircuts. From the silliest thing would come an hour long conversation. We became very close very quickly. I felt I could trust Matt and he could me. Within our first month or so of talking on facebook and msn, he trusted me enough to tell me really personal things about his life. I felt so honoured that even though we hadn't met, Matt felt that he could actually trust me with things that were so close to his heart. In my life at that time, I had not long broken up with my ex. For me it was an unhappy relationship, but the feeling wasn't mutual and we ended on bad terms. Matt helped me overcome my feelings of guilt and generally just got me back to my usual happy self. I was so grateful for that.
We exchanged numbers.
After two or three months, we began texting one another. I would constantly sit on my phone, texting Matt. I'd be sitting at the dinner table with my phone out, typing away, and my parents, bless their heart, would jump everytime my ringtone went. I'd text during lessons. When I was meant to be writing an essay, I'd be texting to Matt, talking about how I broke my pen or how he fell over his shoelaces. It just became habit.
We finally met.
Matt and I arranged to meet during the winter. I travelled a mere fifteen minutes to the area where he stays with a couple of my friends and he met me, at a bus stop which was incredibly hard to find, with our mutual friend.
Was Matt the person that I expected? No.
No, he definetely wasn't what I expected. But he exceeds what I expected, by a mile. Matts very tall, has a very charming smile and is very, very talkative.. sometimes too talkative! I remember his smile when we first met and he picked me up - i'm an incredibly small height - and bear hugged me. And from then on, we became great friends. The best infact.
From a mutual friend on facebook to a bestfriend, it's definetely not the most conventional way of meeting someone.
Never the less, i did find love on the internet, and i found it in my bestfriend, Matt.
***MY EXPERIENCE OF LOVE SO FAR***
I am 26yrs of age and have had a few relationships, one of which lasted for 5 years, but ended in a bad way when I realised what he had been doing behind my back. In some of my other relationships which were shorter I have seen violence, effects or drinking and effects of drugs. I was much younger when some of these things happned to me and it's something you learn from. Luckily I wasn't the one drinking, using drugs or being violent, how-ever I did get the effects of it when my boyfriend at the time would become a totally different person and take things out on me all the time. After breaking up with my ex of 5 years, and being single for about 3yrs, I was sure I was never going to meet someone again who would care and love me for the way I was. In my last relationship I experienced bad self esteem issues so my confidence wasn't very high either. I did used to go out with my friends into my local town and sometimes I would chatted up by guys, but I was looking for someone different, someone whom I didn't know from my local town. I started to believe love didn't exist and that I would be on my own for many years to come. Some of my friends were in long term relationships and engaged so that was making me feel even worse but then I started thing think, maybe my time hasn't come yet.
About a year ago I was going through some very bad times and felt a bit lost and helpless, a friend of mine does something called angel readings, this doesn't look into your future but it can give you guidance. I know some people are probably thinking this is a load of rubbish but I really believe in things like that. Anyway the cards I choose happened to all represent love and I was told I would meet someone very soon whom I have never met before and was told I need to be patient. Some other things were said which were very accurate, how-ever these aren't relevant to this review so I'm not going to talk about those things. I wasn't quite sure whether to believe it or not, but decided I wasn't going to go out and look for love myself, I would let them look for me.
I know there are many dating websites and I constantly see advertising for them on the tv or hear their adverts on the radio. I have never really though about internet dating before, probably because I thought I would never have to use as I could meet a nice guy without it (how wrong was I?)! I know some people have found love on the internet but I have always been worried about the safety aspect of it. What happens if the person you are tlaking to isn't really the person they say they are or are totally different from their picture? I know you have to be very careful with internet dating. I have maybe looked at a few sites just out of curiosity but have never joined any sites or created profiles on any dating website before. Also there are so many dating websites which one are you meant to join and how long should you wait before you might go on a date? All this internet dating was something I didn't really have a clue about!
About 5-6 months after having the angel reading I was talking to a friend of mine online. He also wasn't having much luck with love and told me he was on a dating website (I'm not going to mention which one). He told me that he has been messaging a few people and had been on a date with someone. I thought to myself I would sign up and give it a go for a week, 2 at the most. When it comes to internet dating, it's something I thought I would never do and never even have a try at it. I created my profile and filled in some information about myself. I have previously done some modelling but decided not to mention any of this on my profile and I choose a nice picture of me (not a proffessional modelling shot) to upload onto my profile. i didn't want to mention anything about my modelling as people judge and I didn't want guys thinking they could take advantage.
Within a few days I started to receive messages from a few different guys, a lot of these I just wans't interested in as they didn't have the same interests as me or some I wasn't attracted to. I agree looks aren't everything and i tend to go for personality more than anything, how-ever I have to be attracted to them to want to go out and to be with them. Within the week and half I was on there, I didn't really find anyone I was interested in. I logged in towards the end of the 2nd week and checked my message. I was planning on leaving the website in a few days time. (Your probably thinking I was being very impatient!). I saw a message on there from a guy whom lived not too far form my town. His message was short but nice and he looked like a lovely guy and had some of the same interested as me. The dating site I was using actually only allowed you send a certain amount of messages a day as I didn't want to pay for membership. We agreed to add each other on facebook and continue to chat on there.
***THE FIRST MEET/DATE***
We exchanged quite a few messages on there and a week later he gave me his number, I dropped him a casual text one evening and he suggested we meet up for a drink. Although he has seen a few pictures of me, i was feeling very nervous and thought to myself what if he thinks I'm ugly in real life. Anyway we decided to meet in my local town at a nice bar. I didn't want to dress up too much but I wanted to look nice so opted for smart jeans, nice top and heels. I met him outside the bar and I coudln't believe how good looking he was. I was a bit taken back. He bought us a drink and we sat down and got to know each other by chatting about things we liked. The time went so quickly and it was time for me to get my bus home. He gave me a hug & kiss on the cheek and asked me to text him when I got home so he knew I got back safely. I did text him when he got home, and he replied saying he had a lovely evening and would be good to see me again.
We continued to meet every week and then meet a few times a week and I would go to his and watch a film or we would go out together for a meal or for a few drinks in the town. We both agreed we wanted to take things slow as we had both been hurt in the past. About a month past and I started staying at his at the weekends and would spend nearly every weekend with him.
***6 MONTHS LATER***
We have now been together for 6 months and I will be moving in with him by the end of october. I spend nearly all week and most weekends with him. I have met his mother and we get on very well and regularly meet to go out for lunch or to go ten pin bowling. He has met many of my friends and I have met many of his as well. We regularly go into town to meet our friends at the weekend. I never thought I could ever find someone to make me happy again and I didn't think I would be able to find someone who would accept me for who I am and not want to change me. The past 6 months has been the best 6 months, I have had in a very long time. I not only feel special but also feel wanted for the first in a very long time. We are very much in love with each other and care for each other very much. Some of our friends still don't know how we originally met, I think we are both a little embarrassed at how we met, but at the same time both very happy that we were both on there and managed to meet each other on there.
A few of my friends who know how me and my boyfriend met have teased me a little about internet dating but I don't care. I don't care because I have met the most amazing people who has made me very happy and we can both see us having a good future together. Some of you may not ever have to or will never try internet dating and just hope that the right on find's you or you find the right one. Because I wanted to meet someone I have never met before and wasn't having much luck, that's why I choose internet dating and for me it's worked out just fine. I wouldn't push others to do it, but it's worth a try as you never know who you might meet. Of course always be careful with regards to internet dating and never reveal too much information about yourself. For me internet dating worked really well and has bought me lots of happiness and smiles, and lots more to come.
(review may also appear on ciao)
Some people find the idea of meeting a potetial partner on the internet absurd. Others find it dangerous and stupid. I think it's a fantastic way to meet someone!
I actually met my boyfriend on the internet (though I wasn't actually looking for a boyfriend at the time!) on an internet forum. We swapped msn addresses and chatted reguarly. Due to the natre of the hobby that I was on the forum for, meetings occured regularly at shows between members, so I actually saw him for a few minutes at a time on a few occassions. Eventualy he plucked up the courage to ask me out and four years later everything is amazing between us, and we now attend University together at Bristol. Luckily for us we only ever lived ten minutes away and weirdly our parents had links between them and family friends.
There are so many advantages to searching for love on the internet. Some people find it exceptionally difficlt to pluck up the courage to talk to people that they find attractive, and thus never do and miss out on potential opportunities for love. The internet gives people like this (including me) the chance to be themselves and let others knows what they actually think of them in a rather flirtacious manner! They say opposites attract, but I thnik hat most people are looking for those similar to them and who have the same interests. The internet allows people to look at profiles to see if people agree with their lifestyle or not.
The internet can be dangerous and sometimes you really do have no idea who you are talking to. Always make sure that you arrange dates in places where there are lots of people, rather than a secluded area and make sure you tell someone where you are going.
There is no reason why people shouldn't search for love on the internet, because in some cases it certainly does work.
I met my husband on an internet forum site that my friend introduced me to about 3 years ago.
I happened to reply to a topic called "A-Z of hot babes" and he was the first person to ask me why I was not in the male section!
From that moment on we started talking and getting to know each other.
Our relationship developed over 5 months, we spoke constantly but we had a bit of a barrier, he lived in London and I lived in Liverpool.
We eventually decided to meet up and see how things went.
I was a little bit dubious at first but thought why not, and made sure we met in a public place.
3 years down the line, we are married and have our own flat in London.
I would never have thought this would have happened when we first started talking to each other.
One of the plus sides of meeting my husband over the internet was that I could get to know him inside out.
We told each other everything and I got to know him for who he is.
I've never been this happy.
I am indeed one of those increasingly popular people that have found love on the internet. I've had both good and bad experiences and one particularly bad one!!
It started about 4 years ago, I'd recently moved to a new town after my Dad leaving the army after 22 years. Being an army brat is like something else, you live in a kind of cocooned existence and when we moved back to our home town I found it hard to both meet and get to know new people, people I hadn't grown up with, people who didn't understand the army way of life.
Around the same time I started seeing a few adverts asking people to be penpals of our soldiers overseas, I dutifully complied and each week I found myself writing letters in my spare time, something I hadn't done in so long. Often only one or two letters would be exchanged, sometimes every week whilst they were away, but the majority fizzled out by the time they returned home, which was fine with me, I was happy to provide a friend whilst in that situation.
I'd met a few people by the time 2008 rolled on, and had one particularly bad experience in which I almost married someone (young and foolish) but found out he was cheating on me the month before the wedding and called it off. Realising I was far too young for anything like that and being more of the mindset of enjoying time with my friends, I left the internet scene and started meeting men the regular way.....unsuccessfully.
Then one evening in November 2008, I'd been going through a very difficult time, dealing with the death of my cousin, when a good friend suggested a night out to cheer me up. She came round to my house beforehand as we often did to have a few drinks. Whilst there she insisted on checking her Match.com profile, telling me all about the winks and messages she'd received, grinning like a cheshire cat I should mention.
