You $*&%$*& !!! (Road Rage)

Member Name: salgirl

Product:	Road Rage
Date:	27/09/01 (73 review reads)
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Road Rage was always going to evolve. Given that all human beings like personal space, and control over it, the ever increasing amount of vehicular competition was destined to spawn this phenomenon.

What is it?

To describe it simply is to say that it is excessive impatience mixed with indignation.

There has been an affront to our sensibilities, and the over-reactive actions are carried out in order to redress the perceived imbalance in the situation. Sounds almost excusable when it’s dressed up in that sort of language, but what is basically happening is that people are violently overstepping the mark when faced with stressful problems.

What causes it?

The reasons for this are as varied as different people’s reactions to each other. As individuals, we all have our own triggers and standards, which we find either unacceptable or acceptable.

I’ll forgive learner or newly qualified drivers for their mistakes, but when faced with clear ‘bad manners’ on a road from the experienced, it can have me barking out my displeasure, the content of which is dependent upon who is present in the car.

I also dislike people who don’t signal their intentions, sit in the middle lane of the motorway when it’s empty, inconsiderate parkers, ungrateful recipients of my courtesy, and queue jumpers. All of these are guaranteed to have me harrumphing, and on the odd occasion with the pusher-ins, I’ll display my annoyance by denying them their goal.

But that’s about it as far as general aggravation levels go. No better or worse than the rest of us, I suspect. I don’t feel the need to take it further once I’ve told them what I think of their driving standard, whether they can hear me or not. I try to remember that in over 15 years of driving, I must have committed the very same sins that wind me up so much, and that I’m not really in a holier than thou
situation. So, I think it is far better to get the frustration out than to morph myself into a human pressure cooker with a hair-trigger valve.

This, I would describe as acceptable road rage. It is reasonable to expect someone to be cross with another’s inconsiderate behaviour when just walking down the road, let alone when in charge of a potentially lethal vehicle. It is not out of proportion within the context of the situation. The problems arise when the reactions to a perceived or actual issue are out of all proportion and inappropriate behaviour follows.

Can it be overcome?

Not totally. It would be unfeasible to expect everyone to be able to control their temper, especially when a person has been placed in potential danger due to someone else’s thoughtlessness.

I can speak from experience here.

When my first child was less than a year old, she was asleep in her child seat in the rear of my car when I approached a set of green traffic lights. I needed to turn right and was in a small queue waiting to do this. There was a gap and the traffic moved through at the same time as the lights started to change. I could see that although I was within my right to go and had to space to do so, if I continued to move, a car coming towards the lights was going too fast to be able to stop from hitting me. Although the light was clearly on red, they shot round the corner in front of me, making no attempt to brake.

I was incensed. If I had continued with my turn, they would have hit the car exactly where my baby was sleeping. The car was motoring up the road ahead of me and I was trying to talk myself out of what I was thinking. I couldn’t. They had to know what they’d nearly done. I took off after them, and followed them down the roads and it was clear that they weren’t sure where they were exactly. I watched as they pulled into a single entry/exit car park, and then I parked in front of the e
ntrance, blocking their way out.

I could see the woman’s face looking puzzled as she trundled towards me. I was out of the car, shaking with rage. Striding up to her window, I yelled, “You could have killed my baby!” Her face (which was strangely familiar) began to drain of colour. “You went through a red light, and you could have killed us!”

She was mumbling an apology, looking shocked. I could do nothing else for fear of actually pulling her out of the car, and shaking her warmly by the throat. I stamped off back to my car, got in and drove away, still shaking and with tears streaming down my face.

The following week I had my daughter up at the doctor’s clinic for a check up, when out walked the careless driver. She was a practise nurse. We stared at each other for a few uncomfortable seconds before she called me in. Nothing was ever said, but I have never been able to view the woman in the same way since.

I’m a competent driver with a no claims record that stretches over my 15 years of driving. I am calm and courteous. I drive defensively, not offensively, and would prefer to let light-flashing maniacs pass me without making a grand prix epic out of it. But I couldn’t stop myself once someone had threatened the safety of my family.

And I would bet my last penny that you would all be the same.

Can it be prevented?

Yes it can.

Most rage occurs when you need to be somewhere and you’re running late. I know it is sometimes easier said than done, but always make sure that you leave plenty of time for the journey.

Frustration also happens when you’re lost and unfamiliar with the roads. Plan any routes that you aren’t sure of. There’s no excuse with facilities like multimap.com for example, which can take you right to the door of pretty much anywhere you want to go. There’s also Autoroute and other services like t
he AA and RAC navigation services to use. This should help you from causing grief to other drivers with unexpected manouvres and poor road positioning, plus your anger at your own frustrations won’t take over your reason.

Work out alternative routes, should problems develop along the way. Don’t just wing it and hope for the best.

My driving instructor used to tell me to treat all other drivers as though they are potential idiots waiting to have an accident. Leave people space, don’t tailgate and try to second-guess their moves before they make them.

DON’T USE YOUR MOBILE WHILE YOU ARE DRIVING. Hands free sets are a better option, and the best thing to do if you don’t have that, is to pull over. Hands up all of you that have been cut-up by a one handed driver who’s concentrating on what they are saying, as opposed to what they are doing. Even though I’m drifting in cyberspace, I can tell that there’s quite a few. In fact my hubbie’s last bout of actual rage came when a man swerved in front of him without indicating, causing hubbie and another car to have a very near prang. The car stopped at some lights, where he was relieved of his aerial by my husband who had caught up, got out, and taken it off his car. He threw it through the bloke’s open window, while he sat there shaking the phone puzzled by the reception problems. Hubbie then verbally explained it to him. I wasn’t particularly proud that he reacted that way when he told me about it afterwards, but I understood his sentiments and also that given hubbie’s temper can be much worse, I found his restraint admirable.

Don’t view driving like an arcade game where rash actions won’t incur consequences. Your bravado behind a joystick would certainly cause immeasurably more realistic reactions than it ever would in game-world when unleashed on the general public.

Don’t let drink cloud you
r judgement.


I’m aware that preaching from my chair is an easy thing to do. I still run late on occasion and find myself starting to feel stressed as time ticks by, but I try to calm down with some soothing music and remind myself that arriving a few minutes late is better than either not arriving at all, or receiving hospital visits instead.

I don’t particularly enjoy feeling angry and wound-up at the end of a journey and so I never make it my aim, not get into the car expecting it. White vans are avoided wherever humanly possible, and I’ll pull over for a few minutes break than to follow a dawdling caravan down a country road on holiday. Old drivers are treated with caution and respect wherever possible, especially those in flat hats. I avoid taking the kids to school by car as I could spend all day screaming at some of the efforts at general driving and parking that I have seen.

So my advice is easy really. Avoid anything that will bring additional stress to an already potentially stressful situation. Your nerves will love you for it, and so will those of others.

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