Cross Town Traffic (Road Rage)

Member Name: utero

Product:	Road Rage
Date:	03/11/01 (32 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: relieves personal stress, can make you impossible to travel with

Disadvantages: can manifest into physical confrontation

It’s all over the front page, you give me road rage. That’s what someone once said in a song but to be honest I think they just used the song title and lyric to actually sell a few more records as the song really doesn’t have anything to do with cars. But anyway, times have changed. We now have to deal with a lot more stress in our lives due to dull jobs, little prospects and life’s endless struggle just to survive.

So when you’ve had a hard day at the office you like to hurry on home and slip on some Slipknot and just relax. But hold on, you’re in your car and you’re stuck behind the driver with a drive safely sticker in his back window who doesn’t know that more pressure applied to an accelerator pedal will make him go faster in his vehicle. Your head starts to boil and you find yourself stepping out of your body and suddenly the devil has taken over your soul. Your hand slams down on that horn and you feel you have to vent your anger.

I’ve been driving now for five years and in that time you start to observe the other drivers on the road but also yourself. After a year or so of driving people slip into bad habits that just come as natural parts of driving a vehicle. 95% of us do it, I out my hands up and say I’m one of them. Then there are those drivers who really are pussies when it comes to getting behind a wheel. Speed limits are there for everyone but some seem to insist on driving below the limits, concerned that danger is around the corner.

These are the slight things that give me road rage. I often find myself alone in my car effing and blinding about the timid driving skills of the person in front. Perhaps I should show a little more restraint but I honestly feel that these people shouldn’t be on the road if they can’t hack the pace. The same goes for people who don’t acknowledge you when you give way, it’s part of the unwritten driver’s co
de so please use it. Some don’t bother. However due to my restrained and quiet nature I never feel the need to honk my horn at anything unless it’s major. I can’t recall a time I’ve done it. Of course for everyone person like me there’s another ten who aren’t as civilised and that’s when the trouble beings.

There are people on the roads that feel that they have the right to drive how they like with no concern for others. Personally I’m not aware of a higher form of road tax that allows you to be a complete moron but perhaps there is. Because of this self installed god given right they think that anyone who encroaches on their domain is taking liberties. Like Yoda once said, fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. At first these people toot the horn to get their point across but when ignored they feel it necessary to try and cause an accident where they can then let rip with their vengeance on the other driver.

These people need to be stopped or given some tips to kurb their problem, here are mine.

1, Concentrate on yourself, if an accident happens then you can be safe in the knowledge that it wasn’t your fault and you have no need to lose it.

2, The horn is a way of letting out your grievance with another driver. But remember constant use will give you a reputation of being a w****r. You’ll feel a better more refined person if you don’t use it.

3, Beware of drivers that wear flat caps and drive an Austin Maestro. Chance are they’re part of that covert operation called the ‘flat cap brigade’ and are intent on causing you grief.

4, Try playing some relaxing music in the car while you drive. You’ll feel better but please refrain from anything by Westlife or Steps. This will only increase your stress.

5, Just keep reminding yourself that every mile travelled is a step closer to your destinatio
n.

6, If ‘Road Rage’ does start to take over then conjure up some of the darkest expletives you can think of and vent them within the confines of your own car. The other driver won’t hear them but no matter, you’ll feel a lot better in yourself.

If this doesn’t work then I’m sorry but you’re beyond help and should probably look into an alternative form of transport like a tank or perhaps a very large bulldozer.

That’ll make them get out of your way.

Summary: