I Did - And I Still Do (Marriage - Is it outdated?)

Member Name:

Product:	Marriage - Is it outdated?
Date:	06/08/01 (10 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: ., ., .

Disadvantages: ., ., .

I got hitched nearly nine years ago, jeez is it that long already? I was happy that day, it's a cliché I know, but it was the happiest day of my life.

I didn't *need* to get married, it wasn't a religious or social thing. We had lived together for a while beforehand and for all intents and purposes were a 'proper' couple anyway. Nothing changed after the wedding day, we were the same two people sharing the same feelings for each other.

Why bother at all then? Well for me it was a logical step. There is only so many times you can tell someone how much you love them, only so much you can do to show it, marriage for me was just the last in those steps. It was just the final way of saying "I really do love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you". I didn't need to do it, we didn't need to do it, but it just felt right for us at the time.

I'm happy being married. I was happy to take my husbands name. I was happy to announce to the world that we would be together forever. I didn't care about the bit of paper or the legal implications, it was just about togetherness.

Was it a social event? As it happened it was. I had a big church wedding, well over 100 at the daytime thing and around 400 in total at the evening reception. It didn't matter to me though, I would have been just as happy whatever form the day had taken. I would have gone quietly to a registry office, or sneaked off abroad and not told anyone until after the deed was done. I didn't have a big wedding for me, I had it for those around me. I didn't choose a pretentious Country Club or snobby hotel, I had the reception in a social club. Somewhere that people could be at ease and have a good time (and somewhere with cheap swally!!).

My mum was proud that day as I walked up the aisle looking like a fairytale princess, the smile on her face and the tears of happiness in her eyes made all the arrangemen
ts and expense worthwhile. The rest of them had a really good time too, people still tell me it was the best wedding they have been to, and I'm glad I could have provided that day for them.

If I were to re-live my life I would do the same again when it comes to my relationship. I have found a soul-mate, the one true love of my life. I know we will be together until the end, so why not 'cement' the relationship by getting married?

That was my decision though, and for other people it might not be right, different strokes for different folks and all that. Others may think that there is no real point, and for them they are probably correct. Perhaps in the past there was a bit of a stigma attached to unmarried couples, particularly if they lived together and/or had children. That is no longer the case though. These days people don't bat an eyelid when told someone is 'living in sin' or have had a child out of wedlock. If marriage isn't right for them then basically why bother?

One thing that does continually confuse me though is people who get married more than once. Perhaps I should elaborate on that and say 'people who get married again after a failed marriage'. I don't really understand why anyone would want to do that. The whole 'until death do us part' thing is rendered somewhat meaningless after the first non-death related parting, so why bother saying it all again?

Religion too plays very little part in it all for me. I'm an RC and so is my husband, so the Catholic Church had no problems with marrying us. It starts to get confusing though when dealing with mixed-religion marriages. Some catholic priests will allow mixed marriages and some won't. Some will give communion to divorcees and some won't. It seems to me that if 'they' can't make up their minds on these issues then 'we' shouldn't worry too much about it either. I can't speak for o
ther religions because I don't know enough about them, but the Catholic Church's stance on it all is confusing to say the least.

I don't think marriage is outdated at all, but neither is it essential. For me it is all about people getting the most of their time together, and if marriage plays a part in that then that is great. There are no real 'benefits' to be gained by being married now, such as tax incentives etc., and that's the way it should be. People should get married basically because they want to, not because it makes financial sense to do so.

Summary: