Consistency is the key! (How to Discipline Children)

Name: missy0303

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Product:	How to Discipline Children
Date:	03/01/06 (618 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: children usually respond well to my discipline tactics

Disadvantages: Some don't!

First of all I’d like to point out that I am by no means the worlds best Mother or childcare student. I am not perfect and don’t always follow my own advice even when I do try to. I am learning every day too.

I have a son aged 7 and a half and a daughter aged 5, and neither is the perfect child, but does that perfect child exist? I think not!

We are not given an intensive course in raising children and so we will all make mistakes, but please remember that you are not alone, For every mistake you have made another million mothers have made before you, and another million will make in future!

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Mistakes I’ve made with my children…..

~ Arguing with them…..have you ever had an argument with a 5 year old?
~ Shouting at them…..I am guilty of thinking I am always right and its my way or the highway…..but since doing my childcare course I realise it is more important to listen to what they have to say as something silly could be bothering them and causing them to act the way they do!
~ Expecting too much!
~ Not being consistent. I used to give in just for an easy life.

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Here is the way I now deal with the problems that arise with my own children.

I have a points system in operation in my house and it works!

7 points = a small treat. (up to value of £1)
14 points = a medium treat (up to value of £2)
21+ points a large treat (up to value of £3)

You can change the amounts or use other forms of treats if you want to.
We even save up our treats for one big treat at the end of the month!

I make a weekly chart for each of my children on a wipe clean board (a blackboard will work too) You can also use a calendar if you like.

Each day of the week I make sure there is a big enough space to write at least one expectation I have of the child or one achievement.

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This weeks chart so far reads:

Kieron
~Monday – Must tidy all my toys away (1point) and be nice to sister (1 point) also earned 1 Extra point for helping mum with dishes.
~Tuesday – Must take laundry downstairs for mum (1 point) also earned 1 extra point for being extra kind to his Gran.

Shaunna
Monday – Must tidy all my toys away (1/2 point) and be nice to brother (1 point)
Tuesday – Must do what I am told by mum (0 points) and remember to wash hands after toilet (1 point) 1 extra point for helping Kieron with laundry.

Now Kieron has earned himself 5 points and Shaunna only 3½ …..

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This is just an example of how achievable the points can be for the child… by focusing on the good things and ignoring the bad things that they do you can enforce the good. The key word is consistency though.

I have only been doing this chart for about 3 weeks now and have found it is working well so far. I give the points to my children on a Saturday morning and last week, Kieron managed to get 18 points which is probably something to do with it being Christmas week as this is the highest he has achieved yet lol.
Shaunna also managed 15 points so she done better than normal too.
So both get a reward up to the value of £2 each and both have decided to save their rewards this month until end of January. They hope to have enough for a visit to the cinema!

You can also encourage other family members to give them points too instead of sweets? My mum is always buying my children sweets and I have started asking her to award them points instead….and giving me the money to put aside that she would have used to buy the sweets. These extra points will be in addition to their weekly or monthly award too.

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Now what do I do when the children point blank refuse to do what they are told?

Well I first of all tell them I am not happy with the behaviour, I then tell them what they could do to change that and what will happen if they don’t….ie I will put a red spot on the chart.
If they are still misbehaving I carry out my threat by using a red marker and putting a red spot on the day of the behaviour. (If it happens away from home I write it on a piece of paper with their name so they will remember)

What is the significance of the red spot? Well for every red spot they get, it will cancel out a point….so this means having to work harder to get more! In the first week I done this chart Shaunna had more red spots than points so she ended up with no treat….She learned very quickly!

Last week there were only 3 red spots over the 2 charts!

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This simple but effective chart will work but only if it is explained well to the child.

I would only recommend this approach to disciplining your child from about the age of 4 and upwards.

The main thing to remember is always be consistent with any disciplining, punishment or rewarding, as if you don’t the child will be confused, and that is where the problems start.

I now don’t feel the need to argue with my children, shout at them or lose control as much as I used to, I feel less stressed with them too.

I must add as a footnote too, The treats I give them as rewards were treats/pocket money they used to get anyway, but now they have to earn them…I am not out of pocket in any way!

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Thanks for reading
Michelle x

Summary: My ways of dealing with children who aren't behaving as well as i want them to.