Did I really do that ........? (Most Embarrassing Moments)

Member Name: deb10

Product:	Most Embarrassing Moments
Date:	27/06/05 (311 review reads)
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Advantages: none

Disadvantages: plenty

MY TOP CRINGE MOMENTS


Is it just me being born under the star of the "muppet" or are other people out there good at making a complete cock up in their day-to-day life. Sometime I do such embarrassing things that I cannot believe its me, its like an alien has taken over my body and I cant control my actions. Before you say anything, no its not due to alcohol consumption.
I've come to the conclusion that I mess up when I am nervous, so going anywhere that is unknown territory puts the fear of God into me now.
Here are a few of just some of the "E"mbarrassing things known to me. Rate them on the cringability factor.


1. It was my first week in my new job over Heathrow. I was working in Operations for a courier company. The week went fine, even though I was nervous. I was required to work Saturdays till 1 pm. Casual clothes were fine and I wore jeans and a fitted top. I needed the loo and was too nervous to walk pass the three gorgeous blokes at the end of the porter cabin. I held on till they left me alone and I walked to the toilet rapidly. Feeling more comfortable I strolled back inside walking past the same fellas again. A few minutes later one of the women who was on shift came up to my desk and told me I had a trail of wet toilet paper hanging over the top of my jeans like a tail! Her face was a straight as a dart but I was crimson.


2. It was the day I was due to meet my boyfriends family. Not a tough prospect except they are Asians and finding out their son had just bought a house secretly with his white girlfriend was not going down well. On that very morning I had a spiral perm that went disastrously wrong. The crap hairdresser didn't even apologise that my long brown hair looked like a tumble weed. Anyway off I went that evening with a gallon of frize ease on my barnet and with what I thought was a respectable amount of makeup. I was greeted by a room full of my other half's relatives and all stopped speaking as I walked in. Most of the women including my new sister in laws looked liked something out of Bollywood and there was me in my BHS finery. They all said "hello" and that was the last English word I heard that night, everything was in Punjabi. I was offered the most spicy dishes known to man and it took my breath away making me cough non stop and my eye liner ran down my cheeks like Alice Cooper. Things have improved and I went onto marry him.


3. Having tea with my in laws I just ate some spicy chick peas without coughing. Feeling proud that I finished my plate I went to wash up and as I rose from the table, farted like a machine gun.


4. I went to a party full of people I did not know. I went to the loo but couldn't find the lock so took a chance and just "went" . I wont sit on strange toilet seats ( I have a phobia about loo's that aren't mine) so I always squat. As I was mid flow the door came open and there were about ten to fifteen people coming from the kitchen to the hall where the toilet was. I was in full view.


5. Going to the Gudwara (Seikh temple), I had on my Indian suit and proudly wore my bhindi after just getting married. I never enjoyed the temple as not speaking Punjabi and being as white as snow, I stood out from the crowd so to speak. This time I didn't care, I was married! We went upstairs to the priest and you have to get on your hands and knees and display your rear end in the air, bowing down to the priest at the altar. I did this all ok, knowing the room full of people were watching me. Feeling proud, I started to get up and caught my foot underneath my trouser and fell forward over the altar and into the lap of the priest almost.


6. Having my Ofsted Inspection for child minding recently, I was extremely nervous as it's like having an interrogation. I offered the inspector a cup of tea and she said "I don't drink anything but herbal". I only have P.G ….. good start there. I then asked if she would like some lunch as it was two hours into the interview and the kids were hungry. I was told " I don't eat at lunch time im watching my weight". I then replied "Oh you better come to weight watchers with me then" - joking! Her face was a picture and she shot me the most filthiest of looks.

7. Having just taken my 2 year to the ladies at Lego Land. I made sure she was comfy, pulled up her knickers and then went onto do a pee myself. There was no way I was letting Zara outside on her own, so told her to wait for mummy.
Whilst in mid flow, bum in the air, zara opend the lock and quickly pulled the door open. There was no way I could move unless I was going to miss the pan and wet my leg so I gave the long que of hot frustrated women outside, a birds eye view. I had to suffer the looks of the que outside and I was so upset I went home to the annoyance of my other kidlets.

So what do you think, am I just unlucky or a right plonka. xx

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