God Knows Dooyoo? (Religion)

Member Name: harmonyk

Product:	Religion
Date:	20/09/01 (61 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Spiritual enlightenment = growth

Disadvantages: Fearmongers feeding off of mans gullibillity

I just read the opinion of 'idodoyou' (brilliant op. - well worth a look) on the subject of religion and it has stirred my mind enough to want to add my own feelings into the bubbling cauldron of man's beliefs.

A BIT OF MY BACKGROUND...
I was a confused Christian as a child. I was not Christened but Dedicated as a baby. This was because my father's family was from The Valleys of South Wales where it seems the Baptist church was where most locals worshipped. Dedication, as I understand it (which isn't a lot), means being Dedicated to God - instead of being Confirmed as a teenager I should have been subjected to the seemingly bizarre ritual of full Baptism. I have seen photos of my dad's experience of this ceremony. It looks dark, frightening and frankly - weird. I fail to see - even though I know of the stories of John the Baptist etc, how being plunged underwater can 'save your soul'.

Trouble was as I grew up with my family (now living in Bournemouth, Dorset) they somehow switched church to good old C of E - you know, the one Henry the Eighth invented so he could divorce (how bizarre was that?!)

So I grew up going to Sunday School, with my sister, cousins and dear old Grandma (God bless her). It wasn't an unpleasant thing. it was just something we had to do - we didn't argue - we just went and learned about how God was good - the Devil was bad - if we were bad we'd go to hell, if we were good we'd go to heaven. Life was simple - straightforward. I thought I was good. Then I became a teenager...


When I was about 13 or 14 we started talking about Confirmation. Because I'd been Dedicated I was made to feel like I was a freak, somehow a lesser human being, my Confirmation would somehow be 'different' from the rest. Well you might remember that being a teenager is all about being the same as ones peers. No-one at my church or in my family took the time
to ask me why I didn't want to go to church any more. No-one explained to me why I was to be treated differently to the others. I began to question how 'Christian' people could be 'good' if they treated me this way. So I left.

I still have certain beliefs but they do not revolve around religion. I go to weddings, Christenings and funerals in churches. I did not get married in church. I sort of regret that but I think that's just because of my up-bringing. I did get my children Christened (just in case!) but I didn't send them to Sunday School. Strangely - my daughter has always maintained she will get married in church. But only because it is traditional - not through any devotion to the building or God, it's congregation or beliefs. I am a little disappointed with that but it is for her to form her own views.

NOWADAYS...
Ten years ago my father died of cancer. I was with him - I never saw a man die before. The thought of it sickened me. BUT... it was the most beautiful thing. Don't get me wrong - I was heartbroken. But at the moment of his death I think I felt nearer to 'God' than I ever did before. It was so peaceful, no nurses or doctors flapping around, just my sister, my step-mother and me saying goodbye to the man we loved. It took me a long time to come to terms with losing my dad at just 57 years old. I searched for clues as to where he had gone. Was he in heaven? he certainly couldn't have gone to the other place, so many questions.

After a couple of years my sister (Sandyd) and I were both led - via different sources - to the concept of Spiritualism. We both went to different meetings in different towns/counties. Now the Spiritualist church only held part of the answer for me. It opened my mind to the ongoing life of our spirits. I saw mediums - good and bad - trying to help people by bringing them messages from their dearly departed friends and relatives
. I also saw, within the 'church' the same old hypocrisy that I'd witnessed as a teenager. There was petty squabbling, bitching and power struggles such as you would see in any boardroom or Brownie Guiders meeting (that's another opinion for me to write!)

Despite all this - the basic principles of the Spiritualist church had much more going for it than anything else I'd come across. Don't get me wrong - I don't embrace it fully, I am frustrated that I still have not received actual tangible evidence of the afterlife (eg. I never saw or heard a ghost/spirit - although I have smelled!) but I do believe we are all spirits, some in human form, learning, experiencing, growing. Others - returned to the 'higher plane' where we may choose to return (reincarnation) to grow further or stay. What really freaks me out is the thought that our spirit may be without gender and is everlasting. There have been times when I have seriously considered taking my own life, trouble is I know that if I do, I will have to return and 'experience' the same things again - I couldn't bear that - so it is a vicious circle. I can't go on but I know I must. In some ways it might be better not to have such an open mind. It would be easier to choose a religion, learn it's rules and live by them, and not question anything. Easier but stagnating. I would not grow. I'd be a bird without wings, a flower without seeds.

SUMMING UP
So I don't really think there is a need for religion - it inhibits growth. what I think we need is more compassion, more understanding and above all else, more love. The events of last week in America has made most of mankind to ask why? Maybe we should all look within ourselves for the answer. I dont begin to know the answers - after all I'm just another spirit sent on a journey into the unknown - if I knew the answers - I wouldn't be here.

If you agree or disa
gree with anything I have written please leave your comments. I have no wish to upset or antagonise anyone - after all you are all on journeys of your own with different agendas. May all of your Gods be with you.

Love from Heather

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