The Food of Love or Just Nice Noises? (Music)

Name: Frankingsteins

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Product:	Music
Date:	03/09/04 (389 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Something for everyone, Interesting mixing of styles, Sounds great

Disadvantages: Inappropriate music can hinder enjoyment, A lot sounds the same, Sounds rubbish

Music exists in many forms and means many different things to many different people. But is music one of mankind’s most exquisite forms of art? If so, what was that Mister Blobby single about? Here I shall attempt, in soundless text, to explain. You may be beginning to see the problem inherent in music reviewing on Dooyoo.


WHAT IS MUSIC? I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF IT


The Frankingsteins Dictionary (First Edition, in progress I expect) describes music as intentionally manipulated sounds, usually based on an identifiable rhythm, designed to evoke a response in the listener’s eardrums and brains. Music is Vangelis going crazy on a Yamaha home organ; it is also that relative knocking on your door with that irritating seven knock ditty.

Musical instruments developed as people began experimenting with new sounds, and although several musical staples such as drums, flutes and vocal cords are common to all, a number of nations innovated their own versions. Spain gave us maracas and them palm cymbal things, while Australian Aborigines were responsible for the didgeridoo, although perhaps not the wobble board.
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Traditionally-minded 1979 parents dismissing their son’s interest in the Sex Pistols with the phrase “that’s not music, that’s just noise” were therefore incorrect, although percussion acts such as Stomp and Back Beat are bridging that divide somewhat. (The scrap metal scavengers of Stomp were also revolutionary of course for bringing meaning to “that’s just rubbish.”)


MUSIC AND YOU


Music is a common feature of every culture, and is one of the most popular ‘things’ (forgive me, any chance to use a relaxing general term) in the world. People listen to music to suit their mood, or to evoke emotions that they would enjoy experiencing momentarily. The popularity of ‘tearjerkers’ and other melancholy musical forms can seem a little strange at first, but people need a nice bit of sorrow in their lives. Even that hyperactive bloke who did Pee Wee’s Playhouse would probably enjoy an Opeth ballad.

Music has been composed to suit all moods possible, from the depths of despair to ecstatic happiness and blistering anger. Incorporation of music into media such as motion pictures has also led to the association of standard sounds to specific situations, notably the ominous ‘Jaws’ theme being water-related, Also Sprach Zarathustra implying the vastness of 2001-style space and that bloody ‘Psycho’ dagger stab sound. Thanks for that, Bernard Herrmann.

Musicals and operas have also provided entertainment for centuries, even infiltrating cinema with popular music-based films such as ‘Grease’ and ‘Monty Python’s the Meaning of Life.’ Although an expensive full-blown performance of Wagner’s ‘der Ring des Nibelungen’ is predominantly for hardcore fans of his music nowadays, even someone with the most casual interest in music and performance such as my mother can go and see ‘Cats.’ I’ll find out whether she liked it in the morning. And let’s not forget, without John Williams’ rousing ‘Imperial March’ theme, Darth Vader is just the seventies Green Cross Code man Dave Prowse with a cape and asthma. Music can be the basis of a full production, or simply an invaluable enhancement.


MUSIC AND ME


Music is one of my all time favourite things (along with high quality comedy and the all-time number one) but reviewing albums for a consumer website, especially those of a musical style that many readers will be unfamiliar with, has always presented a bit of a problem for myself and other writers. This is why it has been important for me to appreciate the true value of music beyond a really good guitar solo, lest my reviews be littered with feeble phonetic attempts at describing them (“diddly-diddly-diddly-wahhhhhh-wow-wow-wow-wow, runnng” et al).

To me, music is something that can be beautiful and absorbing when necessary, but also very fun and a cheap thrill when called for. Anyone who has read any of my music reviews over time will know that I like rock, but as with all of my tastes, my interest lies in more specific areas that have developed over time as offshoots of the traditional vocals-guitar-bass-drum style: musical forms commonly merge across all genres, leaving my so-called ‘rock’ album collection with its fair share of pop songs, piano melodies, orchestral overtures and jazz sessions. I do have some albums that aren’t really rock-related at all, but I’m not telling you about them.

I feel quite passionate about the music I love, but not in a crazy or perverse way. If someone tells me that they despise my musical taste I shall simply laugh, shrug and later wee through their letterbox when they’re out. Yes, that was me.


MUSIC AND THEM


But then, I am not famous (not unless you are some kind of weird secret fan of my projected face’s appearances in Richard Herring’s Edinburgh show), and my views on music are anything but groundbreaking. Here’s what famous people have said on the subject:

“If music be the food of love, play on” – William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night

The bearded playwright clearly associated pleasant sounds with the emotion of love, but the link to eating is a bit weird. If my food makes a noise I replace the dish into the microwave and adjust to a higher setting. Shakespeare’s choice of wording seems a little odd; playing with one’s food in Elizabethan times must not have been the social taboo it is today, unlike playing with that other thing.

“If music be the food of love, let’s eat it” – Alan Partridge, Knowing Me Knowing You with Alan Partridge

That’s more like it: you eat food, you don’t play with it. Shakespeare was an idiot. I would applaud Alan for his correction of that centuries-old literary blooper, although unfortunately he is only a fictional character played by Steve Coogan and penned by a writing team, and I don’t want to run the risk of owing gratitude to Patrick Marber.

“Music soothes the savage beast” – whoever said this one

If I’m ever lost in the jungle I’ll be sure to leave my Pantera albums behind in favour of something more harp-based. Perhaps that naked woman should have sung to the eponymous Beast of Walerian Borowczyk’s terrible 1977 taboo feature. (Thanks to hogsflesh for bringing that one to my attention, and for the insights into homosexuality in the Star Wars trilogy).

“Marty, that was very interesting… music” – Lorraine Baines, Back to the Future

Robert Zemeckis’ time-travel romp showed that although societal attitudes could render an impromptu performance of Johnny B. Goode out of its historical context something of an earsore, their kids are gonna love it.


FINAL THOUGHTS


However you want to describe or categorise it – blues, Wagnerian, rebellious, boring, loud, crap – you will surely have some love of music. There are so many different types of music available because people have radically different tastes, and as long as people can remember and appreciate that, the world can continue to be a beautiful, musical place. Whether you dedicated your life to following Iron Maiden around the world on their staggering 1980s world tours at enormous cost to your wallet and eardrums, or you just like to hear young ladies singing in harmony when you drive to work, music makes the world a better place and I love it.

Why not show your appreciation of music in any form and write a review in the music category on this site? I’ve enjoyed it so far – many members of this site are open to new ideas. As long as feel you can successfully apply written descriptions to the sounds you’re hearing, reviewing your beloved or despised albums can be very enjoyable.

Musical taste can be expanded: through branching out to slightly different forms of the music I enjoy, I have discovered new areas and interests that would have otherwise escaped my attention or been hard to appreciate without the lead-in I was offered. No amount of progression or variation in a metal track could ever persuade me to give Pinky and Purky another try though. Sometimes music is just bad. Abominable music won’t even soothe the Abominable Snowman because, let’s face it, that doesn’t exist.

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