At times I wish I was invisable........ (Most Embarrassing Moments)

Member Name: milmol

Product:	Most Embarrassing Moments
Date:	27/06/02 (126 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Something to laugh about...one day.

Disadvantages: Not to be recommended.

The first embarrassing moment that makes me cringe involves my daughter (it usually does) aged 3. Picture the scene, we’re on a flight, returning from holiday, all golden and content. Like most 3 year olds my daughter had a desire to visit the loo during the flight, and we all know 3 year olds wont wait. So we go and we queue, along with about 10 other people as one does on flights. Now once in the queue we’re stuck, because the flight assistants bring out that wonderful trolley thing, which means until they pass our seats all the people who are behind them have to stay exactly there.

Finally it’s our turn, we enter the cramped little room with the stainless steel bowl like a mop bucket, and urine on the floor kindly left by previous occupants. Now most women throughout their lives will perfect the art of urinating without any part of their anatomy coming into contact with the dreaded urinal. You know the stance, knees slightly bent, bottom pushed out and one hand clutching all clothing safely out of reach. It is at this precise moment, and just mid flow, that my 3 year old leans against the door of this cupboard, the door which of course opens outwards and was not securely locked. Now anyone that has seen a 3 year old suddenly fall flat on her bottom will know that this renders them capable of screaming for England. So there I am, with nowhere to hide, the door wide open, a child that sounds like its being beaten, and a group of onlookers trying desperately not to look. Thankfully one kind man picked up my wailing banshee and placed her back into the cupboard, shutting the door after her. I of course eventually had to leave this now safe little space and stand with all these nice people, along with my still screaming child of course.


My second embarrassing moment involves an interview I had 10 years ago. I had been working in a hospital, weekends, nights, bank holidays etc, and had applied to be a practice nurse. No weeken
ds, nights or bank holidays, you get the picture I’m sure. The day of my interview arrives, I scrub up quiet nicely, and I practice making eye contact in the mirror and being positive and proactive. I arrive at the surgery in plenty of time, approach the reception desk and introduce myself to the rotweiler who is ready to say ‘No we have no appointments today’.

‘Hello’, I say in my poshest voice, ‘My names Michele and I have an interview with the practice manager at 10am’.

She scowls, a farmer could plant potatoes in the furrows in her forehead, and she says in her loudest voice, ‘Are you sure? I think the interviews are tomorrow’.

Sudden dread fills me, not even I can be this stupid, please God let me disappear. But no, the friendly receptionist has to go and fetch the practice manager just to check. Yes I did it, I screwed up big time. I got the wrong day, and all the practice knew about it. The good thing is I went back the next day and I did get the job; guess they thought I was eager.



My last and most embarrassing moment happened this weekend. My daughter, now 17, had been crazy about a certain boy for ages, and one night he finally walks her home. Now this is the weekend of the Jubilee, I am alone with only the concert and a bottle of wine for company, and yes, I’m having a great time with Britain’s cream of musicians. It was nearing the end, I was feeling emotional, Sir Paul was singing ‘Hey Jude’ and so were all the crowds, in fact all the country. He actually said - ‘Now all the country sing’ and you can’t ignore Sir Paul now can you? And so it was, that I went to open the door, wearing nothing more than a purple nightshirt, looking like a lone crocus in spring and singing Hey Judy, Judy, Judy, Judy at the top of my voice. Well how was I to know she’d brought him home? She eventually forgave me but didn’t
bring him home for a few weeks, until this weekend.

He was coming to pick her up and we encourage her to ‘Bring him in’. No such luck. So off she went with lover boy, and hubby and I decided to do what most adults do when the kids are out of the way. Now, I locked the door, I know I did, but at some point hubby must have unlocked it to let a cat in or out, (that’s my excuse anyway). We didn’t bother to shut the bedroom door; after all, we were alone, we were minding our own business. Suddenly we heard a noise, hubby jumped up. Why do people do that????? Jumping up only exposes more of you. I quickly reassured him.

‘Its ok’, I said, ‘I locked the door, it’ll be one of the cats’.

Hubby breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed, and a moment later our daughter put her head around the bedroom door. Hubby dived for cover as if under artillery fire, I shouted ‘Becky get out’, and she shouted ‘Don’t worry I’m going’. She told me later she thought no one was home. I couldn’t believe she’d come in our room without knocking and she couldn’t believe we hadn’t shut the door, and yes, lover boy had been stood behind her.

Later that night she phoned us. ‘I’d like to bring Darren home and I’m just checking you’re dressed’. I assured her we were but thanked her for asking. When she finally introduce him to us, I found it very difficult to make eye contact with him, so I busied myself making tea, as English people do. Now those of you who have seen Kevin and Perry Go Large will understand this next bit. On passing Becky her tea, she winked and said in her best imitation of Perry ~ ‘Thankyouuuuuu Mrs Patterson, you cheeky girl’.
Well at least it broke the ice and we all had a good laugh, though goodness knows what Darren thinks of us.

Summary: