Real story (Road Rage)

Member Name: Cammij

Product:	Road Rage
Date:	07/11/01 (71 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Road rage keeps drivers in line, sloughs off poor drivers

Disadvantages: innocent passengers could get killed

Look I know all of you think I am a liar because I sometimes forget how things really happened or I just flat out lie about stuff but this is a totally wild and true story about road rage.

I was a vandal and most of you probaly gathered that from reading my "Vandal by Birth" essay. I was not a troubled boy who needed direction I was just a malicious jerk.

When we were 16 my friend Satan Sanchez had a uncle who had both a Porsche and a BMW. I know that probaly don't mean much to y'all but where I come from we all drive Chevy Trucks to the Bowling Alley and hang out so it meant something in our town. For some reason this guy let Satan borrow the cars any time he wanted. So we would drive them around town and talk to girls. Of course lots of people would yell at us to "Take mommies car home" but we did not care. We enjoyed driving the BMW all over.

So this one night we took the car out and tried to see how fast it would go. The road we thought to take it on just happened to go past the Irish Catholic church in town (in the USA we have separate Catholic churches for the Germans, Irish and Poles for some reason and the mexicans come to all of them. But I think when mexicans dress up for church you are supposed to call them Italians. So anyways we go blasting down this road real fast, it becomes germane to the story later.

Then we met some girls and my pickup line was "you ever &$%&* in a BMW and they said no and we drove these girls around all night. Well of course our whole evening was based on the dishonest premise that it was Satan's car so it set the tone for telling lots of lies. So we are getting gas at the super America filling station and I start talking crazy crap to the one girl. I ask her if she always rides with strangers. And she said yes cuz she had a gun. So I said I got one too and I am going to go shoot all the Democrats signs in front of Sacred Heart church because I am a R
epublican (point of reference for y'all Rep=Tory, Dem=labor in case you did not know) So I am saying this all loud and some guy is staring at me so I keep talking louder.

We show up at home at 3am and my mom was on the porch with the cops sobbing. I was scared, I though Popeye got killed or something. Then the cops jumped us and said we shot up Sacred Heart Church. Unfortunately we had a 410 on us which is what the cops said was used. So then they took me and my dad to the church so we could see the priest sweeping up the glass and crying. My dad was all quiet and upset, like heart broken. I mean the cops had been at our house for a couple hours telling him how a motorist had flagged down the cops and told them that (he mistook Satan Sanchez for his cousin) Satan's cousin was going to go shoot up the church. And then it happened.

One thing I want to say is this, The cops always say "If you didn't do anything wrong why did you run away". Therefore by that line of reasoning since we didn't run away shouldn't that have meant we were innocent???

It was a mess, my mom believed me when I said I didn't know who did it. We of course did not have the names or numbers of the CYKAS we had been with that night to be our alibi. They didn't arrest us they just said we could not leave town. My dad was all sad about it like he had failed with me to go and do this. He blamed it on my newly found interest in the Skins but I explained that Hitler was a good Catholic and the Catholic church had been good to Nazism in general and his logic was wrong.

I though I was going to get put in Juvey. See they had seen the car we were in leaving the area at a high rate of speed, which was correct and a witness told the cops that we were going to do it so we were pretty screwed. I would not have believed anyone else who was in my shoes.

Anyways I was like locked in my house for the next weeks until they ac
tually caught some guys shooting up some pop machines and they admitted to doing the church. Then my mom kept calling the police and harassing them asking when I was going to go to jail and all that. My dad stayed out of it as he figured I had gotten what I asked for.

I guess I just wanted to tell my story. I think of it myself every time I commit a crime and get away with it. I think about the tiime I almost went down for something I didn't do.

If you visit America, please drive good because lots of deranged people like me are like self appointed traffic cops. I can't bust people for speeding and give them a ticket I can only snap the aerial off their car or punch them at a stoplight. You have too all these people drive crazy and not properly. There is no such thing as road rage, there is an epidemic of people driving poorly and good stout hearted all American men like myself are eager to take a physical stand to correct these people.

You may have heard about the women in Cali who got her dog thrown out into traffic and killed and then like all the animal lovers put up reward money to catch the guy who did it. This was last year. Not one single paper ever mentioned the fact that the woman had caused the accident and was at fault. I think that is very germane to the concept. If she did not have that dumb mutt distracting her and hitting peoples cars it wouldn't have needed thrown into traffic.

Another famous case involved a mean black guy and a crack head by Boblo Island in Detroit. At first we heard how this single mother got thrown off the bridge over a traffic accident. Then the truth came out that the woman had been toked up and hit this guys car 3 times and he pulled her out of her car to beat her and had the common courtesey to ask the onlookers, and this is an exact quote "Does anybody else want a piece of this bitch" then she jumped off the bridge to get away from the crowd.

See w
hat you don't know about us, I am talking about poor buckra trash, that our cars are our most important possession and pride. I know a 1978 Cutlass doesn't seem like much to most people, but when it is all you got and you can't afford insurance you get pretty mad when someone drives like an idiot. A lot of guys out there have every penny in their cars and can't control themselves when someone jeopardizes their car. Rich people can't understand it because their cars are new, cookie-cutter Bull that can be replaced, and they have insurance but like if I want a new fender for my Maserati I would literally have to find one and steal it off a parked car. So I gotta keep my Glock glock next to my clock clock and be reading to knock knock if someone is driving like a fool.

Another thing about road rage in America that is important to know is that lots of people carry guns in their cars. You may think, "wow, that is not safe" and you need to consider that guns effectiveness is measured by their lethality not their "safety". Just like when my wife got a CPO on me and the cops came to take my guns and they were all dismayed that they were loaded, I told them "It doesn't stop too manycrimes with an empty gun". But some cops are cool about guns. One night a big deer ran into my car and was all broken up and floundering around. I called the highway patrol and they said that they would send an officer who would shoot it. I got sick of watching the animal suffer and I shot him with my AKM that I had in the trunk. The state dick comes and looks at the car and the deer and sees all this brass laying on the ground. He was probaly a vietnam vet and knew real guns and he just picks up one of the casings and shakes his head but said "thanks do you know how much papperwork I go through when I fire my gun on duty". I thought that was pretty cool. I don't think he thought I needed an AKM in my car.
Thank you
.

Let me reiterate. People who drive like jerks get shot. Inproper lane usage is punishable by death. And my car is all I got and I will defend it with lethal force.

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