Intrigue, alcohol and her persistence paid off and I found myself joining there and then, but standing my ground when it came to paying. I didn't want to pay to find love, I wanted love to come and find me (free of charge preferably)!! I uploaded my photo and checked the next day only to be pleasantly surprised that I had received many winks and a couple of messages. Being the nosy person I am, I immediately signed myself up and began trawling through the list of men, still telling myself I'd let Mr Right come to me! I met a couple of people, but as in the past these soon fizzled out after the first meeting, no-one really catching my eye.
That was until I received an email from Ozzie, real name Dan. Emails were sent back and forth over the next couple of days until he asked for my number, which I was happy to pass over! (He was gorgeous in his photos!!) We began texting each day, for about a week before Dan suggested we meet. Again we only lived about 20 minutes from each other which was highly convenient. We arranged the date for a thursday night, to meet in the town centre closest to my house and planned to go for a few drinks. The big day arrived and I was so nervous I could barely concentrate and considered ways in which I could call the date off, having never been this nervous before I couldn't understand it, until I realised, I actually liked this one. I even resorted to texting him advising a very important shopping trip had come up and I couldn't possibly meet, to which he replied he'd arranged a lift but if I didn't want to meet I should just let him know. Feeling awful, I realised I had to just suck it up and go!!
We arranged to stay out for only a couple of hours, we met on the corner of the street and after the inital hellos went to the nearest pub where we sat and talked for hours. Before we knew it the pub was closing and we shared a taxi home. So many questions ran through my head, did he like me too? would we see each other again? would he even text me?!!! Luckily my questions were answered when he arrived home soon after dropping me off in the taxi, insisting we meet again soon.
Within 2 weeks I went to his house for the evening and whilst watching tv he accidentally told me he loved me, one of those romantic moments that only ever happen on tv where it slips out and they then try unsuccessfully to take it back. It was at that point I realised I loved him too.
We became inseparable and are now living together looking at getting married in the next couple of years. The longest we have spent apart is 3 days, which coincidentally was just last month when he went on a good friends stag do, and it was the hardest 3 days ever.
So yes I do believe you can find love on the internet and I'm living proof, I may have kissed a few frogs to get here, but I have finally met my Prince Charming.
I met my wife on ICQ, for those who have never used it and I'm not even sure if its still around ICQ was a big thing about 10 years ago.
ICQ was a message/chat site in which you could enter your interests and then trawl through an open dialog box looking for interesting people to talk to.
As we are talking 10 years most of the users tended to be American or Far Asian but there would be a smattering of Europeans and British people on it as well.
You could start a chat with the person in which you typed in real time or you could send messages which when you received a new one gave an annoying high pitched double quaver sound.
Anyway this isn't a reveiw on ICQ but what it did, one night I came across a girl in leeds and said hello. We started chatting online, then progressed to the phone, then we met in person. Fair to say we got on well over the phone but didn't hit to off at first face to face, however, I kept persisting and we eventually started going out together.
Now its ten years later, we've been married 7 nearly 8 years, have a beautiful 14 month old son and another only a month away (child that is, we don't know the sex). So love can be found on the internet and the reason my now wife kept talking to me was when we first started chatting I didn't ask her chest size or ask her if she had any dodgy pictures - a lesson there for us all I feel.
Finally have fun dating online but please be sensible, and don't reveal too much about yourself until your ready to meet.
As of Spring 2011, Tor and I are no longer an item. I COULD choose to have this discussion pulled from the site however I still believe it is still a valid argument for using the internet as a platform to find romance.
I'd like to clarify that many of my ruminations contained within I now look upon with a slight cringe - they were the thoughts of an infatuated boy rather than a man in love.
Still, enjoy the tale of when...
When the 'Leccy D Met Tor the Moose...
A story of true love
"Where is my love life? Where can it be?!" Prince - 1984
It seems that today if you ask a couple where they met, the answer is just as likely to be 'we met online' as it is 'we met at work' or 'we met down the pub'. This should come as no surprise as the internet is all around us - we have access to it at our workplace, in public services such as the Library, and of course we have the internet in our homes. Yet, for many, internet relationships is still a subject which causes great scepticism.
After all, you don't have the benefit of seeing the person face-to-face, so it is entirely feasible that they may not be who they say they are, and even if they are, it is still possible for the person to paint a much idealised portrait of what they want you to perceive them to be. In short, you only have to show or give away exactly what you want to. The positive flipside to all this uncertainty is that when you do meet someone 'genuine', they are a lot more willing to be honest and up front than somebody you may meet elsewhere. The social networking site, the messenger or whatever else you may use, casts an imaginary shield of protection upon you and the reciprocator. You feel guarded, protected and ready to bare your soul to those who seem worth your time.
Yet it seems that for every person who says that they have used the internet to find their current romantic interest, there will be at least another two people casting a judgemental eye over them, full of criticism. But here I stand, ready to stamp down on the gonads of all those sceptics and willing to prove them wrong.
You can find love on the internet and I am the living proof.
"This ship is taking me far away, far away from my memories of the people who care if I live or die." Matt Bellamy - 2006
Back in the day, when I was 15 years old, I signed up to the social networking site Bebo. At the time I had recently moved from Cambridgeshire in England to a remote location in Scotland and I used Bebo as a practical way to stay in contact with my friends. I also 'met' loads of amazing new people online.
When I was 16 I moved back down to Cambridgeshire, England, and lived with my sister. During this time I met up with many of these people I had forged online friendships with, some of which are now best friends to me and I trust implicitly. During this time I took on the username TheLeccyD and I continued to 'meet' new people through Bebo.
Most importantly, this is where I first made contact with "TortheMoose", quite possibly the most beautiful person on the face of this sorry planet.
"Don't you wonder sometimes about sound and vision?" David Bowie - 1977
As most of you on Dooyoo will know, music is a big part of my life. When I was 16 years of age my music collection was relatively meagre, but the one thing I had in abundance was David Bowie records. He was one of the first musicians I really got into and his music was always very unusual and refreshing to me. In fact, if it wasn't for my love of David Bowie I probably would have never met "TortheMoose".
Bebo allows users to make quizzes. I had made a quiz about David Bowie and left a comment on a Bowie fan page saying that the first person to get 100% correct answers would get the amazing reward of my 'Bebo Love' for the day. You used to only get one portion of Bebo Love a day, these days you get three, but at the time it was the most valuable thing you could give within the realms of Bebo. Anyway, as you may have guessed, Tor got 100% on the quiz and demanded her share of the promised Bebo Love.
The comment below is my first to her:
"Congratulations on being the first to get 100% on my quiz!!!! Woooo go you!!! How be you??? Doesn't David Bowie just rock your socks off!!! He does mine!
Take Care now X"
Could I have sounded any more of a piece? Haha! Thankfully, Tor didn't believe me to be a serial murderer and we started talking, the common ground being our love of Mr David Jones (at this point I would like to note that we had an incredibly large amount of other things in common from the off, this is just a relatively simplified version of events).
"I live uptown, I live downtown, I live all around. I had money... I had none, but I never been so broke that I couldn't leave town... Yeah, I'm leavin' town." Jim Morrison - 1971
Tor and I had started talking. We had exchanged messenger addresses and phone numbers, we'd usually hear from each other at least once every 1-2 weeks. We'd just be informing one another of how our week had gone thus far - Tor's time at college, my time in unemployment. From the very start, Tor and I were honest and up front with one another. I trust she feels the same, but from the very beginning I felt we could talk about anything and everything, and we did just so.
Back in reality, times were hard for me while I was living at my sister's. I felt like I had tried to take on the entire world all at once. My sister and brother-in-law had been good to have me stay with them, but I just couldn't cope with living down there anymore. Among my troubles, I was unable to find work, I was running myself into the ground by going out far too frequently with friends and I was 'partying' too much. I am a quiet and introverted character who would much rather sit in with a few friends than to be getting intoxicated and God knows what else at a fiery shindig, so it is fair to conclude that this new lifestyle had smacked me in the chops. In short, I burnt myself out and needed to return home, even if that would mean once again residing in the middle of nowhere. So that's just what I did. I packed my bags and again, off I went.
"All my life I've failed to see one good thing standing in front of me... I searched, I stumbled and then I found you!" Nick Cave - 1992
Back in Scotland, I got my act together and went back into education, trying to gain every qualification available to me, so the next time I would return to England I'd have a better chance of finding work and making ends meet. In total I was back in Scotland for approximately 18 months.
During this time Tor and I had started speaking more regularly, sending text messages to each other most days. We had also started throwing in the odd telephone call for good measure. In the past, when speaking to someone on the phone before actually meeting them, 75% of the time it was awkward and a very bizarre experience. Not so with Tor, as it honestly felt like I had already known her since year dot and I could trust and confide in her.
Everything seemed to be going very well for me, although I did miss England and all of my friends terribly. Fortunately, I was able to stay in touch with friends and family via messenger, telephone and letter. I had to view my time back in Scotland as simply a means to an end, something which would provide a brighter future. However, the plot thickened and in the final months of 2008 I became consumed by a black cloud of depression. It took multiple meetings with a psychiatric nurse, hardcore medication and several months to bounce back from it, heaven knows it still effects me now, but the point is I managed to do so (within reason...).
"I could have been anyone, (and) you could have been anyone's dream! Why did you have to choose our moment? Why did you have to make me feel that? Why did you make it so unreal? Oh! To be in love!" Kate Bush - 1977
Since the start of 2009 Tor and I were speaking regularly. Each and every day we would receive texts from one another and we'd chat on the phone frequently. What's more, I was always looking forward to hearing from her and whenever I heard the isolated 'click' from my phone alerting me to a new text, I felt happy, delighted and ever so slightly giddy, such were my feelings towards her. Strange things were taking place inside of my heart, things I hadn't really felt before.
The truth is that I was falling in love with Tor... but how could I tell her?! All I could think was, 'But you haven't met her, it's absurd! She'll think you're mad and this'll compromise your friendship.' I had attached 'I love you' onto a few text messages, so if it went down positively I could capitalise on it, and if it went down negatively I could just merely shrug it off as a throwaway comment which I say to all of my friends (which I certainly do not). This wearing of one's heart on thy sleeve seemed to go unnoticed and Tor mentioned it not once.
Until one fateful night something extraordinary happened. Tor had gone out with some friends and it was a fine evening, they were drinking and becoming merry, as all good people should. Out of the blue I received a text from Tor saying, "Dan, I love you!" I needn't tell you that my heart skipped a beat when I received that text and I had the largest grin on my face. I would have given the Cheshire Cat from Alice In Wonderland a run for his money. Anyway, I calmed myself and sent a text back saying that I did love her also, although I had kinda discarded her text as merely merry behaviour.
But then she phoned me and in my memory her voice is still as clear as it was that evening, "Dan... I really do think I love you." Then for whatever reasons she had to go and she sent me a text apologising and putting all her behaviour down to drinkies.
"I give her all my love, that's all I do, and if you saw my love you'd love her too... I love her!" Paul McCartney 1964
And then it occurred to me, that possibly we both felt the same way and were just too scared to say anything. Tor, the brave moose that she is, had gotten the first word in and it was now time for me to find out if this was the real deal. The following morning I text her asking her if she genuinely meant what she said and she told me that she had meant it all. At that moment my heart leapt out of my chest and landed in her warm embrace.
