Our wedding didn't cost a fortune but it was a lovely day! (Members Guide to Planning your Wedding)

Member Name: SusanLesley

Product:	Members Guide to Planning your Wedding
Date:	28/07/09 (185 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Dad coped, everything went well

Disadvantages: It was the last time I saw dad at home

The other day I noticed the category about planning your wedding and i thought I would tell you how we planned ours which took place four years ago. Hopefully there may be something to help you in either doing what we did or even avoiding what we did!

The first thing that you need to know is that, at the time, my father was in the latter stages of Alzheimer's Disease and my mother was in the earlier stages of Vascular Dementia. They both lived with us and I was their full time carer. This did affect some of our choices. My partner was working in Glasgow at the time so the day to day things were sorted by me and things that needed both of us had to be sorted during the weekends that he came home.

The total cost of the wedding including the honeymoon and some extras was around the £6,000 mark and we went to a four star hotel in the Lake District for a week for our honeymoon! I will go through each of our choices, roughly in the order they were addressed and explain why they were made and how much they cost.

The Church - £267.73

As I had been married and divorced twice before I didn't expect to be allowed to marry in church. The first thing we did was to visit our local Methodist church in the centre of Llandudno and speak to the minister there. He was SO kind and agreed to marry us; when I asked him why he said that he wasn't concerned with my past only my future. I was so happy - getting married in church was very important to me. We booked the date - 16th April 2005 - and chose our hymns - Love Divine and How Great Thou Art of you're interested! The church didn't have a choir or bells so they were never an option but we did book the organist. We also had to pay £17.63 for the licence to use a video recorder on the day.

The Marriage Licence - £60

The next thing to do was to go the registry office and order the marriage licence so that we would legally be allowed to marry!

The Reception - £685.20

Now we had our date the next thing was to book our reception for which we went to the four star hotel St George's on the promenade at Llandudno. This would mean that guests could stay there if they wanted to and also it was within walking distance of the church.

We wanted a lunchtime meal for 22 people plus welcome drinks, wine and champagne. We chose to have a small reception so that dad wouldn't feel too intimidated by it all. We organised sherry or soft drinks to greet our guests, a three course lunch with as much wine as anyone wanted and champagne for the toast.

Accommodation - £945

When booking the reception we also booked some accommodation. We decided that just my sister and her partner would stay at our house as we thought a houseful of guests would be too much for us to organise and for dad to cope with. We decided that we would pay for the two bridesmaids and their parents, Dave's mom and the Best Man and we booked the bridal suite for the night for us too.

Harpist - £140

Dave has always loved harp music so we decided to have a harpist to play as our guests arrived for the reception and while we ate our meal. It turned out to be a really nice touch.

Dresses - £539.50

At the time of our wedding there was only one bridal shop in Llandudno so that was where I had to get my dress from! A friend did offer to take me to Chester to have a look but I couldn't really leave mom and dad on their own for that long and I would have had to return for fittings so it just wasn't a possibility.

Anyway I went to the shop and since I have been married before and I was 50 years old I decided that a big white dress wasn't appropriate so I chose a bridesmaid's dress in gold with a little jacket and I wore a tiara on my head. (Total - £331.50)

As we have moved to Llandudno from the Midlands most of our guests were miles away as were our two bridesmaids. One was my Goddaughter, Rosie, and the other was Dave's niece, Beth both of whom were about 12 at the time. I asked the two moms if they would mind looking for bridesmaids' dresses and they agreed. I wanted them to be in deep red but apart from that I left it in their hands. As it happens they couldn't find anything they all liked so Jan, Rosie's mom, made them both. She made a fantastic job of them and they were almost the same design as mine so that was wonderful. (Total - £208)

Stationery - £184.45

I chose stationery from a company online and ordered invitations for the lunch and the evening reception at home together with reply cards and envelopes and I ordered them in gold to match my dress. I also ordered place cards and orders of service all to match.

Rings - £295

We returned to the jewellers in town where we had bought my engagement ring to get our wedding rings and that's about all I need to say on that point!

The Cars - £405

This was one of our more extravagant items as we decided to have a vintage Rolls Royce for us and a second modern Rolls Royce for the bridesmaids. As the church was within walking distance of the St George's hotel we asked to be driven around the base of the Great Orme on our way to the reception. As it happens it was a bit cool but we really enjoyed it!

Flowers - £634

Again this was an extravagance as we all love flowers so I wanted lots! I was advised to go to a florist in Craig-y-Don just out of the centre of Llandudno and he was amazing. I wanted a long bouquet like brides of my mother's age would have had and posies for the two bridesmaids plus corsages for the moms and buttonholes for the men. He showed us lots of photographs and we gave him colour swatches and chose favourite flowers and left it to him. We also ordered an arrangement for each of the windowsills in the church so that they could be there for the Sunday services. He also did small arrangements for the tables at the reception.

I will never forget the flowers arriving on the morning of the wedding - it was a good job I hadn't put my make up on as they were so beautiful I cried! Incidentally I didn't throw my bouquet - I took it on honeymoon with me! We also had arrangements for the two moms and they turned out to be huge - and gorgeous!

The Cake - £240

Now things start to get a bit unusual! We went to order the cake and again looked at lots of photographs, many of which showed cakes with flowers on them. I asked whether it would be up to me to buy the flowers - yes I know now! I was amazed to find that they were all made from sugar! Anyway we ordered a three tier cake with flowers on to match my bouquet and a pair of goats on the top tier. Yes, you did read that correctly! We both loved the goats on the Great Orme so Dave suggested that we had goats on the cake rather than the more traditional bride and groom. They were sitting back on their haunches with the male goat wearing a top hat and the female one eating her bouquet! We didn't actually see the cake until the actual day when we got to the reception - we were thrilled with it and I still have the flowers and the goats!

Photographer - £75

We decided not to have a professional photographer as we thought it would be too much for dad to stand around whilst photographs were taken so our best man organised some traditional shots which he loaded onto discs for us and everyone took lots of snaps. We provided disposable cameras for everyone and got some more shots that way. I must admit whilst we had some decent photographs we never did get round to putting together an album so in retrospect I think I regret not having a photographer although maybe it was the best decision under the circumstances. A friend also did an amateur video for us and that turned out well too. The cost represents the cameras, developing and the discs.

Decorations - £99.03

We decided to have a buffet in the evening back at our house so we bought lots of helium balloons, streamers and gold bows to decorate the staircase, hall and downstairs rooms. We spent almost all of the day before the wedding doing the decorations!

The Buffet - £130.76

The cost here only represents the plates, serviettes, glasses and the drinks for the evening as my sister and her partner provided the most amazing buffet for us as our wedding present.

Gifts - £55.66

We bought gifts for the best man, bridesmaids, Jan for making the dresses and Helen and Richard for doing the buffet and we presented these with thanks at the reception.

Honeymoon - £1,183.35

I can't quite remember where in the scheme of things we booked the honeymoon but we went to the Fayrer Garden House Hotel in the Lake District (I have written a review) and it was the most wonderful hotel we have ever visited, We have been back a few times since and took Dave's mom there this year for her 80th birthday.

So that's it - the grand total came to £5,902.52 - not bad huh?

The whole day and the honeymoon all went really well. Dad seemed almost normal for most of the day even telling me how lovely I looked and giving me one of his trademark winks whilst we were signing the register. He lasted until about 8pm and he got a bit panicky so we took him to the local clinic where he went for respite. They had kept an emergency bed for him just in case he couldn't cope with the day. He was dying to get there so he could tell them about the day, although I don't know how much sense he made, bless him! He was in hospital when we returned from honeymoon and he died on July 10th so we were so glad that he was at our wedding with us.

I hope that this has been an entertaining, if a bit lengthy, read and that it might be helpful for any of you trying to organise a wedding without spending a fortune, after all it is the fact that you are getting married that matters.

Summary: You don't have to spend a fortune to get married