Everything is rubbish. (Room 101)

Member Name: leicesterpaul

Product:	Room 101
Date:	15/11/08 (122 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: It's good to vent.

Disadvantages: I'm still angry about Sex and the City.

Let's see how intolerant I am, shall we?

1. Sex And The City

It's fair to say I'm not the target audience for this show, but I truly cannot bear its existence. I'd put it so deep in Room 101 that it would be buried under cobwebs for all eternity. It's hard to say why I loathe it so much. Well, not that hard - Sarah Jessica Parker. Shouldn't a style icon be better-looking? And her character is an awful, awful person. She gets upset at a boyfriend for blanking her *because she slept with her ex*. Hello? You're lucky he didn't spray-paint a gypsy curse all over your front door. And set it on fire.

2. "Avid Merrion"

Yeah, I know, his real name's Leigh Francis. However, I feel he traded in his right to a real name when he went on TV being unamusing. People repeating his catchphrases ad nauseam were the eternal blight of my student days. There is a particularly fiery circle of Hell reserved for "wacky" one-joke nonsense-merchants, and that's where he's headed,

3. Boris Johnson

He may be passably amusing on the telly every once in a while, but does that really excuse calling black children "picaninnies"? How, just how did he become Mayor of London? How? Did you see him at the Olympic Closing Ceremony? Were you, like me, waiting for him to do a comedy Chinese voice and make his eyes go slanty with his fingers? Aren't you BLOODY TERRIFIED that the running of one of the most important cities in the world has fallen to him? Can you imagine what 7/7 would have been like if he'd been Mayor then? The mind boggles.

4. Football hooligans

I love football. The highs, the lows, the anticipation. Well, not the lows so much. Last-minute winners. Contentious penalties. Derby matches. The whole shebang. My point is that football is exciting enough. What is the bloody point of punching a complete stranger in the face because he likes another team? Cricket fans don't do it, rugby fans don't do it, snooker fans don't do it. Formula 1 fans don't even do it, and Heaven knows that Formula 1 could do with a bit more excitement because it's extremely dull. Football hooligans give football fans a bad name. It's enough to make you want to punch them, if it weren't for the fact that they like that for some gormless, stupid reason.

5. Pretzels

Ugh. They taste like twigs. Varnished twigs. I've asked people why, why on earth they eat them, and apparently they make beer taste better. Drink better beer. You'll save money in the long run, and you're less likely to suffer high blood pressure from excess salt. They couldn't even choke George W Bush properly. Useless, salt-covered snack that they are. And a while back some complete psycho decided to cover them with chocolate. Is chocolate not nice enough on its own? What is the point of that? Stop ruining beer and chocolate.

I could go on, but the nurse is nearby with a big syringe full of sedative and I don't want to give her the satisfaction.

Summary: Why do I have to give this a star rating?