My Room 101 Choices (Room 101)

Member Name: GentleGenius

Product:	Room 101
Date:	08/06/08 (153 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Would be an advantage if I truly COULD blast these things into oblivion

Disadvantages: Room 101 being a concept rather than a reality

I've always felt pretty sad that Room 101 is a fictitious place, as if it were real, I'd consider it by far the most useful invention since the wheel.

My allocated space in Room 101, I think would fill up pretty quickly, as the older I get, the less tolerant I am, but here are 20 things I'd exile, going by the mood I'm in tonight.

1. Kids kicking footballs against fences. I want to take that football and ram it hard up the obvious orifice!

2. Wasps. Spiteful and wantonly persistent little creatures who seem to find my net curtains particularly attractive.

3. Mayonnaise, and its apparent "compulsory-ness". I prefer not to plaster my salads and fill my sandwiches or smother my chips in something that tastes remarkably like vomit.

4. Surly gangs of mindless, neanderthal youths cluttering our street corners and town centres with their very existence.

5. People have the nervous habit of constantly clearing their throats. It is largely unnecessary, and if you think it isn't, go see a doctor. A lifelong prescription of super-strength valium should sort it.

6. The pathalogically neurotic extreme section of the anti-smoking brigade, particularly those who have a choking, gasping fit accompanied by a hysterical anxiety attack of monolithic proportions, before you've even lit the cigarette.

7. Insurance companies who won't pay out when you have a genuine claim to make. Legalised racketeering!

8. Those who are unable to keep their speaking voices below the decibel level of a jet plane taking off.

9. Call Centres!!! No explanation needed on this one!

10. Reality TV shows. How on earth anybody can find this kind of drivel in any way entertaining, baffles me.

11. Peppers. The food of the damned! How can anything that taste-wise bears a startling resemblence to nail varnish remover be even remotely appealing?

12. Mobile phones! Surely the most annoying and most grossly mis-used invention in mankind's whole technological history.

13. The "Chav" mentality. So gross, so untidy, so unnecessary, so vulgar, so sickly, so pathetic!

14. Rap/hip-hop music. Please, if you've got something worthwhile to say musically, at least make it to some degree pleasant to listen to.

15. Women (usually aged under 30) who put on those cutesy voices that sound as if they've taken a hefty snort of helium. Sorry girls, it's NOT cute. It's infuriating!

16. Skin tags. One of those not-so-delightful little body blemishes caused by entering a less than youthful age group.

17. Venetian blinds. I'd like to make the person who invented them come and clean mine every day until eternity.

18. Those intensely annoying individuals who arrive at the checkout boasting a trolley piled high with enough junk food to solve all the world's hunger problems, then stand and stare into space while the check-out operator passes all the items over that irritating bleeping thing, and they don't bother to begin looking for their cash and/or credit card, or even think about packing their shopping away until the last item has been scanned.

19. Dreadful re-makes of old classic songs. The one which immediately springs to mind is Madonna (a few years ago) completely murdering Don McLean's "American Pie".

20. People who take their children into Indian restaurants, then complain because chicken nuggets isn't on the menu.

How happy my little world would be without the above, and much more!

Summary: Can somebody please invent a fully functional Room 101?