We just got everything out in the open, we shared how we felt and I've never felt so good about anything in my entire life. I had found someone perfect, someone who makes me feel good about being me and furthermore someone who I am already best friends with.
"I've been looking so long at these pictures of you..." Robert Smith - 1989
I had planned to move back down to England in July 2009 and I ended up doing just so. Knowing that we shouldn't delay seeing each other for a moment longer, we arranged to meet for the very first time at the end of July. We spent the best part of a week together and it was positively dreamy, perfect and wonderful. I've scarcely been happier in my life and have never felt so carefree and overjoyed. To look into her eyes and to hold her is to experience the very spirit of love and the time we spent together now defines the very meaning of the word love to me. She has become my everything.
"I won't share you... With the drive and ambition, the zeal I feel, this is my time." Morrissey 1987
Despite all this, it may come as a surprise to you that we aren't a couple. Hell, I know it comes as a surprise to me each and every day, as it does to Tor. There are a series of complications which stand in the way, reasons which I do not wish to go into here, but the point of this entire discussion is that we did find love, even if right now our current circumstances do not allow it. Today, we continue to share an everlasting love and we cling to hope, as that might be all we have at the moment. We are both of the opinion that because our feelings are so strong and that our friendship is as sturdy as it is, that love will certainly find a way to make this work. It simply must.
To conclude, my advice is to definitely use the internet to meet people. It shouldn't replace other means of meeting people, such as through friends, at work and in real life social situations, but if you are single it will only increase your chances of finding someone to love. At the end of the day, love is love is love, and there's just as much chance of you finding it online as there is of finding it someplace else.
"Love is a beautiful thing; it has made me feel so alive. She gives me a reason to get up in the morning and she is my heart's desire." Daniel Kemp - 2009
Just discovered this category about love on the internet and seen as though so many people have admitted to it, I'm going to join the bandwagon as it were!
So, I'm going to let you in on a little secret.... I met my husband on a dating website!!! It all started about 5 year ago (this week actually - how spooky!) when I was working in Hull but living in Bradford and driving every day. This was down to a split with my ex partner and as I had not sold my house at the time, I hastilly moved back to my house and carried on working in Hull. For those of you not lucky enough to live in Yorkshire, the two are about an hour apart (longer in rush hour!). So there I was, 21, single, driving every night when I should be out partying and all alone... violins please. So, I cringed, didn't tell anyone, and registered on a dating website. To be honest, I haven't even a clue which one I registered on, but the emails started flooding in! I sieved out the weird ones, and ones twice my age and hey ho, I was left with my future husband!
When he first emailed me, I thought he looked a bit of a poser and would be too big for his own boots, but after several emails to each other, we decided to meet after learning he too worked in Hull. We immediately hit it off and the rest as they say is history. We have been married nearly four years and have two gorgeous girls! So, anyone thinking about registering should go for it! What have you got to loose!?
Gone has the stigma of online dating, as people work longer hours, people just don't have the time nowadays to meet people. With so many free dating sites, its so easy to get started. Just be wise and don't give out too much information until you feel you can trust someone. There that's the disclaimer bit over with!
Thanks for reading - and don't tell anyone where I met my hubby - none of our family and friends know!!!!
Just found this section and had to tell my story.
Back in Jan 03 I decided to have a clear out. Started off by listing a ton of books on ebay. One, Void Moon by Michael Connelly, was purchased and the buyer sent cash in an envelope. At the same time the buyer had also purchased a ream of photo paper from a man in Wales. At some point in his trip to the post office he'd managed to get the two envelopes mixed up (which doesn't surprise me in the slightest now I know him!) - the man from Wales got £2.50 for a book and I got £15.00 for the paper. Being the honest person I am I emailed the buyer to explain what he'd done and got a lovely reply saying, send the £10 with the book and keep the rest, treat someone with the £5 and tell me what you've done.
At the time my friend was having a hard time so I rang her up and off we went to the local pub quiz. 2 pints of lager and entry later and we won!! The prize being 4 free pints and free entry in to the next weeks quiz. I reported back to the ebayer and he replied again saying that I had to stay in touch as I was still playing with his money. Gradually the weeks went on, emails back and forth and, well, I kind of liked him, he was friendly and chatty and seemed genuinely interested in me. It turned out his 30th Birthday was approaching in May, he doesn't celebrate his birthday (long story, his brother was born on the same day but died at 19). Now I hate the thought of not celebrating, especially something like a 30th so I suggested he come down on the train (Durham to Nottingham) to meet me and we go out for a meal (eek!)
The day arrived and I was beyond nervous, he'd never seen a picture of me (I hate pictures of me) and I was convinced he'd be disappointed. His train arrived and I watched him walk up the platform - at which point I was ready to run. I didn't, however, and we spent a lovely day wandering around town. I'd arranged to meet a friend after work (for safety reasons - I also had a friend texting me every hour to make sure I was ok!) so we met up with her and went for dinner, she really liked him too and the evening went on. He missed his last train home and was contemplating a hotel, I (probably rather foolishly) offered him my spare room and he ended up staying 3 nights!
From that point on we spoke on the phone every night, and every weekend we'd take it in turns to visit each other. By August it was clear that we loved each other and I suggested that the only way to see if it was going to work was for us to move in together. I moved up to Durham at the end of Sept, keeping my flat in Nottingham and renting it out 'just in case'. The following November we got engaged and the September after we were married. We now have an 18 month old son and are getting ready to celebrate our 4th wedding anniversary.
