Rejects! (Room 101)

Member Name: DavidJWest

Product:	Room 101
Date:	05/03/02 (177 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Bin them

Disadvantages: Not really

There are many things in the world today which annoy me, but I suspect these are things which everyone else would agree with. Things like war, famine and terrorism all should be in Room 101, so to be a bit different I am only consigning my own personal minor niggles into this hallowed vault.

1. Traffic Jams
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Well we love queuing in this country don't we? So it is only natural that we should take the Americans lead and develop drive in queues, otherwise known as traffic jams. How much time and money is wasted in this pointless excercise is ridiculous, I heard on the radio the average person will waste 7 years of their life stuck in traffic jams! You don' get that for murder!

And what are the powers that be doing about it? Not enough that's for sure, the alternative to getting in your own horseless carriage is not attractive and unpracticle in many cases. I wrote to my MP last year with some practical ideas to help and didn't even get the courtesy of a reply, I am sure he could claim the price of the stamp back on his expenses couldn't he?

One idea I had was to incentivise large companies to allow their employees to work flexi-time. Maybe some kind of tax break could be given to companies agreeing to do this. If I had the choice of going to work when the roads were quiet or busy I know which I would take, it saves me two hours a day going when the roads are clear and I am sure others would follow suit reducing congestion.

2. Weather Men and Women
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To be more correct it's the forecasts they purvey and not the people themselves, I quite like some of the ladies.

"There may be occasional light showers in the North East". Hand waved over a large tract of England from Worcester to Berwick. Picture of a black cloud with one blue dot coming down and some yellow lines poking out of the side.

I'll get a job as a
lottery predictor, "They will be six numbers chosen at random, the numbers 1 and 4 may well be invoved."

I understand it is a tough thing to predict but until we can be more precise is there any point in it, maybe just have local forecasts as it can often be different weather from my house in deepest Yeadon to that in civilised parts of Leeds.

3. Geri Halliwell
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No doubt Geri will be pleased that I am paying some attention to her and that another dozen or so Dooyoosers will have to read about her.

I actually like her from a purely asthaetic point of view when she was Ginger Spice, she had a certain charm about her, until she opened her mouth that is.

Since leaving the fab five she seems to have lost the plot. Replacing her voluptuous looks with a scrawny blonde bimbo appearance. In fact if she carries on in this way she will soon look like the Milky Bar Kid, anyone else see the resemblance?

I do actually have sympathy for her, a tragic character who craves attention but ultimately is lonely and unhappy.

4. Claim Farmers
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You probably have seen adverts from companies like "Claims Direct" where you can get thousands of pounds for tripping over a paving stone.

That was OK but since then there has been a proliferation of these claims farmers as they are called. The trouble is, who pays for all these claims? Of course it is you and I the mugs who pay insurance and invariably never claim ourselves.

Fair enough if you do have a genuine claim but I suspect a lot of the money is paid out to people who aren't exactly deserving.

I was very amused by the recent Pot Noodle adverts, a spoof of these claim farmers ads. "Claim 10 grand if you find poodle in your Pot Noodle" - LOL.

5. Cigarettes
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Sorry to anyone who is addicted to the great god of nicotine but I put
this in as it has killed several members of my family prematurely. My grandad died at 52 with chest problems aggravated by smoking and his wife died a few years later.

I can imagine when Sir Walter Raleigh came back from his adventures in the New World and was granted an audience with Queen Elizabeth.

"What discoveries do you have for me Sir Walter" says the Queen.

"This new wonder called tobacco" says the eager young explorer, and he brings forth some leaves.

"What do you do with it" the Queen exclaims.

"You dry the leaves, roll them up, stick them in your mouth and set fire to them" Wally explains.

"Why?" Liz utters incredulous.

"So you can inhale the smoke"

I am surpried this caught on really, surely colonic irrigation is more logical. We have enough people being killed through wars and famine without needing this. I am sorry for all those people who are addicted to the drug, hope that you are trying to give it up and get help to do so.

There, rant over!

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