Doz en Donuts (How To Write A Good Book Review)

Member Name: 1st2thebar

Product:	How To Write A Good Book Review
Date:	18/08/09 (227 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Ploy to hunt out the churners

Disadvantages: May not have the fire-power to eradicate them completely

How to write a good book review
Only 1,404 words long
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Doz en Donuts
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I would like to take this opportunity to thank all those writers to have written so many tidy reviews that have just fallen short of me falling asleep. So now I've learnt something here; don't read if prone to sleepiness. I blame the 15 a day review churners. The same churners who excel in posting the minimum of word requirement, which brings ones head swaying so close to the key-board that when my eyes open the letter 'Y' startles me. It is like as if any word volume of excess of 160 words will maim the churner for life. It does get to me - My boredom consumes my brain activity; one yawn sends an involuntary message to my jaw to continue yawning until an interesting piece grabs my attention. - Hands- up if your yawning. - The item which takes me away from the monotonous dribble that swans around the empty headed review churner; is usually a 'seplling mistick'. - I've then convulsed into a sniggering frenzy that leaves me with a numb head then I wondered what I was amused over.

The tendency to drift on in this subject discussion would inevitably bring home what I've experienced many times, if you haven't popped off already. The most important part of 'how to write a good book review' is to have a strong reaction to a particular book, personally, I find stark offensively none riveting titles easier to take a stance to and squeeze in some sublime balances into the discussion that is in comparison an non entity; I know my weaknesses. I hedge towards a verbal rant that has spiralled off out of the claws of a crown worthy piece. It takes a vibrant and colourful writer to successfully do all the above and still come out smelling of roses while posting the finished article. It is vital to throw in some googlies into the fore as the reader wants to be expanded further into the characters and sent on a journey, without outlaying the plot or throw in some critical pieces that is the punch-line to the author's narrative. Books are about the Author to me as is the Director to a film, and that requires detailed attention while shoving in your two pennies worth. The characters are the tools which the Author plays with and manipulates over. Imagination and surreal pointers is imperative while exploiting and dissecting the Author's tools.

You cannot just state that you expressed a joy in reading the wonderful 300 page authors paradox of a time long, long ago. It is another life-line and that has to be born to make it come alive in a book review especially when you read online 'in from the cold' scenario; without the dickens what the book is originally about. Bring home your own golden words which will in turn inflict a fascination to your own audience; so the review has to stand out individually away from the actual material it has come from. Stalking the internet, sampling other book reviews will make to format your own style and stance sometimes. I try to stem shear emotions from book reading and while reviewing the items I express what I felt at some part of the review, by using similar feeling analogies that you may find amusing or to some can be a tangent or a mission that evolves around the whole book revision, which is pretty much carries hard-line political undertones. The tangents are related but sometimes I nail the emotion by the analogy but members have questioned my own tongue and beliefs as it does float above their heads. There is nothing wrong with that especially if the book review is in depth. - I'm not pretending to be a John Updike, who would systematically transform the reader into a fest of urban or city environments at a whim; as his audience allows without any stance to be taken or even mind seduced into his realm of thinking.

Writing shouldn't be like wearing slacks on a nudist beech; but a true validation of what emotions truly exist with the writer rhetoric and analogies. I for one enjoy unquestionable understanding of sublime writers who relish the chance of reviewing outlandishly boring books which to me shows an extraordinary use of what either 'love' or 'hate' is explored to abnormal levels. Asking yourself why you like a book sometimes isn't enough when you touch on the Author's background and native tongue to the fact that he or she may have a speech impediment, from being locked in a cupboard at any early age, because the adults wanting some quiet time. Expression is vital while book reviewing. You cannot expect your audience to re-live your experiences by reading it, by you stating it was the best ever book, you've read to date. Far too many nomads have written cheap sentences. It doesn't bring home any of the intensity of the script. Your falling short and doing know favours to the Author by publishing second rate dialogue to the masses. You wouldn't eat a stiff 8 day old donut, so don't feed your readers absolute stiff-board under nourished dribble that then gets criticised, which in turn gets the writers back-up. Other churner bites the dust. Dooyoo should reward quality but as Dooyoo member 'SusanLesley' stated on an online forum the Dooyoo community surprisingly still rewards churners. If, you sacrifice the quality of the review by off loading utter nonsense then expect the tide of poor ratings followed by discrediting remarks.

- I hasten to add that the lesser the number of delinquent mass churners there are, the more rewards the Dooyoo community will infiltrate within time. The biggest sector at the member's disposal is the vast book section.

- I'm no extravaganza writer with mega loads of book reviews under my hefty belt filled with ultra knowledgeable facts to nail that sublime book review blue-print. Book reviewing is liquid; by putting a format that is stale and is completely mundane, is not the way to run the gauntlet, snarling at the lions as you pass, simultaneously ripping your leather shorts baring your glistening cheeks, to the audience of Live at the Palladium with Jimmy Tarbuck, with special guest being George Michael. Your whole Dooyoo experience would be tainted, just because you paid no attention to what 1st2thebar had to say. - Churner's book reviewing experiences here on the site is pretty short-lived but it drags the community performance down a notch.

Be wary that what you think is funny won't be funny to others. Instead of saying the special guest being George Michael, I may get more of a positive slow hand clap if the audience in unison said 'I should of gone to spec-savers'. Wait for applause to die down - Whatever is said it is all in the approach and relevance. Do not get tied up to the mundane bland shelling of monotonous letter punching on the keyboard saying the same rigmarole per book review content. In my experience it helps to have controversial views with a hint of relevant fact that carries enough weight to make the book review viable. This is where the Author can take on another rhetorical part by identifying reasons for the Author's biasness to particular trends. Exposing ball-breaking facts with irony is a good piece of ingredient to add for any character, location and social analysis. The idea of not having a bit of lemon juice in a chilli-con carne, is somewhat frightening as it makes such a mammoth difference to the dish. Reviews, well book reviews need accustom delicate tones to draw the reader in. Sadly, so many fail to do this. Along with poor grammatical phrases and laughable seplling the 'Do's and Don'ts' of a good book review so often is viewed by the reader and rated as 'Doz en Donuts'.

Read 1st2thebar's reviews and don't be one of the 'Dozen Donuts'; that roam the Dooyoo community 'Very Useful' button bashing; then get ratty when a 'Useful' or a heaven forbid a 'Somewhat Useful' rating is chosen for the rather shallow and poor excuse of a review these no gooders publish. We will hunt them down in dirt-holes, rabbit burrows and single-bedded bed-sits in Barnstable, till the only churning they will do is cheese for their local dairy farmer.

Copyright - 08 -2009 - 1st2thebar

Summary: - Guide to writing a good book review - Apparently