The odds of all this happening are so extreme. The chance of him buying my book out of all those on ebay at the time; the chance of me getting the wrong envelope etc. Also I am a Policeman's daughter and would never ever meet a stranger off the internet, so why did I choose to meet Mr Ebay? I have never been promiscuous yet I was bold enough to invite him back after only being with him for 12 hours and then to let him stay the entire weekend! All in all it's confirmed my belief that if something is meant to be it will be and that there is love out there for anyone and probably when you're least expecting to find it....or as my husband says 'always read the small print when buying anything of ebay in case it states comes with wife'!
As an end note I would never advise anyone to meet someone without it being in a very public place, make sure people know where you are at all times, don't worry about looking silly, safety is the most important issue, take a friend if you can and use your intuition.
Can you find love on the Internet? And the answer is simple of course you can.
It started when I was 16 I was browsing the Internet in general and I was searching for Ford Fiesta (I liked this type of car and wanted to research it. I always thought when I pass my test that is the car I want). Anyway I came across a site and it was an "home made site" from a guy who also liked Ford Fiestas with his best friend. He made this site so other Fiesta lovers could go on and pass on comments etc. There was a picture of him on the site and I immediately thought he's nice so I emailed him and asked him about his car. Straight away we hit it off and became good friends, eventually we we're speaking on the phone at all times of the day, emailing and seeing each other at the weekends (we lived 80 miles apart).
After a few months we we're officially dating, again speaking on the phone all the time and seeing each other at weekends. It was great and I soon forgot about his Fiesta. By this time he had another car anyway but his best friend still had his Fiesta and converted it into a Mark 2.
After a year I moved into his home town of Sheffield and we got a little flat together. A year after we moved into our own house, which we have been in for 6 years.
We got married in 2006 and had our little daughter in 2008.
We've been together for 10 years and absolutely happy together. We have a lot planned in our life and I can not wait.
I have known other people close to me to do the same, finding someone on the Internet to find love and they always say you did it and it worked for you I want some of that. They tired and unfortunately 9 times out of 10 it has ended it tears.
Either the person lying about themselves in someway or another so trust is gone from the very first moment you meet them.
You can never tell if the person you are "talking" to is genuine until you meet them and that is the downfall. Anyone can say anything about themselves but if their lying they will always be found out.
Safety is always the foremost important thing when meeting someone for the first time off the Internet. Always making sure someone knows who you're with, where your going etc. If possible take a friend with you.
I am lucky I had a very happy ending and there is a lot more to come from my bubble yet :-)
I first met Phill in September last year. I'd been playing an online multiplayer game for about 3 years up to that point, when I started to get a little tired of always playing with American players - nothing against them, just the timing of activities never seemed to work for me .
So, I asked on the games forums if anyone had a UK linkshell (similar to a guild) they'd be happy for me to join, I got a reply, and that night, I switched servers to play with some UK folks. I made some great friends almost instantly there - it was great that they understood my slang, and they were pretty amusing people to hang out with . Phill (Or Azraelius as he was in the game world) didn't particularly stand out immediately - he was rarely an active player in the banter that would happen all not long within the group .
At the time, I had a boyfriend, Chris . Chris and I had been dating for almost 2 years, and we'd known each other for a long time before that, since we were both 13 in fact. The relationship was difficult - Chris had a drink problem, which despite assurances he would give up, was slowly getting worse . Added to this, he had a back problem which required him to take strong painkillers, and was becoming increasingly depressed and unstable . I'd tried talking to him about it, and issuing ultimatums, but really, I was too soft at that point to take the final step and tell him to get out .
While my real life was getting steadily more stressful and difficult to cope with, I retreated more into my online world and my online friendships. I'd started progressing on my character, and soon I got to the stage where I needed a team behind me to accomplish my goals - one of which was to obtain a certain ring that, for my job, would prove to be a valuable and vital piece of equipment . 3 people volunteered to come help me get this item, which was obtained by killing a particular monster that while not too difficult, was more than I could handle alone . Az was the first to show up , and while we waited for the others , we chatted a little - nothing much, just about my armour . We killed a few monsters too, and when the others arrived, we killed the big one and I got my ring . At this point, he still didn't really register on my radar .
But as time went on, and I spent more and more time in the game, he began to stand out a little , and to be a name I'd recognise in the linkshell list when I looked at it .
He flirted a little, but in these kind of games, people do . I never took it too seriously, and when he asked me if I had msn, I didn't have it, so we left it there .
For about two days, until I got MSN . People had been asking me if I had it for a while, and I decided it might be worth while . I let Az know when I next saw him online, and we chatted there . He asked about my life, and soon I was telling him about the problems I was having with Chris drinking , and lying . I told him how unhappy I was with things, and to give him his credit, he didn't say much, just listened . And that was the best thing he could have done - it felt so much easier to open up about my problems to a relative stranger than to bring them up with people I know .
Perhaps a week after this , things with Chris came to a head . We'd been bickering about his drinking, and I'd eventually told him he needed to do something immediately, or get out of my life . He did something immediately - went out with his friend , 'to walk the dog' and stayed out for hours . It wasn't the first time lately he'd gone out for hours , he'd done it a few days before, and gotten arrested , but this time there was one big difference . I went downstairs to get my card from my wallet, and found he'd stolen all my money, about 60 quid . I also noticed he'd taken his tablets (plenty of them for the back pain ) with him , so I figured he didn't plan on coming back .
My first reaction, after phoning the police, was to run back upstairs and talk to Phill. I already knew what a good listener he was, and again, he proved himself, telling me I deserved better, and offering to hit himself over the head with things to amuse me . This seemed like too good an offer to pass up, and despite being upset and in tears, I agreed .
I'd seen a photo of Phill before - a posey facebook profile photo . Despite adding him as a friend, I'd never really been in touch on facebook, and never looked at more of his photos . This was the first time I really got to see him - and he was lovely . Looking like some kind of overgrown milkybar kid, all blonde hair, blue eyes and glasses, with big furry eyebrows, sitting up cross legged on his bed . I was fascinated by those eyebrows - somehow, he always managed to look baffled, something I found very endearing . And, true to his word, he was soon hitting himself on the head with a fork to amuse me . I remember at that point thinking 'My boyfriend should be trying to make me happy like this.' And at that point, I decided that my boyfriend was not my boyfriend anymore .
The next day, I got a call from my boyfriends friend, the one he'd gone to walk the dog with, telling me my boyfriend was dead, and that it was all my fault, that I'd driven him to it with the nagging about the drink. I spent that day bugging the police and the hospital for information, but all they could tell me was that an unidentified young man had been bought in by ambulance dead of a drug and alcohol overdose . After some 8 hours of panic, I found out that although he had been dead at one point, he had been revived and was in the intensive care unit .
I'll be honest, I felt very little sympathy for him , but, as far as he knew, I was still his girlfriend, so duly trotted off to visit him at the hospital . At that point, I didn't tell him it was over in my mind, but I did a couple of days later, once he was home and somewhat recovered . I told him I needed him to move out, and that I wasn't prepared anymore to wait for 'later' for him to give up . It was now early November, and between us, we agreed he had to be out by february.
Me and Phill continued to talk online,and now by SMS and the occasional phone call . We'd spend hours doing silly online quizzes on OK cupid, most of which showed us as compatible - this was something we were already starting to figure out ourselves though . Everything I liked, he seemed to like too , even our taste in embarrassing anime series, games, and hentai . He was starting to seem like me, but male
Chris actually moved out within a few days of me telling him he had to, and me and Phill set a date for meeting - the 25th of November . In the days leading up to that, we talked and flirted more, often on webcam, staying up til the early hours of of the morning . Despite looking forward to it, I was pretty anxious - what if he didn't like me . Worse, what if I didn't like him ! He had an open return ticket, how was I going to get rid of him if he turned out to be awful?
His mum had doubts too - she actually warned him to be careful in case I was a paedophile . I found that pretty amusing - considering he was 22 years old and a large lad , hardly the most likely candidate for a child abuser .
Luckily he was far from awful - I met him at the bus stop a few minutes after he got off the coach, and despite looking a bit sweatier and more dishevelled , he was basically the same cuddly awesome person I'd been talking to all this time . I'd anticipated feeling awkward in his company (I'm generally awkward with new people) but in fact,we were soon sat next to each other on the sofa, albeit a respectable distance apart, chatting . We both had a problem though - our shyness . Eventually, he had to make the first move and ask me if I fancied him, and ask for a kiss - but once we got going on the kissing, it all moved along naturally . I didn't want to stop - in fact, when he went home 5 days later, I had a rather fetching stubble rash , and was in love . Luckily, he felt the same way!
You'll notice I've skipped a few pertinent details here - suffice it to say, bedroom activity was better than I expected, but beyond that its too personal for sharing.
We've had plenty of visits since, he's been up here half a dozen times, and I've been up to his twice . I've even ended up moving the bed so I can lie down and look at him when I'm sleepy. We've met each others parents, and he continues to be amazing to this day, in multiple different ways . He listens attentively when I talk about my likes, dislikes, and problems (so attentively that one of the first presents he got me was American Chocolate, something I had once mentioned in passing I loved), he's always there at the other end of the computer when I need to talk, he gets on brilliantly with my daughter ( I think because he's a big kid too) and he's gorgeous.
If he goes out, he often calls or sends a text just to let me know he's thinking about me, and I save these texts , always regretting when I have to delete any to make more space .
We have interesting, sometimes heated discussions when we have opposing viewpoints, but however much we disagree, we usuallyy end up laughing about it at the end (except for when I'm deprived of nicotine and tend to take things too seriously).
It's not all perfect - there's a few things about him that bug me sometimes, but these things are far outweighed by all the positive stuff he's bought to my life. And you know, I'm sure I bug him too sometimes . But we talk, and things get worked out.
I may have met my boyfriend in an unconventional way, and we do live too far apart for me to see him as often as I'd like , but despite that, I feel happier than I've felt in years . Apart from the odd day when lack of nicotine gets to me,or when everyday stress wears me out, I never feel lonely, because he's always there for me . And on the rare occasions when he's out, and I don't want to bug him, I can re-read old sms messages or skype conversations, and feel special .
