Just sanctioned bullying (How to Discipline Children)

Name: 21stcenturyfox

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Product:	How to Discipline Children
Date:	11/06/02 (121 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: quick fix solution

Disadvantages: creates resentment, promotes bad message, see op

I am a mum but a new one, I thought I'd better clear that up so people know what angle I'm coming from. I don't agree with smacking unless in the classic "hand nearing the fire is slapped back" kind of situation, which is really just common sense, but I do realise that sometimes it may seem the only viable option. Perhaps if smacking is to be outlawed more advice should be given on alternative punishments, ones with the same immediacy as a smack. I will admit that although I am against smacking (will go into why in a minute) I know I'm not alone in wanting a little bit of advice as to how to discipline more, um, humanely. It is going to be difficult to convince people that they should not smack their children, while we hear constantly about the problem's undisciplined children cause!!

I feel that smacking, and I use that as a catch-all term for all force used as punishment, doesn't explain right and wrong to a child. It creates a maze of "things I know lead to a painful punishment" with new things being added all the time and not "why I shouldn't do bad things". I also feel that the message is potentially damaging - if someone does something that you don't like you are entitled to hurt them and that is enough to solve a problem. That bigger people are licensed to use their physical advantage over smaller, more vulnerable people. Clearly we do not want a world full of people who use quick fix violent solutions.

Violent discipline has been prevalent throughout history, children have always misbehaved, the notion that the new generation is one of wild hoodlums with no sense of discipline due to a lack of smacking is nonsense. In a straw poll amongst friends (bearing in mind I am in my early twenties I am only just past the young offenders tag age!) we were all smacked, so smacking does still go on. I would go on to say that, certainly in my case, it helped create a them and us f
eeling between me and my parents, that they would consider hurting me rather than sitting me down and explaining things to me, still baffles me. I do not want that alienation from my children anymore than I want them running wild, I would like to strike a balance, where respect is the key but consistent boundaries are maintained and I'm sure I will make some mistakes along the way but this is certainly my goal and I really don't think smacking is the path to it.

Despite being against smacking I am not sure that purely outlawing it will have a positive effect. It would be a gross shame if otherwise good parents were branded criminals simply because they used methods that they had known as children and seemed the only viable option. Child abuse is illegal and yet it hasn't been iradicated. As with all 'social problems' I believe that better support and information is the key and the law is notoriously inept at dishing both of those out!

Summary: