delawney rises to the challenge (Most Embarrassing Moments)

Member Name: delawney

Product:	Most Embarrassing Moments
Date:	19/10/02 (169 review reads)
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I can't believe I'm actually sat here contemplating sharing my most embarrassing moments. But I was handed a challenge, and not being one to shy away from such things I'm going to give it a go.

When I first started reading some of the "Most Embarrassing Moments" ops, I couldn't think of any of my own. I guess I must just have been blocking them out of my mind. But with just a little thought I found myself able to drag these few to the surface...

Beware! Some naughty words and descriptions of behaviour that should not be copied follow!


*** The Swearing Incident ***

Not so much an embarrassing moment for me, but more so for my parents. At the tender age of two, I had been taken for a visit to my Great Gran's house. I toddled inside and had my coat removed by my mother, and promptly declared "Christ, it's f**king cold in here". No one knows where I'd picked up the delightful expression. Apparently nothing more was said.


*** The Lost Money Incident ***

Some years ago whilst at Uni I used to love going to the regular Rock Nights at one of the Uni's bars. One such evening, I had as per usual spent some time getting myself ready. Not wanting to burden myself with a bag or a purse (hey, I wanted to be on the dancefloor all night!) I decided to put my nice crisp £10 note in my bra. Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time. This was foolish. You see, I'm not the world's most well endowed in that department. By the time I made it to the SU bar, the £10 note had of course gone missing. Not embarrassing itself, but the fessing up to a (male) friend and having to borrow a tenner to see me through the night was. I put that in my trusty old Doc Marten. Should've done that in the first place.


*** The Incompetent Cycling Incident ***

One summer, fed up with always having to get the bus to work I decided to try cy
cling instead. Now, I am not a particularly confident cyclist. I am probably the only person in history who managed to fail their cycling proficiency test at school. (And people wonder why I don't drive!). I usually only cycle where I can use designated cycling paths and don't have to battle with the all to scary traffic. Fortunately, most of my journey home consisted of such paths. Unfortunately, it also involved a short journey down the High Street before turning off to a narrow side street to join said cycle paths. Often, I would walk it, but after some time cycling my confidence was building and I decided now was the time to attempt the journey down the High Street actually on my bike.

It started OK. I was nervous, but it was only a couple of hundred yards, I could do it. To my dismay, however, as I approached my turning, there was a lorry making a delivery parked just prior to my turning. Now, you have to remember that this is the High Street, everyone is making their way home from work and consequently the pavements were very busy. Before I turned into the side road, I wanted to be sure there were no pedestrians crossing said road, but this darned lorry was in the way. I was also signalling to turn left, and quite obviously had my left hand off the handlebars. I couldn't see past this lorry, and in some sort of bizarre reflex action decided to break. Of course, my left hand was not on the handlebars, so I breaked with just my right hand - and therefore just the front break. Cue delawney throwing herself over the handlebars on the high street, for absolutely no apparent reason. Cue delawney's bike uncerimoniously landing on top of her. Cue delawney having to move out of the way pretty damn fast to avoid being run over.

You will be pleased to know that only delawney's pride was hurt, except for a few small bruises. The bike was fine because delawney broke its fall.


*** The Cider Incidents (Ass
orted) ***

I don't drink cider anymore. There is a reason for that. Actually, there are several reasons for that. They include the Cropredy Festival 1992, where I got exceedingly drunk on cider and threw up outside the tent. And the Reading Festival 1995 where I got exceedingly drunk on cider, woke up with the hangover from hell, and threw up outside the tent. (Sensing a pattern here?). There's several such incidents which if you're pedantic you can count them to make all the moments in this op add up to 10. Embarrassing, but not particularly amusing. But check these out...

Picture delawney aged 16 years old, and recently dumped by the first love of her life. She goes to a gig in a pub to try and cheer herself up. She has a bottle of Diamond White. (OK, I know it's gross, but you're not supposed to be judging my taste here). Picture delawney having another bottle of Diamond White. This is normally delawney's limit (she's only small). Cue nice American serviceman who spots that delawney is drinking Diamond White and kindly buys her another. And another. Cue interesting discussion about the Gulf War (the topic of the moment) and delawney declaring that she is in fact a pacifist, and a drunken argument follows. Cue delawney arriving back at her father's and throwing up on his carpet. Cut to delawney being woken up in the morning (having passed out on the sofa) with an Alka-Seltzer, being told by her father not to worry, that we all get drunk sometimes, but that he did wish she didn't drink out of the bottle because it's so unladylike. (Note: delawney gave up cider but still drinks out of the bottle).

New Years Eve 1991/1992, aged 17. In the pub. Drinking... you guessed it, cider. But pints this time, not that crappy Diamond White stuff. Not much to tell here really - I got very, very drunk, don't remember seeing the new year in, threw up in the pub (and got someones beer - so
rry mate) and spent a considerable amount of time outside making friends with the pavement. Now, this seems embarrassing enough, but you've not heard the worst of it yet...

About two weeks later, I had some time to kill before my bus home from college was due, so I was merrily reading the magazines in WH Smith (better than buying them). A complete stranger walked up to me and said "You don't remember me do you?". He was right. I didn't. "I had to clear up after you in the pub on New Years Eve" he said. Ah, for the ground to open up and swallow me right there and then. I apologised profusely and made my excuses prior to a sharp exit. It was a long, long time before I set foot in that pub again.

(delawney would like to note at this juncture that underage drinking in pubs is naughty, and tends to lead to you making a twat of yourself so be warned).



So there you have it, delawney's most embarrassing moments. I hope I won't be updating this particular op anytime ever!

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