Runs runs runs (Indian National Cricket Team)

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Product:	Indian National Cricket Team
Date:	29/08/01 (3 review reads)
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Advantages: Runs

Disadvantages: The Runs, 0-2 defeat!

Hot, steamy and the air full of exotic spice aromas, and that’s just the bogs in the Bombay Hilton. Yes it’s the sub continent tour that every senior England player will avoid like Michael Barrymore at the world swimming championships.
Athurton has decided to resign to avoid the hard thought runs on and off the dusty pitches. Stewart doesn’t want to run into his bookie or the Delhi police whilst Gough has suddenly become conveniently knackered after his woeful Ashes bottle job against the mighty OZ.
Even a three test match ban is bearable to the toughest patriot to avoid the chaos and poverty that is India.

Ian Botham said he wouldn’t wish Pakistan on his mother-in-law. Well if that’s the case then I wouldn’t wish India on my ex!.It may be mystical and spiritual beyond our wildest dreams to see and breath. But most of the population cant wait to ship out and live in the North West of England.Doesn’t sound to enticing to me if they are that desperate.

Well the best team in the world have never won their in thirty years so we can expect a similar result to the three nil hiding in the mid nineties for us. They bat down to their follicles in Tendulkar, Laxman, Ganguly and Dravid.Im sure another wristy teen magician is also about to be revealed to England’s shot seamers caked in sweat and worse.

My squad would be…
Trescothick…He looks genuine Test class and ready to move England on to an eventual Ashes victory.

Vaughn…Again this guy is the business and we missed him against Australia.Surely the new Atherton in patience and temperament.

Butcher…Well he took his chance and scored a brilliant hundred against a lazy OZ side of the gas. He still struggles with spin though and he will be facing a ton of it. Not convinced on this guy with a test average of 29.

Thorpe…. Again another class act that could have pushed us towards parity in
the Ashes push over. He’s brilliant on every shop and has courage that most lack. Basically he’s world class and will make a difference.

Ramprakash…..Hummmm, let’s hope that his hundred was cathartic and he will go on to score more big scores. That was only his second hundred in 80 inings!,both against Australia.Hes not the best at spin yet and will suffer close examination here.

Afzaal…..Well he has a test class ego and made a good fifty this week on an even better wicket. I like players who want it and have the gaul to say it.I reckon he might just make it.This is the tour to find out and boy do we need a middle order bat.

Hegg…The best batting keeper around in a poor Lancashire side this year. He’s going to get runs against spin and can read his teammates Mulilitheran magic just these days. Croft shouldn’t prove as testing.

Nixon…. He was picked along with Hegg as number two to Stewart over the last three years. He should be the number two for the job and bats pretty well if Foster doesn’t get the bias university selection nonsense.

Croft…. Apparently he’s a tweaker of some guile, but I have yet to see him spin a ball. He’s picked more for his batting and should prove useful in that if not for his bowling. But who else is there!.

Tuffnell…. Who else is there, well no one that’s why they have picked the cat. He’s way passed his best and looked poor at the Oval Test.But you never know!,well you do as he does not tour well,especially in the sub continent.
Seen the Elephants, done the poverty was his famous quote of India.

Caddick…. Well you have to take him to keep the end up. He won’t like it here at all and won’t prosper much. But he isn’t good enough to do a Goughy dodge and will have to endure a month or two of the Bangalore boogie.

Tudor…They have to stick with h
im or we will never develop talent for the future. McGrath was poor in his first test and took seven to get a Michelle (5-for). He has every thing we need in a cricketer and shouldn’t be dumped like the Holioakes.

Bicknell (M)…He has slogged his guts out in the championship over the years and deserves a chance at test level. He has all the credentials in that he can swing the ball and remove any opener in the championship early on. He’s also a Surrey man, which counts for a lot these days.

Hoggard…..If he is fit he should go and im sure he will show some courage and pace for his country.

Giles…If he is fit he should also go as he bowled well in the sub continent on the last two tours. He can bat well down the middle order and like Croft can stick around like a limpet.


Ok i have just heard the draw by Agers on Radio Five and they have cut Tuffers and included the little known 6ft 4 Mat Dawson from Yorkshire.He has just finished his studies and was the first university graduate to play for York’s since Steven Coverdale in 1972!.Hes untried but his height did get him wickets that powered them to the championship.
Yorkshire born, Yorkshire bread. Strong of arm, weak of head. As they say in the southern shires may not be the case this year.
Another erudite young cricketer picked over experience is James Foster of Essex.Hes a fellow Durham student from the Captains College and has been streamlined to say the least. He did have an A-Tour so he’s not as green as Dawson.Still Nixon is cack anyway.

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