The patter of tiny feet (IVF)

Member Name: Krystal

Product:	IVF
Date:	29/03/01 (403 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: see text

Disadvantages: the cost

I stared at the pregnancy testing kit, willing a blue line to appear in the window. I was sure, so sure this time that I must be pregnant. But no, I was not. I burst into tears of frustration. Alone in the bathroom, behind a closed door, I had just used a pregnancy testing kit for the umpteenth time.

I was 27 years old, had been married for 6 years, and my husband and I had been trying to start a family for the past 6 months. Becoming pregnant was something that I had always assumed was the most natural thing in the world, and as soon as we stopped using contraception I was sure it would happen almost immediately.

But it did not. Month after month passed and each time I got my period I would cry as if my heart would break. I thought that I must have done something wrong, that I was in some way a bad person because I couldn't have a baby.

About 18 months went by, during which time we didn't tell anyone that we were trying for a baby. All around us friends and family were having babies, and although I was pleased for them I don't mind admitting I was as jealous as hell. We had tried all the usual self-help methods by now, I had been taking my temperature to try and pinpoint when I was ovulating, and my husband wore loose boxer shorts and cut out all alcohol. Nothing worked so we then decided to go to the doctor to see if she could find out why we couldn't conceive. My husband had to produce a "sample", which was sent to the hospital and pronounced normal, so that was one hurdle out of the way. I had an internal examination and the doctor said she could definitely feel something there, probably a cyst.

I was referred to see a consultant gynaecologist at a local hospital. Fortunately my husband has private medical insurance which covers me as well, so I was able to be seen quickly. First of all I had to have an internal scan, which was uncomfortable and a bit embarrassing. The consultant was very nice though
and explained that I didn't have a cyst as my doctor thought, in fact it was a fibroid (benign growth in the womb). It was a bit larger than a golf ball, and he told me that this could be the reason I wasn't conceiving. If fibroids are large enough they can sometimes stop an embryo implanting in the uterus.

I then had to have an operation under general anaesthetic to examine my womb and fallopian tubes. Blue dye was passed through the tubes to see if they were clear; fortunately they were. The consultant suggested a 6 month course of a fertility drug called Clomid, after which I was to come back and see him if I wasn't pregnant. I was back again after 6 months, still not having conceived and more depressed and desparate than ever.

We discussed the next step with the consultant, who felt that IVF was the next logical step as I wasn't getting any younger (!) He promised that a colleague would contact us soon, and with that we left the hospital feeling a little happier knowing that we were in the hands of experts. Although the private medical insurance covered the tests and operation, it didn't cover the IVF treatment itself. My husband and I didn't discuss the cost in detail, we just knew we'd find the money from somewhere.

We had a holiday in Jersey booked for the following week, and we talked a lot as we walked along the beaches. I said that it wasn't the end of the world if we couldn't have a baby (trying to convince myself). My husband didn't say a lot, I knew that he wanted a family but I wondered if he could possibly understand the physical need that I had to have a baby. By now it was occupying most of my waking thoughts.

When we arrived home from our holiday there was a letter waiting for us from my gynaecologist's colleague inviting us to an appointment. I am happy to report that we never went to see him as I was already pregnant! I don't know why it should have happened natur
ally after all that time, maybe it was something to do with the operation that kick-started my system. I shall never know for sure.

When I held my baby boy in my arms 9 months later, I couldn't put my feelings into words. I had something at last that I though I would never have, and I felt so lucky. I wasn't a failure, or infertile as I'd believed, and I felt truly thankful.

When my son was a year old we decided to try for another baby, thinking that we were fortunate to have one child, and another would be a bonus. One month later I was pregant with our daughter!

So my story has a happy ending, and I was fortunate enough not to need the miracle that is IVF. But there are many couples out there who would otherwise remain childless but for one of man's most wonderful discoveries. You cannot put a price on the joy children bring, I just wish it were more widely available so that more couples could have someone to call them Mummy and Daddy.

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