| Product: |
Most Embarrassing Moments |
| Date: |
15/09/06 (436 review reads) |
| Rating: |
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Advantages: None for me but lots of entertainment for others
Disadvantages: Not many as I'm used to it
I seem to have a lot of embarrassing moments just lately. I really think it has become worse as I’ve got older. They say that wisdom comes with age, but, I don’t think so, not in my case any way. Most of my problems have been caused by my own stupidity and that’s why they make me feel so stupid.
I could write a book about these but, with due consideration to other Dooyooers I’d better select just few.
I went into Tesco a few months ago and wandered about in my usual manner, choosing what I fancied to eat. As I approached the dairy section I caught sight of a man I had known for many years. We were friends as teenagers and I really was delighted to see him.
I walked up behind him and called his name but he didn’t turn around. I assumed he hadn’t heard me, so I had the bright idea that I might just surprise him. I walked up close to him and threw my arms around him. ‘I’ve been stalking you for years,’ I whispered in his ear.
He turned round, looked me up and down and his face broke into a huge, wide grin. It wasn’t him! The man I had just accosted was not the kind that I would even look at. There was something quite strange about the way he looked, if you know what I mean girls, but, there again, I suppose he probably thought that I was very strange too.
Another incident happened in Tesco, too. (Tesco will be banning me, I’m sure, or even keeping my name on a list of ‘strange customers’). I took my shopping to the checkout and attempted to pay using my BT payment card. ‘But we don’t accept those, madam,’ the young man on the checkout said. I started to moan and then realised what I had done. I didn’t have my credit card with me so I paid with a mixture if cash and vouchers.
The young man gave me a few pence in change. ‘That’s not right I said, pointing to the bill.’ I moved my finger down the list and got to the bottom, ‘Six cartons of juice at 30p is £1.80,’ I said, in a so there, QED type of way.
‘Yes, madam, that’s correct,’ he said, ‘but six cartons of juice at 80p is £4.80.’
I didn’t have my reading glasses on!
Now for my favourite. This is the tale I always tell when the conversation turns to embarrassing moments. Many years ago I went to a local gymkhana where all my family and friends were joining me. The bar was in an old wooden hut which had been decorated especially for the occasion. Everything was beautiful. There were garlands, streamers, balloons, etc but I still had to add my own decoration to the spectacle.
Let me explain. I had gone to the ladies after consuming rather a lot of brandy and coke and I must admit I was a little worse for wear. I did what I had to do and made my way back to our table which was at the far end of the room. People tried to talk to me as I went and I was polite, but I really did need to sit down before I fell down.
I got back to the table to be greeted with hoots of laughter. I had the end of the toilet roll tucked into my knickers. There was a stream of pink tissue paper stretching right across the room from the toilet. Talk about the Andrex Puppy!
Well, that’s it. I don’t want to embarrass myself any more by telling the world all my secrets!
Summary: A small selection of my very best **** ups.
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