How to Discipline children - Positive Parenting (How to Discipline Children)

Name: jenny967

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Product:	How to Discipline Children
Date:	21.12.07 (258 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Less moaning for parents

Disadvantages: none

I have three young children, two sons and one daughter, they are aged 9 years (son), 7 years (daughter) and 6 years (son) and through the years they have kept myself and my husband on our toes in one way or another with their behaviour.

Behaviour

We get the usual everyday stuff like, tantrums, laughter, tears, arguments over the silliest things, like all kids of their age group they just push and push and at one stage all we did was argue, with this going on constantly it does tend to get you down,

Smacking

I know smacking is`nt the answer, but at one point I did give them a smack, (when I say a smack I mean a tap on the back off the hand,) however I realised this was`nt the answer as it did`nt make a difference. Although it did`nt do me any harm when I was younger.

Parenting Course

So I done a parenting course through the N.S.P.C.C which was recommended through the school, the course lasted 11 weeks. A member of the N.S.P.C.C came out to the school and we would discuss the best ways to deal with behaviour, they give me a lot of ideas to work with, to see which would be best suited to us and our kids.

Ideas

Positive Parenting - Is basically praise the good behaviour and ignore the bad behaviour (were possible), because kids want attention weather its good or bad.

1 - 2 - 3 Magic - Basically this was to teach us simple, effective ways to manage the behaviour, first of all the 1 - 2 - 3 is for STOP behaviours like arguing, fighting, whining, yelling and tantrums, etc. so when the child is misbehaving, you hold up one finger and say thats one, if the behaviour continues then you hold up two figers and say thats two and if it still continues you say thats three, go to the corner (or your chosen spot) and totally ignore anything the child says or does, however this can be hard as we got called all sorts of names, spitting, shouting and banging on the doors, anything to be annoying, they stay there for 1 minute for each year of their life, so if the child is 5 he/she stays there for 5 minutes.

Chart System - This is to reward the good behaviour, the chart is separated into three sections, morning, afternoon and evening and each time the child is good he/she gets a happy face and if he/she gets three happy faces in one day then they get a small treat, this could be a biscuit or extra pocket money, it does`nt have to cost a fortune and at the end of the week they could get another treat like swimming or going to the park or even the cinema, this way they see that they are being rewarded for their good behaviour, so they want to be good.

Other things we were advised

Do not hold grudges after the behaviour has been dealt with, dont go on about it - it`s over.

Needless to say give plenty of hugs, kisses and plenty of praise.

Trying the chart system and the 1 - 2 - 3 magic

So we give these ideas a try and found that the chart system works for our youngest son whereas the 1 - 2 - 3 magic works for our eldest son, obviously no kids are the same so where one punishment works for one child it maybe wont work for another.


Only for the school recommending this parenting course, we would all still be arguing, but now we are a lot happier, the kids are no angels but we deal with their behaviour in a calmer way rather than shouting and fighting with them. These ideas really helped us and maybe someone else will find them useful too.

Thanks for reading

Summary: My kids are not angels, but I can deal with their behaviour in a reasonable way