Anyone for zenith? (Midsummer Day)

Member Name: duncantorr

Product:	Midsummer Day
Date:	24/06/09 (189 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Midsummer Madness

Disadvantages: Midsummer Sanity (or vice versa)

For some obscure, doubtless very British reason, Midsummer is officially recognised in this country as falling on June 24th. Many would say this was too late, since the summer solstice, when the sun is at its annual zenith, occurs three days earlier. Personally, I take the opposite view. It's much too soon. And insufficiently celebrated whenever it occurs.
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Midsummer Day? It's come so quickly
My head is spinning, tummy sickly,
As if a girdle I'd put round
The earth, and beat the speed of sound
Ten times over in the orbit -
No wonder my head's such a sore bit.
It's brutal going, you ask Puck,
And unlike him I failed to pluck
A single flower on my way
To reach this year's Midsummer Day.

I can't believe it's even summer,
(The weather? Till this week a bummer),
Let alone that we've arrived
At the midpoint. We're deprived
Of all the warm anticipation,
The seasonal sense of titillation,
That should swell up to summer's climax,
Its height on such a scale that Imax
Would provide a screen too small
To properly display it all.

Instead, it all seems premature.
Half-cock, without the overture,
It's suddenly June 24th
A stark reminder that, henceforth,
The Earth tilts to an adverse spin;
The days will start their drawing in.
However hot July and August
The wind eventually with raw gusts
Will blow away autumnal leaves,
With wintry squalls still up its sleeve.

Think of all that hasn't happened;
We're barely round the opening lap and
The chequered flag's already raised -
What else is there to be but fazed?
School isn't out; long-suffering teachers
Keep grim resolve glued to their features
As their young charges stifle yawns
And count the days till break-up dawns,
Both dreaming of the promised hols,
Of indolence and alcohol.

Even Parliament's still sitting,
With many members doubtless sh*tting
Themselves in case the Telegraph
Exposes that they've had a laugh
At our expense, the cheating pigs,
By double-claiming for their digs,
Sub-letting to their ducks the isles
In lakes around their stately piles
(That is, their manors or their castles
Not the haemorrhoids up their arseh*les).

And Wimbledon has barely started:
Our British lad not yet departed,
The women's grunts still almost muted,
And many line calls undisputed.
At cricket we await the clashes
That will no doubt turn hopes to Ashes;
A sporting chap is yet to be off
To see the Open golfers tee off,
Or buy a boater from his hatter
To wear at the Henley Regatta.

It's all too soon! Nowt could be dumber
Than to call this day Midsummer,
Implying that we've reached the peak.
Methinks the seasons need a tweak;
So here's my plan. Let's all pretend
It's not Midsummer, just the End
Of Spring - so still a worthy date,
And just excuse to celebrate.
What's more, to launch it on its way,
Let's make it a bank holiday.

Of course, there might be some complaint
(With great reforms there never ain't).
Some truly new age Celtic Druids,
The kind that hail from Powys or Clwyd,
Might bemoan the lost connection
With the solstice, but reflection
Would remind them it was lost
Long years ago, and their riposte
Has been their annual revenge
Upon the poor stones of Stonehenge.

Meanwhile, we'll pick another date
To call Midsummer. All the weight
Of evidence, it seems to me,
Is clear as to when this should be:
Halfway between the End of Spring
And August Bank Hols we should ring
A date in calendar and diary
In scarlet ink, all bright and fiery,
Or deepest crimson, even better,
To show the Day will be Red Letter.

Another Bank Hols this should be
And Carnival (don't you agree?)
To make the one at Notting Hill
Seem colourless and sickly, ill,
For this would be a National Day
To sing and laugh and dance and play,
The zenith not of soaring sun,
But of the human zest for fun
(And, with the End of Spring not one
But two feasts in the place of none.)


© Also published under the name torr on Ciao UK, 2009.

Summary: A proposal to move midsummer to enjoy it more