When I wished the ground would swallow me up (Most Embarrassing Moments)

Member Name: Caradawn

Product:	Most Embarrassing Moments
Date:	15/10/02 (143 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: May amuse others

Disadvantages: Embarrassing

It took me a few days to remember 10 embarrassing moments. That brought me to the conclusion that my brain is probably protecting me by forgeting times of total humiliation. So here in no particular order are the 10 embarrassing moments my brain has let me remember:


1) About four years ago I passed my car-driving test. I had some money put away so I bought myself an old Mini. At the time I was working at a rugby club. It was a freezing cold night and after scraping the worst of the ice off the windows I set off home. I turned out of the club car park and accelerated down the road. Ther were some parked cars coming up on my side of the road, so I pulled out to go past them. At the same time I reached down to put the heater on as it was so cold the insides of the windows were iced up. Too late I realised that I far enough out to pass the parked cars and there was an almighty crunch.

I stayed in the car for a moment trying to steady myself then got out to inspect the damage. BAD. My Mini looked somewhat smaller than it used to, I had shunted the other car up onto the pavement and into another car. The car's owner came out of the house and I waited for him to start shouting, but when he said my name I realised it was one of the rugby players. Not only had I wrecked his car, but also the other car was his girlfriend's!

Inevitably the time I turned up for work the whole club knew about my accident.


2) This next incident happened at school when I was about 15. We were in pottery class and had been put in groups to work. one of the lads in my group said something that made me laugh. I snorted and a big glob of snot shot out of my nostril and proceeded to dangle from my nose. I tried to hide it, but they had all seen.


3) When I was 14 I had my German penfriend over to visit. Her name was Tina and she was tall, slim and tanned with long legs. On a sunny day at the weekend my parents took us to an outd
oor swimming pool for the day. Tina was attracting a lot of attention from some men and I'm ashamed to say I was a bit envious. I attempted to get some attention myself by doing my sexiest sunbathing poses, showing off my great swimming moves and trying to join in with the conversations when the blokes came to chat Tina up.

It wasn't until Tina mentioned that I was looking a bit sunburnt that I took a proper look at myself and realised that I was the colour of a freshly boiled lobster. After that I covered up and behaved myself.


Okay, these next two will probably convince you that I'm just a bag of wind.

4) I was walking home with my friend Angie after a night on the town. Angie had pulled that night so a bloke accompanied us. I really needed to break wind, but because I was with company was a bit embarrassed to do so. So I drifted away from the chatting couple and attempted to let it out quietly; which I thought I had managed to do until Angie shouted "Cara! I've never heard you fart before!"


5) On Sunday afternoons my partner Shaun, my dad and myself go to an indoor climbing wall. One Sunday, the day after a curry, I kept breaking wind and to put it mildly it didn't smell very nice. At the climbing wall my dad and Shaun were dicussing a climb with another climber when I felt some more wind working its way out. So I sauntered off to the other side of the room where there was no one around and let it out there. I waited a moment for it to dissapate before making my way back to Shaun and my dad. I hadn't quite reached them when Shaun looked round and said "Christ Cara, is that you again?!"

I guess the guilty look must have given me away. The climber who was with them gave me a mortified look and promptly left.


6) I used to like wearing rings. One of them was in the shape of a peacock. When I was out drinking one night a woman walked past me wearinag a kn
itted jumper, which caught on my peacock ring. She didn't realise and carried on walking. I ended up trotting behind her attached to her jumper, trying to get her attention. When I did get her attention and let her know what had happened she wasn't too pleased. I couldn't see properly in the darkened pub so it took me a while to free the ring and I lost the peacock's head in the process. I apologised profusely, but it didn't seem to help. She turned her nose up at me and stalked off.


7) When she thought I was old enough my sister started taking me out clubbing with her. One night I confided in her that I fancied this bloke, but I was pretty certain he wouldn't be interested in me. She told me that I was good looking and he would easily be interested, so I should let him know. I was drunk enough to actually believe her and off I went to tell him I fancied him. He told me in no uncertain terms that he wasn't interested and didn't like red heads anyway.


8) My eyesight isn't very good so I have to wear glasses. Before my eyesight got too bad I used to be able to get away without wearing them all of the time, though maybe I should have. When I saw someone waving I would immediately smile and wave back, only to find that I didn't know them and they weren't waving at me.


9) I was at a night club when I saw someone from the back and thought I recognised him. I went over and tapped him on the shoulder and said "Hi" with a big smile. When he turned round with a puzzled look on his face I realised my mistake and promptly tried to save face by saying "You don't remember me do you?"

He shook his head in bewilderment and I made a hasty exit. The poor guy was probably wondering what he'd been doing thelast time he'd got drunk.


10) I was a receptionist at a hotel called The Periquito. One day I was talking to some other receptionists. I can
9;t remember what the conversation was about, but pain killers, as in paracetamols, came up. Then the phone rang and I cheerfully announced: "Good morning, The Paracetamol Hotel..."

The other receptionists thought it was funny, but the woman on the phone wasn't amused.


Hope you enjoyed the read!


~#~ Caradawn ~#~

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