Any witch way but someone else's (Religion)

Member Name: MorganaDQ

Product:	Religion
Date:	25/04/01 (46 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: don't make me do this

Disadvantages: see above

Time - August bank holiday weekend, 1997
Place - Huddled round a huge fire in the middle of a field in Bridlington
State - Drunk... very very drunk.

It's a miracle I remember that night. Myself and boyfriend at the time were away for a weekend. I'd collected a few bits of my jewellery, pouches, whatever, together to try and sell, if nothing else to cover our costs. I'd done reasonably well, and as a result, we got plastered. Completely and utterly plastered.

Maybe it wasn't the best time to propose, but you didn't hear me complaining. I say propose, what I actually mean is...

B/F - "We could get married."
ME - "We could."
B/F - "Shall we?"
ME - "Yeah, okay."

I don't believe I've lost anything in the translation. That's pretty much what happened. A story to tell our grandkids if there ever was one! There is a point to me telling you this. You see, the weekend away was for a specific reason. We were at a pagan camp, and only that day had we seen close friends renew their vows.

Now, I wonder how many of you just recoiled at the word pagan? Lots I imagine. It's not exactly the norm, and think about it, when faced with that dreadful word what do you imagine? Witches riding around on broomsticks, mixing deadly potions in giant couldrons using animal entrails, cursing anyone who happens to so much as look in their direction in anything but a respectful manner, sacrificing virgins by moonlight whilst chanting praise to the devil. Does this all sound familiar? Faery tales have a lot to answer for you know ;)

Well, this is pretty much what a relative of mine had brought to mind when she was told that myself and bf would be having a Handfasting (a pagan marriage ceremony). The resulting letter from her was quite disturbing. She made it clear that there would be no rift between us should we decide to go ahead, b
ut her ignorance scared me immensely. She compared our beliefs with that of a Christian cult, believing it to be the work of the devil, and therefore in the same league as our own. Rather than recognising the fact that this disturbing and overtly dangerous cult was a result of her own beliefs, she directed the blame to something she didn't understand, and was therefore scared of... namely paganism.

Now, on first reading this letter of warning from her, my reaction was laughter. An odd one you might think, but it was nervous, disbelieving laughter. The kind that unsettles anyone who hears it because they know something's wrong.

After doing a fine impression of a goldfish for a few minutes and staring blankly at the pieces of paper I held in my hand, I read it over again, this time much more carefully. My aim was to pick this thing to pieces. I wasn't going to ignore it, I was going to respond with an angry piece of writing, aimed directly at dissecting her own religion in favour of mine. When I sat down to write this letter, I couldn't do it. Not even the opening line would come to mind. I tried so hard to find the words, but they simply wouldn't come.

So instead, I put her letter away for a few hours. I busied myself with other things to keep my mind occupied and returned to it only when I was calm and focused. On third reading I realised that her ignorance over what my beliefs were/are was not her fault. I knew at that point I was never going to convince her that mine is the one true path, because my path is only true to me. And anyway, why should I even want to try?

In the end, I wrote a calm, reasoned letter back to my relative explaining as much as I could, whilst at the same time making it clear that as I recognise she has every right to beleive in what she does, I would expect the same respect from her. She compared our Handfasting to the use of Ouija boards, explaining how our lives would
be lived under a curse if we went ahead with it, and so on. I simply tried to tell her of things in such a way as to relieve her worrying a little. Because at the end of the day, she's a relative whom I care for very much, and nothing should be so bad between two people who care, that their ties are broken for the rest of their days.

I've come a long way round this, and I apologise, but I have reasons for it. You see I had three very valid reactions to someone else telling me what I should believe in, and that my beliefs are wrong. I could...

A) ignore the letter based on the fact that it was insulting to my intelligence and downright rude, therefore causing problems in future because I couldn't even look her in the eye,

B) retaliate with a nasty letter, picking her own beliefs apart and therefore causing no end of problems between us and those around us, or

C) step back for a moment and respond with informed, intelligent reasons as to why I'm doing what I'm doing, knowing that she, as a caring human being would respect my decision, even if she didn't agree with it.

Now, okay, you may say that this is just one person's experience, and how can this affect a whole country? If it can happen to one person, it can happen to thousands, millions even. It only takes one person starting something small and innocuous, and it could go unnoticed. But it doesn't does it? We have proof of that already. The amount of religious wars which have been fought, and are still being fought, is positively terrifying because what can happen in one country can happen in another. You may believe that we're more civilised than 'they' are and therefore it won't happen here. Not true. One person with a grudge is all it takes. One person who believes he/she is right above everyone else is all it takes.

So why then, am I not anti-religion? If it starts wars, kills innocent people,
breeds hatred and contempt, why am I still all for it? You'll think it's because I have my own beliefs. Well yes that's part of it, but there's another bigger picture here that I feel some may well have overlooked. If there were no religion whatsoever, the people who are responsible for so much suffering wouldn't simply blend into the background. They'd find something else to fight over. I see religion as an excuse for the countless deaths of innocent people, not a reason. These people want power, pure and simple, and will use whatever means they can to get it. Religion doesn't kill people, people kill people. This is, of course, just my opinion, and you're more than entitled to disagree with me.

I do believe religion is a crucial part of the fabric of society. People won't accept the universe as science, and science alone. People need explanations, sure, but they also need to believe that something is looking after us, something created us and we're not simply an accident of nature. We need to turn somewhere when all hope is gone and find courage from something other than each other. Take away religion and you take away a great many people's hope, in some cases their main focus in life. A huge number of people will always need spiritual satisfacton.

This is a small extract from the letter I recieved from my relative...

"There are real spiritual powers at work behind all pagan religions (if there were not, why would the practitioners bother?) and there is a risk that by calling on the forces of 'nature' to bless your marriage, that real forces will indeed be unleashed that you may later regret."

Now take this passage and replace the words "all pagan religions" with "Christianity". For "practitioners" read "congregation", for "the forces of nature" read "God". Now tell me my chosen path is evil a
nd wrong.

Every man, woman and child has the right to believe or to not believe in a 'higher order'. No one person has the right to decide what those beliefs should be for every individual, other than the individual themselves. Every religion is a valid one, if only for the one person who chooses to follow it.

"...only the One who made us knows how to truly bless us."

Not one person who follows a religion could fault that statement, but what we need to remember is what I read as the 'One', is not what my neighbour does, or my Mum, and so on. And you know, I don't believe any one person is wrong in their interpretation of which 'One' is meant. Every single person's 'One' is the right one... the right one for them.

Some people need religion, others don't. Let's just leave them be to decide for themselves and worry about ourselves for a change, instead of everyone else.

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