You can find love on the internet even when you're not looking (Have you found love on the internet?)

Member Name: thehonesttruth

Product:	Have you found love on the internet?
Date:	16/06/09 (41 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: -

Disadvantages: -

I first met Phill in September last year. I'd been playing an online multiplayer game for about 3 years up to that point, when I started to get a little tired of always playing with American players - nothing against them, just the timing of activities never seemed to work for me .

So, I asked on the games forums if anyone had a UK linkshell (similar to a guild) they'd be happy for me to join, I got a reply, and that night, I switched servers to play with some UK folks. I made some great friends almost instantly there - it was great that they understood my slang, and they were pretty amusing people to hang out with . Phill (Or Azraelius as he was in the game world) didn't particularly stand out immediately - he was rarely an active player in the banter that would happen all not long within the group .

At the time, I had a boyfriend, Chris . Chris and I had been dating for almost 2 years, and we'd known each other for a long time before that, since we were both 13 in fact. The relationship was difficult - Chris had a drink problem, which despite assurances he would give up, was slowly getting worse . Added to this, he had a back problem which required him to take strong painkillers, and was becoming increasingly depressed and unstable . I'd tried talking to him about it, and issuing ultimatums, but really, I was too soft at that point to take the final step and tell him to get out .

While my real life was getting steadily more stressful and difficult to cope with, I retreated more into my online world and my online friendships. I'd started progressing on my character, and soon I got to the stage where I needed a team behind me to accomplish my goals - one of which was to obtain a certain ring that, for my job, would prove to be a valuable and vital piece of equipment . 3 people volunteered to come help me get this item, which was obtained by killing a particular monster that while not too difficult, was more than I could handle alone . Az was the first to show up , and while we waited for the others , we chatted a little - nothing much, just about my armour . We killed a few monsters too, and when the others arrived, we killed the big one and I got my ring . At this point, he still didn't really register on my radar .

But as time went on, and I spent more and more time in the game, he began to stand out a little , and to be a name I'd recognise in the linkshell list when I looked at it .

He flirted a little, but in these kind of games, people do . I never took it too seriously, and when he asked me if I had msn, I didn't have it, so we left it there .

For about two days, until I got MSN . People had been asking me if I had it for a while, and I decided it might be worth while . I let Az know when I next saw him online, and we chatted there . He asked about my life, and soon I was telling him about the problems I was having with Chris drinking , and lying . I told him how unhappy I was with things, and to give him his credit, he didn't say much, just listened . And that was the best thing he could have done - it felt so much easier to open up about my problems to a relative stranger than to bring them up with people I know .

Perhaps a week after this , things with Chris came to a head . We'd been bickering about his drinking, and I'd eventually told him he needed to do something immediately, or get out of my life . He did something immediately - went out with his friend , 'to walk the dog' and stayed out for hours . It wasn't the first time lately he'd gone out for hours , he'd done it a few days before, and gotten arrested , but this time there was one big difference . I went downstairs to get my card from my wallet, and found he'd stolen all my money, about 60 quid . I also noticed he'd taken his tablets (plenty of them for the back pain ) with him , so I figured he didn't plan on coming back .

My first reaction, after phoning the police, was to run back upstairs and talk to Phill. I already knew what a good listener he was, and again, he proved himself, telling me I deserved better, and offering to hit himself over the head with things to amuse me . This seemed like too good an offer to pass up, and despite being upset and in tears, I agreed .

I'd seen a photo of Phill before - a posey facebook profile photo . Despite adding him as a friend, I'd never really been in touch on facebook, and never looked at more of his photos . This was the first time I really got to see him - and he was lovely . Looking like some kind of overgrown milkybar kid, all blonde hair, blue eyes and glasses, with big furry eyebrows, sitting up cross legged on his bed . I was fascinated by those eyebrows - somehow, he always managed to look baffled, something I found very endearing . And, true to his word, he was soon hitting himself on the head with a fork to amuse me . I remember at that point thinking 'My boyfriend should be trying to make me happy like this.' And at that point, I decided that my boyfriend was not my boyfriend anymore .

The next day, I got a call from my boyfriends friend, the one he'd gone to walk the dog with, telling me my boyfriend was dead, and that it was all my fault, that I'd driven him to it with the nagging about the drink. I spent that day bugging the police and the hospital for information, but all they could tell me was that an unidentified young man had been bought in by ambulance dead of a drug and alcohol overdose . After some 8 hours of panic, I found out that although he had been dead at one point, he had been revived and was in the intensive care unit .

I'll be honest, I felt very little sympathy for him , but, as far as he knew, I was still his girlfriend, so duly trotted off to visit him at the hospital . At that point, I didn't tell him it was over in my mind, but I did a couple of days later, once he was home and somewhat recovered . I told him I needed him to move out, and that I wasn't prepared anymore to wait for 'later' for him to give up . It was now early November, and between us, we agreed he had to be out by february.

Me and Phill continued to talk online,and now by SMS and the occasional phone call . We'd spend hours doing silly online quizzes on OK cupid, most of which showed us as compatible - this was something we were already starting to figure out ourselves though . Everything I liked, he seemed to like too , even our taste in embarrassing anime series, games, and hentai . He was starting to seem like me, but male

Chris actually moved out within a few days of me telling him he had to, and me and Phill set a date for meeting - the 25th of November . In the days leading up to that, we talked and flirted more, often on webcam, staying up til the early hours of of the morning . Despite looking forward to it, I was pretty anxious - what if he didn't like me . Worse, what if I didn't like him ! He had an open return ticket, how was I going to get rid of him if he turned out to be awful?

His mum had doubts too - she actually warned him to be careful in case I was a paedophile . I found that pretty amusing - considering he was 22 years old and a large lad , hardly the most likely candidate for a child abuser .

Luckily he was far from awful - I met him at the bus stop a few minutes after he got off the coach, and despite looking a bit sweatier and more dishevelled , he was basically the same cuddly awesome person I'd been talking to all this time . I'd anticipated feeling awkward in his company (I'm generally awkward with new people) but in fact,we were soon sat next to each other on the sofa, albeit a respectable distance apart, chatting . We both had a problem though - our shyness . Eventually, he had to make the first move and ask me if I fancied him, and ask for a kiss - but once we got going on the kissing, it all moved along naturally . I didn't want to stop - in fact, when he went home 5 days later, I had a rather fetching stubble rash , and was in love . Luckily, he felt the same way!

You'll notice I've skipped a few pertinent details here - suffice it to say, bedroom activity was better than I expected, but beyond that its too personal for sharing.

We've had plenty of visits since, he's been up here half a dozen times, and I've been up to his twice . I've even ended up moving the bed so I can lie down and look at him when I'm sleepy. We've met each others parents, and he continues to be amazing to this day, in multiple different ways . He listens attentively when I talk about my likes, dislikes, and problems (so attentively that one of the first presents he got me was American Chocolate, something I had once mentioned in passing I loved), he's always there at the other end of the computer when I need to talk, he gets on brilliantly with my daughter ( I think because he's a big kid too) and he's gorgeous.

If he goes out, he often calls or sends a text just to let me know he's thinking about me, and I save these texts , always regretting when I have to delete any to make more space .

We have interesting, sometimes heated discussions when we have opposing viewpoints, but however much we disagree, we usuallyy end up laughing about it at the end (except for when I'm deprived of nicotine and tend to take things too seriously).

It's not all perfect - there's a few things about him that bug me sometimes, but these things are far outweighed by all the positive stuff he's bought to my life. And you know, I'm sure I bug him too sometimes . But we talk, and things get worked out.

I may have met my boyfriend in an unconventional way, and we do live too far apart for me to see him as often as I'd like , but despite that, I feel happier than I've felt in years . Apart from the odd day when lack of nicotine gets to me,or when everyday stress wears me out, I never feel lonely, because he's always there for me . And on the rare occasions when he's out, and I don't want to bug him, I can re-read old sms messages or skype conversations, and feel special .

Phill, you're amazing . You really are . You make me feel special and appreciated, and incredibly happy . You're gorgeous, and wonderful, and I love you . Stick around X

Summary: -