My 300th Review, 101 Things To Put Into Room 101 (Room 101)

Member Name: wigglylittleworm

Product:	Room 101
Date:	08/09/09 (134 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Fun to have a moan

Disadvantages: These things annoy me

I thought I would do something a bit different for my 300th review. I know it's traditional to write about dooyoo for those milestone reviews but I don't have anything to say which has not been said before. Instead I have decided to have a good moan and shamelessly stolen the 101 things to go into room 100 from Marymoose, thanks for the idea Mary!

Hope you enjoy reading this, let me know what you are going to let into room 101!




1 Horse shit on the road. There's a couple of riding schools and loads of horsey people within about 2 miles of my house. I think it should be law that all horse riders have to carry a giant poop scoop and bag with them, especially the ones whose horses like to crap right next to my car door.

2. 4 by 4s in urban areas. If you're a farmer, forester I will let you off, you can keep your huge tank like car. If you're a yummy mummy then get the damn thing off the road. They obstruct my view when their idiot drivers park too close to junctions and they are generally driven by morons.

3 Mini roundabouts. 4 cars approach them at once and all sit staring at each other wondering who has got right of way. Finally 2 cars move together and crash.


4 Speed bumps in general, ruin the suspension on your car.

5 Zebra crossings on speed bumps. My local council seems determined to make driving as difficult as possible but their new idiotic scheme seems to be to raise all the zebra crossings up onto speed bumps too, always a shock to hit them when you're not expecting them

6 Spiders. I don't care if they eat other insects they are ugly and scare me.

8 Earwigs, they crawl into your ears when you are sleeping and eat your brain. Ok maybe not true but they scare me too thanks to that tale.

9 Txt spk, spclly wen the psn wrtng it is over 30

10 PMSL, such a crude phrase. Not only is it text speak but sounds horrible. Everyone who writes it should go into room 101 too.

11 Game shows, honestly they must be aimed at morons. The latest I saw is called the cube and idiots have got to do things like walk in a straight line or bounce a ball to win some money.

12 Trisha Goddard, such a self righteous moron.

13 Lorraine Kelly. I generally like Scottish people but she deserves a slap for being one of the most irritating people on TV

14 Beauty products that try and blind you with science. I don't care that your moisturiser has alpha vita nucleic peptide complex, it's just a bloody face cream.

15 Womans magazines that tell you to accept your "curves" on one page while touting the latest diet on the next

16 The word curvy when used by womans magazines to mean fat. Oh, look she looks curvy sounds more acceptable than calling her a heifer.

17 Sex and the City, honestly do we care about their bloody Manolas

18 The Daily Mail, whipping middle England into a frenzy with their dodgy stats and misreported guff.

19 Internet trolls, people who act a little bit "gonzo" in order to attract attention to themselves and deliberately stir up trouble to be the centre of attention and annoy other internet users.

20 Competitive parenting. My little darling read at 6 months, well that's nothing, my little precious spoke 6 languages by the time she was out of nappies. You get the picture.

21 Ice Cream. Yuck, I hate it, even when I was a kid I hated it but people always look at me funny when I tell them that. It's cold, wet, sloppy, melty and fattening. What's to like about it.

22 Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall and other food snobs. If everyone ate like you and slaughtered their own pigs then we would never have enough food to feed everyone.

23 Jamie Oliver. Come back turkey twizzler, all is forgiven!

25 Clarissa Dickson Wright, I wish the hunting and shooting lobby would just shoot her and get it over and done with.

26 Big Brother, ok the first couple of series were good but just boring now with a load of wannabes and misfits trying to get their 15 minutes of fame.

27 Yorkshire Terriers. Disgusting, ugly little yappy things. Buy a proper dog like a pit bull or something instead of those freaky little things.

28 Pet Rabbits. I like rabbits in general, especially the ones that run round by my house and always feel so sorry for the ones stuck in cages. They are wild animals after all.

29 Caged birds like budgies. See above.

30 Tartan Tat Shops. They are in any touristy areas of Scotland but the worst ones are in Edinburgh where not only can you buy a polyester kilt for £5.99 they blare bagpipe music out of speakers onto the street.

31 Seagulls. I was attacked by one once when I went close to it's nest. Rats with wings.

32 People who throw the remains of their McDonalds out of car windows, these people are the reason for number 31 being so prevalent.

33 Jordan aka Katie Price. What an attention seeking waste of space she is. We don't care about your marriage break up or your boobs and the fact that you bring the fact you have been raped up just to try and get some sympathy and column inches is just pathetic.

34 Westlife, murdered many a good song with their overhammed Irish accents.

35 Chick lit, too pink and sweet and fluffy for my liking

36 Womans clothing sizes, why can there not be some kind of consistency between the shops

37 Loan Consolidation adverts. Don't do it people, you'll just end up in a worse place. Go and get some debt advice instead.

38 Ikea. I know they sell some nice things, but the whole Ikea experience is a total nightmare, walking round in all those crowds makes me feel like I'm going to be trampled.

39 JML and all their wacky products with their annoying infomercials.

40 Especially the ad for the foot grater, makes me want to throw up every time I see it. Seriously, I have to turn away from the screen when it is on.

41 Nice sunny days. I'm both a pale wee freckled Scot and I take medication which makes me even more sun sensitive so when people go on about a nice summers day it makes me want to hide. I'm miserable in the sun, I've been sunburned in Scotland in March before so imagine me in the heat of summer and have some sympathy.

42 People in supermarket car parks. It's still a road people, stop just walking in front of cars and wait till nothing is coming till you cross the road. One day I'm going to run a couple down just to teach the rest a lesson.

