Boom and bust and a few others for Room 101! (Room 101)

Member Name: edinburgher

Product:	Room 101
Date:	16/02/09 (211 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: If these get locked away we'd have financial stability, self reliance and more peace and quiet

Disadvantages: None

I'm fairly new to the concept of Room 101, having never watched the program (although I am aware of the format). In offering my suggestions to be purged from existence, I've decided that suggesting a concept, a person and an item. They're written in a fairly tongue and cheek manner, so feel free to come back with cheeky comments if you deem them fit.

**No more boom and bust**

I'd have loved to put the credit crunch into room 101, as the collective gloom of dozens of crashed markets, miles of column inches with depressing statistics and the cheerful entrepreneurial spirit of the best of British talent has been firmly kicked somewhere very painful. It seemed difficult though, as this particular phenomenon isn't a concrete concept, but a combination of several poorly-laid plans coming home to roost. I also would have liked to add greed, but it would have been akin to removing free will for a lot of people and would seem to be verging on fascistic!

So I'm settling on adding 'boom and bust' to Room 101, with the regulation of a host of financial markets seeking to prevent the cycle of bubbles that draw in greedy investors and wreck lives and industries alike. Regardless of the implications for free markets, I'd like to see caps on profits made through shares and investments and limits on mortgages and capital accrual to effectively kill off the buy to let market (although the credit crunch has arguably done this for me!) I'm not an economist, but would love to see a more stable stock market etc. - obtained through the aforementioned caps and through steady investment. I strongly suspect that the FTSE 100 wouldn't be doing nearly as badly as it is if investing strength was based on prudence and steadily accrued capital, as opposed to sentiment and rumour. Surely we'd all be better off with reasonable profits over a long period of time, as opposed to huge profits for a lucky few in a short time and ruin for others? I've no idea how I could suggest caps on profits made on property - maybe by forcing the government to build enough homes and by having a minimum period you can own residential property for?

Sorry for the somewhat rambling intro to my list for Room 101, but I'm mortified to see the UK throwing away the traditional values of prudence and sensible investment that helped to make us an economic power in the first place.

Anyone else got some more suggestions for doing away with boom and bust?

**Ok Martin, we get it!**

Martin Lewis is a familiar face on the breakfast TV circuit and has a range of roving reporter duties for a host of programs, as well as being the man behind the hugely popular website www.moneysavingexpert.com

As 'the legend' goes, Martin was an early pioneer for reclaiming unfair bank charges and when on to extol the virtues of this and everything else money saving related. While I applaud the man for his enthusiasm and sense of natural justice, there has to be a point where people take responsibility for themselves without relying on this hyperactive financial crusader!

He leapfrogs from one well-intentioned campaign from the next and manages to come across as really patronising at the same time. A typical exchange between Martin and another journalist (X), will typically go as such:

X: 'So Martin, what should the worried listeners be doing with their money during this period of financial instability?'
Martin Lewis {in a cape}: 'Saving money with the best rate they can get, paying off debts and not defaulting on their mortgages!'

No sh*t Sherlock! I realise that Mr Lewis has to appeal to the widest denominators possible, but his generalisms and general demeanour are now so frustrating as to be verging on the offensive :D It's perhaps an unfair comparison, but it's as if Jesus had died for our sins and come back (in person) to tell us about it every day for the next 2000 years.. So, let's give Martin Lewis one last pat on the back and a kudos sandwich for the journey and shove him firmly into Room 101! If parents and schools taught children any vaguely useful life skills we'd have no need of this prancing prince of fiscal pestering anyway.

I apologise for the excessive hyperbole - it's no worse than Mr Lewis subjects me to every time I see him on GMTV!

**Please pick up your telephone**

{Voiced in a hammy Indian accent} is one of those dreadful mobile phone ringtones that appeal to a certain type of person. Unfortunately, this is typically the sort of person who also enjoys having their mobile 'phone ringtone at maximum volume! For that reason, I'd like to have mobile phone ringtones placed in Room 101.

Train journeys, romantic dinners, trips to the cinema and even business meetings are all events facing the scourge of the annoying ringtone. A general lack of courtesy at setting volume appropriately has led me to believing that a blanket ban would work better than attempts to have people moderate volume. It could be argued that refusing people the right of free expression in this case is brutal and unfair, but think about it for a moment: does the Star Wars theme really express your personality? Does a snippet from a rave album really make anyone think you're anything other than a herd-following muppet?

Also, 'mobile phone creep' is a particularly insidious trend that means that there are now few places where it's possible to escape from these dreaded snatches of banality. For example, mobile phone use at work. In my workplace, it used to be forbidden to even use a 'phone during working hours. Over time, however, our collective over-dependence on these devices means that colleagues think nothing of sitting at their desk while their 'phones blast out the opening bars of the Rocky theme. I'm hardly a slave to my job, but feel that a certain decree of decorum could be maintained as regards disrupting your colleagues?

There is obviously some need for ringtones in certain high-priority situations. For example, those with hearing impairments who may not notice a vibrating alert, or doctors, paramedics and those working in law enforcement could also insist upon ringtone usage. Fair enough - in these cases, standard and inoffensive tones (possibly tested by a panel of Dooyoo reviewers) could be issued by employers such as the Met (much as they would currently administer standard documents such as a criminal records check or an Enhanced Disclosure form). Those with a 'medical' need for a ringtone would be prescribed one by their GP and could choose from a small selection (like choosing NHS glasses frames).

So, for general disruption and for helping in the dumbing down of the populous, I'd like to see mobile 'phone ringtones incarcerated in Room 101 (with the exceptions stated).

Rant over - thanks very much to Dooyoo for letting me get these ones off my chest!

Summary: Some annoying gems to be locked in the Room 101 vault