My Good Friend (Penpals)

Member Name: barbara107

Product:	Penpals
Date:	01/05/01 (139 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Very Fullfilling

Disadvantages: Not to every ones taste

Ever since I was about 12 years I have always had pen pals. Mostly in Europe and mostly around my own age with similar backgrounds.

I love to receive letters, especially with little keepsakes in them, or a postcard. I always put a lot of thought and effort into the paper I chose, or the card I sent, even down to looking for unusual stamps or stickers, especially if I knew they were a collector. On the whole it was a very fun and jolly thing to do and kept me busy for years. Even after I had my children I corresponded with like minded people.

I had become a member of International Penfriends and would receive about five or six letters a week, and eventually it got a bit too much to handle.

In September of 1997 we were on the look out for a little second hand car, and so bought a copy of our local free ads paper Loot. After browsing through the car section I was drawn to a section headed Penpals. To my amazement there must have been at least 50 different requests for Penpals from prisoners in Texas USA. For some reason it really captured my imagination.

I read through each request very carefully, a lot were quite open about needing cash or were looking for romance. About half way through I spotted a little two liner, a man aged 30 wanting a penpal, apart from the address to write to that was pretty much it! I circled that request., along with a couple of others and then put it to one side.

In all honesty I was a bit scared about opening a can of worms, or biting off more than I could chew. I just couldn’t get them out of my mind. I sat down and wrote three very similar letters to three men in different prisons. In each I briefly described myself and my interests, and tried to put into words my reasons for writing, which was quite difficult as I was not too sure myself! I explained that all I could offer was friendship and a link with the outside world, to be a diversion from their everyday life. I also said that
if they had got a lot of replies I would understand if they were not able to write back. After plucking up all my courage I posted them off, And waited.

The wait was less than a week and a half when I got my first reply. It was from a man who was in prison for 15 years for robbery, grevious bodily harm and fraud, non of which he had committed and could I help him with funds for a lawyer. I sent a postcard back to him, thanking him for his reply but saying that at this time I was unable to continue writing.

I then received two letters on the same day, one from a boy who was obviously very disturbed and had written about thirty pages about how everyone was trying to poison him etc..I sent back a postcard and explained I couldn’t write.

The third letter was something altogether different.

It was from man who was 30 years old, serving 25 years for a murder that he HAD committed, he had served 7 years, had never ever written a letter before and was persuaded by a teacher in a class he was attending to give it a try.

He had been dealing in drugs in Fort Worth, Texas. He was a street wise, gun carrying hard man, but there was such need and honesty in that letter that I knew instinctively that he was the one.

Initially I felt there was so much I could do for him, things I could share with him, it was all about what I could do, but boy was I in for a surprise!

We began exchanging letters every couple of weeks or so, then they became more frequent from both sides, then a letter would arrive when it wasn’t his turn to write

We exchanged cards, photos, poems. He taught me words and phrases that he used as I did with him, he told me things that he said he had never told another living soul before, and strangely enough I did him. I could read his mood from his letters, sometimes hopeful and looking forward to the future, other times so low it was difficult to read. He also picked up things from my
life from what I wrote, or in some cases didn’t write.

Now almost 4 years on and literally hundreds and hundreds of letters later I look upon him as a true friend. He is wise, witty and together we have faced a lot of things.

A first my husband was somewhat dubious about it all, but after reading some of the letters he is resigned to the fact that we are so close.

We are not romantically involved what so ever, I have never sent him money, and he has never asked for any. All we share is our thoughts and experiences.

He is to be considered next month for parole for the third time, and it will be difficult if he gets refused, but also as equally difficult if he gets released. But what ever the outcome I am sure we will remain close. It is my dearest wish to speak to him on the telephone just to hear his voice.

We don’t go into the ins and outs of why he is there, he is serving his time, paying the price that was asked of him, and what we share is a diversion from that, which is what I intended to start with.

I feel so lucky to have found him and hope that we will always be friends.

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