Phill, you're amazing . You really are . You make me feel special and appreciated, and incredibly happy . You're gorgeous, and wonderful, and I love you . Stick around X
I think when people talk about 'love on the internet' they immediately think 'online dating sites', but it could be anything really. From a forum, to a social site like facebook. The answer to the question is a big yes. The guy I love currently I originally met on a forum. I talked to him quite a bit, he asked for my email add and we got to talking from there really. [It wasn't quite love at first, just the beginning of a friendship] So we spoke all the time on MSN nearly everyday during the summer of 2007 and then when September came about we exchanged numbers, but even then I didn't love him. We texted all the time, but then there'd be a two week gap where we wouldn't talk and then he'd call me or text me and we'd text again. So it was a bit on and off and even then I didn't love him. I think it was only about last year April time that my feelings towards him changed, and I knew that I truly liked him [still not love at this point] so whenever he didn't call or text, I'd always get a bit sad and be depressed all day and immediately lighten up when he did eventually call. Anyway at the beginning of this year, I realised that I couldn't talk to him anymore [for reasons of my own] and well it was hard. Previously last year I had also loved another guy, but after I broke up with him, I didn't really think of him often, like I forgot him straight away. But with this guy after I told him I could not talk to him anymore, I just constantly thought about him, had dreams about him, I felt depressed all day and always day dreamt about him. He then contacted me and we spoke like nothing had happened, and I began to feel happy again, but only last week I had told him that I could not talk to him anymore, so I'm back to square one where I'm always constantly thinking about him. I don't think he knows how I feel though [although I'm pretty sure he feels the same way I do]. I have not had the guts to tell him just how much he means to me and I don't think he'll ever know. Story of my life.
Fact is love on the internet can be found. Yeh there's the possiblity that there may be paedophiles out there, but that's where meeting up [and taking a friend with you in a public place] comes in. Obviously you'd need to know the person quite well at first [as in you should have been talking for quite a while before you want to meet up]. Also there's the possiblity that the person could be faking or lying about something or the other. The internet is the internet afterall. You can never be sure about someone's feelings. You can't see their facial expressions so obviously you wouldn't know if they're lying about something, you can't detect things like sarcasm, you don't know whether they're laughing at you and most of all, you don't know whether they already have a girlfriend or whether they're already married.
You should be careful if you're actively trying to search for love on the internet. Love can be found on the internet, yes, but there are sad people out there who unfortunately take the pleasure in this and abuse it.
This is a story about a friend who was looking for love on the internet. I have never personally tried these sites as I don't favour them.
My friend started looking around for sites that were well known a good place to start I guess because you'd hate to use something that wasn't legit!
Anyway, after using the site for a month or so they were constantly bogged down with e-mails from potential lovers. It seems that people using these sites come across as a little desperate, and new users beware! You'll get swamped by e-mails in the first few weeks; you're fresh meat!
After trawling through the e-mails they finally found something that interested them, someone they thought might be good to get to know and see how things progressed. Unfortunately I wasn't the best person to talk to about it, as I don't believe that anything good will come of such a site, however I listened and the two had been talking over the net and finding out more about each other.
It's this point in the whole thing that really annoys me because you are talking to someone you have never met and they could be completely lying about who they are and what they do... I'd rather meet someone in the flesh and then progress with a relationship after talking and meeting up some more.
Anyway, after talking over the net for a few weeks they met up... and thankfully the person who my friend met up with was exactly has they had said. The photo matched at least! I was very wary about the 'meet up' and so went along as a 'passer by'. It all was a bit silly really, but I wanted to make sure my friend was meeting up with the right person. So after they met I got my text saying everything was okay and left them too it. I think this is important in all cases. Make sure someone is close by - maybe in a cafe close to the cinema, or wherever you are meeting - so that if anything isn't quite right you can leave and meet up with them so you aren't alone and vulnerable.
Unfortunately after a few dates things didn't work out, and it's a real shame, but they just didn't hit it off.
On later inspection of this, I don't put the blame on the networking/dating site because actually once they had met up the site had done it's job - to 'connect' people. From then on, it was just like they had met in a club or in a cafe. So from this experience I say why not try them if you want to. I'll never try though, even though my doubts about whether the person on the other end of the wire was being truthful were eradicated. I think it depends greatly on yourself as a person. For some I'm sure it'll work and for others, and in this case, not.
My advice is don't spend the money paying these dating sites, just get out with your friends, go to a club or get out and about and see what happens!
I remember the days when internet dating was looked down upon and people would regularly make jokes about trying to find love on the internet, however those times have long gone and now society has accepted the internet as a genuine way of meeting new and likeminded people.
Although I have never been lucky enough to find love on the internet I have meet many people through the internet in "real life" and have since become good friends with them and I also know of two people who have managed to find love through the net! I am so happy for both them as they are now so much happier than they used to be and I genuinely feel their partners are great honest people.
The first person I know who has found love through the net is actually my cousin who has been my best mate since I was born! We are the same age and since primary school went to the same school, so I know him very well. He managed to find love through a social networking site and I have to say she is a lot nicer than the girls he's been with. They have been together for 5 years and are a so happy together.
The other person is a close friend and she managed to find love after joining a dating site. Even though she met a few guys from the site before finding her real match, she is glad she went through the idiots to find her love!
I really believe there is a chance for everyone to find that special connection through the net! So if you are lonely I would strongly recommend trying to find someone on the net and if you don't I am sure you will meet some great people anyway!
Well I have not managed to find love on the interet but then I reckon my boyfriend would be a bit put out if I did considering we have been in a relationship for a couple of years or more however in the summer I will be attending two marriages that have both come about as a result of people meeting on the internet, one will be between a good friend of mine and the bloke she met through match.com and the other is between my work colleague Tony and a bloke Chris he met on a site called gaydar. What is so strange about that one is that the two actually live within a stone throw of each other in London and did frequent some of the same places but their paths had never crossed until they met online.
It is becomming more and more comon for people to meet online and certainly there is no longer any stigma attached with using a dating agancy like there was probably ten years ago, people are more open and honest about such things.
Fo me the internet has allowed me to catch up on some old friends and included in that number is one former boyfriend but there was never going to be any relationship in that just a catching up of friends, I have managed to attract a couple of stalkers via social networking sites in the days before I knew how to control my privacy arrangements but certainly if I was ever single again I would not totally discount the option of finding love on the internet.