43 Furry Crocs. I love my normal crocs, they are fab and comfy but people wearing furry crocs should have their feet cut off and sent to room 101.

44 People who leave soggy tea bags on work surfaces or in the sink instead of putting them in the bin. Yes, sister, this includes you!


45 Grey hairs. I've had my first couple and it upset me so much. I don't want to get old!

46 Paris Hilton, no need for an explanation here!

47 The Monarchy, time to abolish them and bring Britain into the 21st century.

48 Fergie, Duchess of York. What a loathsome creature, those programmes where she goes and tells poor people on housing estates how to live their lives are just cringeworthy.

49 Page 3. Is there any need to have boobs on page 3 of the newspaper these days? Sends out horrible messages to girls who will see them every day.

50 Women who swim along with their friends chatting the whole length of the pool. Invariably they swim at a snails pace and don't care they are in everyone else's way.

51 American tourists who think that just because a long lost ancestor was Scottish that it makes them a member of the clan McDonald.

52 TV shopping channels. I can't believe anyone watches them let alone buys the guff they sell.

53 Hand driers in public toilets. They never dry your hands properly and spray any bacteria all over the place. Bring back paper towels.

54 Overcharging for public toilets. The bus station near me charges 30p to use the toilets. Extortionate enough if they were pristine but they always stink of stale urine. I want my money back.

55 The toilets in swimming pool changing rooms. They are always puddles on the floor and it smells really bad in there. Just walking on the floor makes you feel like you are wading in other peoples waste.

56 Shops that charge for carrier bags. No I don't want a bloody bag for life, I've already got about 20 at home but I forgot them. I've just spent a small fortune in your shop and you have the cheek to try and charge me 10p for a flimsy carrier bag.

57 Farmers markets, full of food snobs (both the buyers and sellers) and charging £2 for a nobbly potato.

58 Facebook friends collectors. You know the person, they ask to add you as a friend and you click on their profile only to find out they have 3000 friends already by adding friends of friends and every member of every facebook group they belong to. You're not fooling me, I know you're not really that popular and that all those friends are just to cover up your feelings of inadequacy.

59 Twitter. I just don't see the point of it. My daughter is addicted, she was even tweeting from her mobile when we were in the supermarket yesterday!

60. Passive aggressive people, you know the type who make smart arsed comments loud enough to hear but never actually say things to your face. I've put them in their place several times by going up to them and confronting them.

611 Steamed up glasses, happens every time I open the oven door.

62 Buckfast tonic wine, made by the nice monks at Buckfast Abbey and drank by the neds of Scotland.

63 Animal circuses, I thought they were banned already till the one I won tickets to earlier this year had an elephant, horses and a camel in the ring.

64 Barbeques, they sound like a great idea at the time but they always end up a massive disappointment. After you spend 3 hours lighting the bbq then the food ends up burnt on the outside and raw inside.

65 The mens rights movement, especially the goons families need fathers who seem to just want to stop paying maintenance for their kids.

66 The Cheeky Girls

67 Diet coke, a foul chemical brew.

68 Bunches of flowers. The ultimate romantic gift, flowers that are already dead and will rot away within a week.

69 Perez Hilton, the ultimate gossip queen. A totally pointless person.

70 Grammar Nazis, who cares if you have split an infinitive.

71 Cyclists on the road, especially the ones who cycle after dark wearing black with only one of those silly little flashing red lights to show they are there.

72 Tractors on the road, why do I always have to get stuck behind them?

73 People who don't know how to indicate

74 People who talk loudly on their mobile phones in public

75 Teenagers who play music on their phones in public

76 The boom-da-boom from someones headphones when they have got their music turned up too loud

77 Friends reunited, where people go to lie about how successful they are to their old school friends.

78 School reunions, why would I ever want to see those people again?

79 Coronation street, that show is past it's sell by date.
80 you've been framed, whats so funny about video clips of people falling over?

81 The Betterware Catalogue....does anyone really buy their overpriced and useless gadgets?

82 Jehovas Witnesses, please don't come to my door to talk to me about religion.

83 Telesales calls. Especially when they ask for Mrs S, the old woman who lived here before me and I tell them she is dead. They apologise then try to sell me whatever it is they are selling.

84 Those sales calls that are just a recorded message, normally in an American voice telling me I have won a holiday.

85 Calories, wouldn't life be much simpler if they didn't exist and we didn't need to count them.

86 Diets, they might work short term but in the long term 90% of people who do them end up fatter.

87 Supernanny, suddenly a new generation of parents are putting their kids on the naughty step thanks to her

88 Parenting experts who think they know better than you how to bring up your child

89 Donald Trump, an egomaniac who wants to build a golf course over a lovely area of unspoiled Scotland.

90 Camping. Sounds like a great idea till you have to walk half a mile in the middle of the night in the rain to go to the toilet.

91 Caravans, especially on the A9 when I can't pass them.

92 Sunbeds, what's wrong with being pale and interesting?

93 Aerobics, yuck! I can think of far more fun ways to work up a sweat.

94 GMTV, the programme for morons, presented by morons.

95 Liz Jones, the pathetic Daily Mail columnist and fashion writer.

96 People who crack their knuckles, yes daughter, including you.

97 People who crack any other joints, again daughter, this means you!

98 People who use so much perfume or deodorant you can taste it when you go past them.

99 Canned laughter on comedy programmes, generally a good sign the programme is massively unfunny.

100 Shopping centres, especially the big ones they are so bland and boring.

101 Astrology, no the alignment of the planets does not determine how your day will go.

Summary: What will you put into room 101