| Product: |
Room 101 |
| Date: |
08/02/05 (275 review reads) |
| Rating: |
 |
Advantages: A chance to get rid of some nasty stuff :o)
Disadvantages: Someone might put me in there :o(
Room 101, interesting concept, a room to which we can banish whatever we like, and for whatever reason we like. Except dislike would be the more appropriate word there, wouldn't it? Anyway, in no particular order, and with varying degrees of importance...
Spiders
~~~~~
There are lots of things I don't like, a few things I positively hate, but just one thing I have a phobia of and that is spiders. Now I'm not taking the word phobia lightly here. It p*sses me off when people say "Ooooohhhh, I have a phobia of...." when they simply mean they have a dislike.
Spiders have the ability to totally turn my world upside down. I have sat up all night in the bathroom because there's been a spider on my bedroom ceiling and no-one around to get rid of it for me. I've been stranded in my bedroom because there's been a spider sitting in my doorway and I've been too scared to even call for help.
Seeing a spider results in one occurrence - my normal way of living stops dead until the offender is removed. My heart beats faster, I sweat, I often cry and shake, and it ain't a pleasant experience.
I'm sorry but spiders have to go. I can't make allowances for their purpose on earth, whatever it's supposed to be, they totally scare the sh*t out of me.
So, spiders, make use of your 8 legs and run far away from me, right into Room 101.
...ations ...isms ...ias
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay, let me explain. A lot of things that end in those letters are bad. We can do without them in life. DiscriminATION, RacISM, sexISM, homophobIA [in fact any phobIA], to name a few.
Why why why? What's the need? What enrichment do they bring into our lives? What useful purpose do they have? None!
To get rid of discrimination would make the world a better place for many many people who suffer at the hands of this senseless entity. And if I could rid us all of phobias, I could let those 8 legged creatures out again couldn't I? I wouldn't be scared of them, and you wouldn't be scared of whatever it is that turns your legs to jelly and makes your blood pressure rocket.
I'm sorry, but most ations, isms, and ias are a big no no. Perhaps the odd one will be let out for good behaviour, but on the whole they do little good, can cause immense harm and they have to go.
So, ations, isms and ias, it looks like I have finally found your purpose. To reside forever in Room 101
Junk Mail
~~~~~~
ARGHHHH!
Sorry about that. But I do feel a little better now. Why, oh why? Doesn't the title speak for itself. JUNK mail, it's JUNK, we don't want it.
How many trees have been cut down to make the paper to send out that letter begging for money to save the local forest? How many computer systems have been ruined by the AOL software disc that entices you to try free hours with them? And ultimately, how many times have you been awoken from your heavenly slumber to answer the door to the postman armed with so much junk mail that he'd have taken half the day to post each bit individually through your letter box?
Aaaaaaargh!
My cats have the right idea, they pee on it!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh again! That’s more mess to clean up, ya know!
Junk mail, there's just no need for it. Really no need for it.... I don't need it, I'm sure you don't need it, and I'm positive that the local postman doesn't need it either.
So, junk mail, allow me to redirect you one last time to the letter box of Room 101
Rude and Egotistic People
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rudeness - what's the point? What does it cost to smile and say "Thank you" to the girl/guy on the supermarket checkout who has just rung through and packed up all your shopping? What does it cost to hold open the door for the person coming along behind you? It costs nothing and takes just a few seconds of your day.
And as for egos - are you so very important and is your time so very precious that you can't do a little something to make someone else's day more pleasant? Oh please...
So, nasty people, swap your rude and egotistical ways for a life. A most suited life awaits you in Room 101.
Polystyrene Cups
~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh yes, wonderful things.... NOT! They keep drinks hot but the outside remains cool. Isn't that a good idea? NOPE! Okay, so you can hold the cup without grimacing, but they keep the drink inside so bl**dy hot that you burn yourself on one tiny sip.
What's the need huh? You buy a hot drink, and you want to be able to drink it without running the risk of 3rd degree burns. A hot liquid needs to cool down.
They can be replaced with those paper cups with the holding handle [recycled paper of course]. Far better for the environment and for your own well being. I'm sorry, but they definitely need to go.
So, polystyrene cups, be gone. I can think only of one real use for you right now...
Go serve your boiling hot drinks to the 8 legged, phobic, junk mail reading, rude and egotistical inhabitants of Room 101.
Rant over, I feel better now ;o)
Summary:
|
|
