Why were the motorway and the dual carriageway so terrified of the long thin strip of tarmac ? (Road Rage)

Member Name: Sexy Kay

Product:	Road Rage
Date:	02/11/01 (217 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: .

Disadvantages: .

A man is driving along a country lane. A woman is driving down the same road, but in the opposite direction. As their cars pass each other the woman leans out of her window and shouts at the top of her voice, "Pig". The man immediately responds by shouting furiously back at her, "Bitch!".

They continue on their way and as the man speeds round the next bend he crashes into a large pig lying in the middle of the road.

If only men would listen ...

Take my BoyFriend (offers invited), he's gentle, kind and has a very respectable haircut - hope that hasn't put you off. A typical B.A (Hons) A.C.A. The sort of bloke your parents dream of you meeting (if you are a girl). After some of the types I went out with I think my dad almost kissed him the first time they were introduced. "Hang on to him, Kay", he said afterwards. But - or even however - put BF in a car and - oh dear, oh dear, oh dear! All of a sudden we have Macho-Car-Man!

And will he listen to me? No way. Can you believe he thinks he knows best? Unbelievable!

He's road rage personified, though only within the confines of his own car. You can tell this because he's worn out four horns, there are teeth marks on the steering wheel (which aren't mine) and he's stopped wearing boxer shorts so he can moon more easily at other drivers. Well perhaps I've exaggerated a little but I'm sure you get the picture.

I just don't understand road rage myself. I know I shouldn't generalise, I know I shouldn't be sexist but, come on now, isn't it mostly the blokes who get into these rages. You know the sort girls, you overtake them and the challenge is on - you have questioned their virility! They now have to overtake you, cos they are M-C-M. They scream their clapped out Fiesta to get by you, leaning forward to try and get that extra few mph. I just let them go, even though I know if I
put my foot down I'd leave them standing. I mean, what does it matter? I let them have their dignity, I'm secure with myself. I've got nothing to prove while in a car (unless it's parked).

It reminds me of the mum who passed her driving test and took her young daughter for their first ride together. Afterwards the girl rushed in to tell her dad all about. "And do you know", she said, "we didn't see a single bastard anywhere, like we always do when I'm with you".

I realise Mr.Disgusted of Dooyoo will be saying, "Road Rage isn't funny, it's a serious matter, nothing to make jokes about". Maybe, but isn't that a lot of the problem? Some people (I'll stop saying men now) take what happens on a car journey and what other drivers do too personally. Yes, yes, I accept how serious driving is and how you have to observe others etc etc but, if someone pulls out in front of you, is it really a slight on your character? If a car hogs the right hand lane is this necessarily a hanging offence? OK the moves may be annoying, even dangerous, but what is solved by shouting, making gestures and trying to get even? Absolutely nothing. Why not hang back a little and let the offending driver have some space. It doesn't mean you're not a 'real' man (whoops, or woman).

A while back I was given an exercise to do - as you may know I'm into 'self improvement rubbish' - as BF calls it. The whole idea was to have a day of slowing down, probably on a leisure day. If going by car to town shopping, for example, keep within the speed limits, let others out where possible, thank those that let you in and so on. When in town walk slower, let people go before you, hold doors open, be polite, never push in, let others get served first. There was a reason for doing this, which I won't go into, but isn't this perhaps how we should drive: relaxed, courteous,
considerate and giving others space. Just a thought!

Driving isn't a time for taking out our frustrations on others (so that's BF's problem) or being inconsiderate. In some towns it's also not the time for being in too much of a hurry. Lots of things can be annoying such as the person who: doesn't notice the green light, keeps to the speed limit, goes too fast, drives too close, keeps to the right hand lane, nicks a parking spot, overtakes on the inside, doesn't know where he's going, is in the wrong lane - and many others. There are also traffic jams! Really though we have to learn to deal with such situations, it's all part and parcel of driving.

When things get up our nose, that we wish to remove, it's down (or up) to us to unpick the situation and relaaaax. What could we do? Perhaps ...

•Think of something pleasant, a joke, a holiday, your partner, children or lover. Life's not really so bad!
•Play some soothing or uplifting music or have the radio on.
•Do some slow deep breathing.
•Open a window.
•Give more time for the journey than needed - if at all possible.
•If in a traffic jam, phone where you going (when safe to do so) and tell them you will be late - pressure is off.

And don't retaliate! If someone makes unsuitable gestures, leers, beeps their horn, it's their problem not ours. They must be having a bad day. I would suggest: avoid eye contact, give them space and don't argue, not even a shake of the head.

Normal driving isn't about winning. It's not a contest.

Lighten up.

My friend had a new sports car and cut in front of a lorry. The driver, a top grade M-C-M, was livid and chased after her and forced her off the road. He got out of his lorry, seething and red with rage. He drew a circle on the ground and told Jane to stand within it and not dare move. He th
en attacked her car bonnet with his fists. When he looked round at her she had a slight grin on her face.

This made him even more livid so he kicked and dented the doors. When he looked at Jane again she was smiling and he shouted at her in anger, "What's so effing funny?"

"Well", said Jane, "when you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle four times".

Perhaps not quite a completely true story but we must surely learn to diffuse situations and not to get irritated in the first place. It's back to how we look at things and how we handle stress generally (see ops in the stress management category). I keep asking BF why such and such a situation in a car makes him fume. Often there is no logical answer other than something like, "But didn't you see what she/he did!" I tell him to calm down, take a few slow deep breaths and relax. I'm on to him about taking up yoga and relaxing strategies (not while driving, of course) and to get rid of his tensions in other ways - mmmmm. Driving almost seems to be his release valve, other times he's calm and in control. He lets his built up tensions and anger accumulate instead of letting it out in more suitable places. This genuinely worries me. But will he listen ... nag, nag ... no wonder I get on his nerves at times!

Mind you I have noticed myself that there are types of car drivers it is best to avoid in order to remain calm. The worst, in my opinion, are those wearing hats! They get worse still by degrees if they are also smoking a pipe, have a scarf or tuck their shirts into off-white Y-fronts, oh yes, and if they are male!

Anyway, relaaaax and drive safely - what does it all matter ...

;-> Kay

So, why were the motorway and dual carriageway so terrified of the long thin strip of tarmac? Because he was a cycle-path!

Sooorreeee.

Summary: