The penguin and second hand beer (Most Embarrassing Moments)

Member Name: Highwayman

Product:	Most Embarrassing Moments
Date:	02/05/02 (85 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: It was a long time ago........

Disadvantages: I'll never get to heaven

The MOST embarrassing moment.

Nows there's a quandry. 41 years of being 10 seconds behind the rest of the game leads to a lot of red faces.

There was the time I was playing in a pit orchestra and I fell asleep, dropping my cello. Middle of a love song. TWANK!!!

Not bad.

There was the time I appeared on stage in full drag and stripped to reveal myself naked except for one strategically placed sock. Which would have been strategically placed if it hadn't have been lying on the floor.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm

But there is one time.

OH my wordy lordy................

Picture the scene. Outback Australia. February. Roman Catholic school fete. In Australian Catholic schools, most teaching is done by yer real nun type lady in all the nun gear. Bear this in mind.


The band is booked to play from Midday to 4.00pm and the sun is frying our brains. We'd had a fairly successful night the night before, and our discretion may not have been all it could have been. We were set up on the back of a semi-trailer, 8 foot above the ground, in the middle of the school playing fields. The produce fair (jams, scones, etc.) is doing booming trade. So, unfortunately is the beer tent. Double unfortunately, because it's right next to the trailer the band is on. Triple unfortunately, because the band is feeling charitable................

We may, or may not, have had a drink or two, memory fails on this point. But we DID play all the favorites brilliantly. Had the crowd eating out of our hands to the extent even some of the guys were dancing (a feat in Australia). We're cooking in more ways than one, but attempting emergency rehydration like theres no tomorrow. The guys from the beer tent realise we are distressed and start feeding us freebies, and then the real fun starts.

We're flying. The notes are coming thick and fast, the fiddlers elbow is going in and ou
t like......well - you know. The singing is ragged, but the between song banter is witty and erudite. We finish the last song and the nuns are in raptures. Comments like "best ever" and "amazing" are flying around and we're feeling 10 foot tall.

We pack up our gear, and the boldest of the nuns comes over to ask if we'd like a cup of tea. Our first non-alcoholic drink in 5 hours. Did we?? You bet!! So we all troop into the nunnery ( are they still called that?), where tea is served. We're relaxed, but on our best behaviour, as you are when absolutely bladdered in a room full of nuns.

Then it happens. Sister Whatever, head nun lady offers the chocolates around. Personally. Walking around the room offering chocolates to pissed muso types. The stomach of one of those musicians decides that beer, tea AND chocolate is a bridge too far.

Cue one fully robed nun, covered in chunder.

Who was that masked vomiting man?

Yup.

The buggers never invited us back, either..............

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