Mud (Most Embarrassing Moments)

Member Name: 2Quizzy

Product:	Most Embarrassing Moments
Date:	30/11/03 (89 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: ..

Disadvantages: ..

please skip this first bit to be able to read the review with capital letters intact. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. mud. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. mud. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. mud. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. mud. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. mud. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. mud. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. mud. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. mud. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. mud. a. a. a. a. a. mud. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a.a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a.
a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. mud. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a. a.


I can't think teenage "embarrassing moments" without thinking of mud.

When I was little I used to eat mud. Actually, according to my mother I ate pretty much anything and everything. Flowers, grass, dog biscuits, but mud was my favourite. So maybe my teenage years were just mud getting it's own back? Kind of a mud-karma thing? Who knows?

My first mud moment was during my first year in high school. I was 12 and a year younger than the other kids due to a difference in the standard age of starting school between South Africa, where I went to High School, and Rhodesia, where I went to junior school. Being a year younger is a BIG thing at school and so my first year of high school was mostly spent trying to act "cool" or stay invisible.

Our School started a project to raise money for charity. It was called the "Cape to Cairo Race." Every class got a map of Africa with the route. The idea was that for every sponsored mile a pupil ran you marked off ten miles on the map. The first class to reach the end won a prize as well as the class who collected the most money. Each student had to run at least five miles. If you didn't finish the miles by the end of the first two weeks you had to stay back after school and run then. Some older kids had a plan to try to get it over with as fast as possible. They figured that if we ran every lunch break on the sport's field behind the swimming pool we could have it done in a few days. Of course we weren't allowed onto the sport's field, but that didn?t bother the older kids and I went along as well. I didn't want to look "too scared" to risk detention by breaking the rules. Thinking back I now wonder why I didn't just lie and say I had run when I hadn't, but I wasn't that smart (or devious) at 12,
unfortunately.

The problem was that this was in the middle of a wet African winter. The rain had been pelting down for days and the sport's field was a squelchy green swamp. At lunch break we sneaked over the back fence and started running around the field. I had almost finished a mile when the bell for end of break rang. Everyone dashed for the fence and in my hurry to turn for home my feet went out from under me. SQUELCH. I fell back flat on the ground right in a huge muddy puddle. I was mud from the back of my head to my heels. Fortunately almost everyone had left by then. A few friends helped me up and pointed out that there was no way I could let any teacher see me without giving the game away.

My friends managed to wipe a bit of the mud off my hair and back, but basically I was cold and wet and disgusting. For the rest of the day I made sure I never turned my back on a teacher. I even managed to take a book up to the front of class and return to my desk walking backwards without the teacher noticing. Of course everyone in the class knew and the stifled sniggering was very clear to me even if our teacher never seemed to notice.

My second mud moment came a few years later. It was during the summer holidays and a bunch of us had pooled our money to hire a large canoe for the day. There was me, my two friends, the one's two brothers and their friends which included a guy all the girls in our small town thought was gorgeous. He was the James Dean "Rebel without a Cause" sort. We had a wonderful time paddling up and down the river in the canoe. The river ended at the sea and main beach and we stopped in the shallows to buy ice creams at the tea room before heading back up the river. It was a perfect day and I felt I was wonderfully sexy in my new red shorts with little ribbon ties on the sides and matching top. At the end of the day we took the canoe back up river to the jetty where we'd rented it. When we'd
left it had been easy. Everyone got in, the last person undid the rope and hopped in and off we went. When we got back it wasn't so easy. The tide had gone out and no matter how we tried we just couldn?t get close to the jetty. Someone was going to have to get out and wade to the jetty with the rope. Wanting to impress I volunteered loudly. The water was crystal clear and only about two foot deep so it wasn't as if I was making a grand gesture.

I hopped over the side.. and vanished. Yes, the water was only two foot deep, but the river bottom that looked so solid was actually a three foot layer of soft silty mud. I sunk up to my waist in the gooey slimy stuff. My friend's brothers tried to pull me out, but I was stuck fast. The cool guy managed to jump from the canoe to the jetty (why didn't he offer this earlier?) and pull the boat in. And me? In the end it took everyone there to pull me out. They were all laughing their heads off by then. I came out with a really loud "SHLOCK" noise. My lovely new outfit was covered in stinky river mud and no one wanted to go near me.

On to mud moment number three.. Although this one was more humiliating than embarrassing.

I was the only girl in the grandchildren and as a result tended to be a tomboy. Even as a teenager I was more interested in being considered "one of the guys", but it got harder competing with my cousins as we moved into our teens. As kids we'd all been equal, but whilst they all zoomed up to the 6 foot level in their mid teens I barely made it past 5 foot. This one holiday when I was 16 we all went to the beach for the day. On the way home we decided to do a bit of exploring and instead of following the path along the stream back up to the houses we decided to follow the stream up further to see where it went. It was a great time actually. The stream went on into woods and farmland and there were even little waterfalls along the way. Very pret
ty. After a while the path petered out completely and the only way to go on was to cross the stream. It wasn't very wide by then and my tall cousins simply stepped across. My one cousin held out his hand to help me across. Refusing to be "the girl" I ignored his offer and jumped.. slap bang into the middle. You guessed it. Once again I was to discover that a foot of sparkly water lay above three foot of soft sticky mud! Short legs just aren't made for leaping streams. It only took two of them to pull me out this time, but I smelt just as bad as the time before and even after a bath and a change of clothes the smell seemed to hang around me like an aura.

Mud moment number four was actually a mud and gravel moment. THis was also the most embarrasssing. It was a rainy day and my mom had stopped by the post office. I was to go and get something. Can't remember what now. I just remember it was raining and the entrance to the little post office was across a semi-circular gravel parking area. I leapt out the car and sprinted inside. No problems, but the queue was long and I was in there for ages. By the time I left it had even cleared and the sun was shining, but I was in a hurry to get home and so I sprinted back to the car.

One moment I was looking at the car and the next I was looking at the sky. I'd slipped in a mud puddle and the gravel had acted like ball bearings. I'd slipped neatly under the car like a letter in a post box slot. All that was sticking out was my head. An elderly man with a walking stick came over and asked, "Are you alright, young lady?" I assured him I was fine whilst wishing the ground would swallow me up. Everyone going in and out of the post office gathered to stare at the talking head sticking out from under a car. My mom hadn't even seen me vanish and was sitting in the car puzzled at why everyone was looking down beside her car.

By then I was nearing the end of my teens
and the mud curse seemed to fade. Oh, there have been close calls, but I've outwitted outmanoeuvred and outplayed all the nasty little puddles and unexpected rain showers. I can proudly say I have managed to stay mud free right up until present day.

Summary: