Religion has ruined my life and destroyed my family. (Religion)

Member Name: rachelmerrey

Product:	Religion
Date:	11/04/01 (347 review reads)
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Advantages: None.

Disadvantages: More than I can say.

This is a true personal account of my experience with a non-conformist religion which is accepted in this country without question and yet at this moment is brainwashing and destroying peoples lives. I am writing this in the hope that there are others out there like me that have experienced a similar situation as I would like to know how they have dealt with the emotional nightmare of it and to warn others to be careful. All is not what it appears to be.

In 1987 I was 17 and about to start my A Levels. I was naive, searching for a meaning to my life and very sick with Glandular fever and Hepititus which I had contracted through drinking polluted water in Tunisia.

A friend of my mothers who had always been a Catholic but watched her father die a horrific death from Cancer joined a christian fellowship and came around to tell us all about it, how wonderful it was, and how God could heal me.

I went along first and instantly fell in love with the friendly people, I was told things I'd never heard before about God returning to this world and that we were in the last days and that only those that were filled with 'the holy spirit' would be saved from the terrible things that were going to happen. They told me about speaking in tounges which was another language given by God to his people to prove they had the holy spirit within them. I was baptised that night and strange things did seem to happen, I felt things physically happen to my body, pins and needles, a warmth on my head and in my tummy whilst they prayed over me and I came out in a strange language. I was overawed and fully believed everything they told me.

Over the next month my mother and my sister joined but my father didn't.
It was then full on. Every wednesday night and all day Sunday were bible meetings, on Saturday night was youngies (teenager bible meetings). Regular fasts, a two week bible holiday and in between 'fellowship' which was visiting other members in their
homes and talking about God. We cut ourselves off from the outside world, were told it was our mission in lives to 'Save' (convert) people and spread the message. We were told all other Churches had lost their way and we were the only ones that spoke the truth.
We paid a tithe (a tenth of our monthly wages) to the church. I lived this way for 7 years. From 17 to 24. My sister from 11 to 18.

The problems began when I started to realise I had no control over my life, I was only allowed to date within the group, needed permission to go on holiday, my appearance was controlled from the length of skirts I wore to makeup etc. In 1994 disaster struck. I will try to keep this brief.
1. My father walked out on my mother he could stand it no more she treated him like a stranger and wouldn't let him near her, she said he was tainted with sin.
2. My sister was forced into a marriage because she had courted her boyfriend for 6 months and after this time you were told to either marry or split up.
3. I had been seeing my boyfriend for 18 months who joined the church had to wait 9 months to court me, we were split up after 4 months because the pastor felt we were not suited, my boyfriend left the church then, but was persuaded back by the pastor who said if he waited another 3 months he would let him court me again. After the three months of waiting we were told to wait another 3 months because God said and then after that he denied ever saying that and told us to wait another 6 months.

Depressed, anorexic by this time, I made a decision to leave the church even though I believed I would go to hell, be burned with everlasting torture and lose my mother and sister. When I told my mother she told me to pack my bags and get out. I had nowhere to go. She said I had made my bed and now I could lie in it. She shut the front door without so much as a goodbye and I was left with a suitcase and a broken heart. I felt I was in hell.

My boyfriends
parents took me in for a while until I found a place of my own. My sister and mother were told they could contact me twice a year. Xmas and my birthday. If they saw me they were to cross the street and ignore me. I cannot begin to describe the pain to you. It was unbearable.

I suffered endless nightmares about my soul and how I was going to die a terrible death. We were told things like at the end of the world the Russians were going to invade and they were going to rape and murder women and children and that as I had turned my back on God I would not be spared from any evil. I went to a councellor but it didn't help they could not understand what I was going through. My speaking in tounges is still with me as a constant reminder.

Fortunately my sister who could not live her life with the man she married or without her sister left as well. It affected her differently she has gone completely off the rails, Men, alcohol, she feels she has lost out on her youth.

Coming out of the church was very difficult, I had never been in a pub, a club didn't know how to socialise normally. What did I talk about. I only knew scriptures, all my friends in the church, my family had turned their back on me.

This church is still alive and thriving today. My mother is still in it. I have lost her for good I think. I blame myself as I was the first to join and ultimately I think if I hadn't perhaps the other wouldn't have. My parents would still be together. They have now divorced after 25 years of marriage. I miss them being together, my memories of my childhood are blotted out by the 7 years damage the church did to us. My mother threw all are photos of before away, along with my old school books, my cuddly toys, you know, valuable childhood keepsakes.

The church has 300 members in England, 3000 in Australia and numerous others around the world. Each church is called a different name so they are not seen to be a big organisation and I think
that might be to get away from paying tax. I don't know. I know this though I am without a mother and a family because of them, I am bitter against religion, I am scared for my soul and what might happen to me in the future, I am angry and want to hurt them like they have hurt me but I can't because of my mother and wouldn't now what to do any way. I hope though I can help someone by writing this though. Please think carefully before you join any religion, it could cost you more than you know.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I'm sorry its so long.

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