| Product: |
How to Discipline Children |
| Date: |
25/09/05 (439 review reads) |
| Rating: |
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Advantages: lots !
Disadvantages: few!
Before I had my children I had very definite ideas on what they would be like. I imagined well-behaved children, a bit like the ones you see on adverts! Oh how different the reality is as any parent knows! I think being a parent of 2 young boys (aged 7 and 3) is wonderful but it’s also the hardest job I can imagine. I think that discipline is really important, as I want my children to be well behaved and accepted wherever they go. Here are my ideas on discipline; I hope it will be helpful to some one!
When my first son was born I was given a lot of advice on how to care for him. I remember being told to get him used to being left to cry for a while otherwise he would learn that crying = being picked up and fed! Well what on earth is wrong with that? When my son cried I always went to him. He had no other way of letting me know he needed me. I believe that for a young baby needs and wants are the same. My son was very small and needed to feed. How awful to be ignored!
I try to have realistic expectations of my children according to their age. It is pointless expecting an 18 month old to behave like an 8 year old! I don’t think there is much point trying to reason with very young children either. I think that it is better to tell them what is going to happen and follow through. E.g.-We are going to put your shoes on now because we need to go and collect your big brother from school. There are things that can be negotiated and things that can’t. E.g.- which book shall we read? This gives the young child some control but in a way they can manage.
There are situations where the risk of a tantrum is high in our family. My 2 love the park like most children and don’t take to kindly to being dragged away! I always give them a warning when its nearly time to go and tell them they can choose 1 more go on something and then we will be leaving. This does work sometimes although I am still working on it! I do always stick to what I say though so 1 more go means just that!
In think that it is important to be a god role model. Children learn from the adults around them. If they see that you are considerate and polite to others then hopefully they will follow your example!
I think it is important to give children the attention and respect they deserve. How many times have you heard that a child is indulging in attention seeking behaviour? Well why not give them attention so they don’t need to behave badly?! I try to include my children in conversation with other adults when it’s appropriate. Listen to your children and get involved in what they do.
I know it’s not always possible but I try not to plan potentially stressful activities for when I know they will be tired or hungry. Shopping is the one that springs to mind here! Although its more time consuming I try to involve them and give them items to get for me. I also let them make choices about which type of apples to buy for example, sometimes this works! However a few months ago I took my 3 year old into the supermarket on route to the park. He was really cross with me as he wanted to get to the park and wasn’t about to be reasonable! Before I could stop him he knocked a large bottle olive oil off the self! I was really embarrassed and left quickly. We didn’t go to the park but drove home. He spent time on out thinking chair!
I have never used physical punishment as not only does the thought of inflicting pain on a child feel wrong to me but also I don’t think it works! We have a thinking chair where the child is made to go and think about what they have done wrong. My older child has to stay there for about 5 minutes until they are able to say sorry and mean it! The younger child stays on the chair for about 3 minutes. This really does work.
Like most parents there are good days and bad. Like all children my children like to test the boundaries-its in the job description! I think boundaries are important and help children to feel safe and loved. Sometimes I lie in bed at night and feel really guilty when I have lost control and shouted or not spent enough time with them. I’m sure I’m not alone in this, but don’t be too hard on yourself. There is always to-morrow!
When they have behaved badly and I have needed to discipline them I always talked to them about what went wrong when things have calmed down. I think it is really important to talk and listen especially in the teenage years.
I love being a parent and want to make a good job of it. I know it won’t be easy and expect there will be some really testing times especially when they reach their teenage years!
Summary: Children need respect and love
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