Please Let Me Bin Them (Room 101)

Member Name: milmol

Product:	Room 101
Date:	19/06/02 (126 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: All irritating things would vanish.

Disadvantages: None

At last, a chance to be rid of all the annoying things in life.
Where shall I start???????

1. Silly road signs, i.e. when I’m driving home at midnight, through a village near my home, I see a sign indicating old people are crossing the road, WHY????? What are these two old people with their walking sticks doing out at this time of night, and why are they crossing the road together unaccompanied? The same applies for dears and horses.
Another silly sign says temporary bridge, now this sign has been there for as long as I can remember. Why do I need to know this? Will I come along one day and the bridge will have been removed? Will someone say ‘It’s your fault you fell in a big hole because we told you it was a temporary bridge.’

2. Dog faeces. Now I have a dog, and she is prone to emptying her bowels wherever she fancies, i.e. in front of someone’s gate or in the middle of a cricket pitch. That is why I always have a dollop bag in my handbag, i.e. a cheap carrier bag. Why can’t other people do the same?

3. If you are phoning about. press 1. If you are phoning about ………press 2. You know the sort. All I want to do is speak to a human being, but to do that I have to listen to 101 recorded messages and press enough numbers to develop repetitive strain injury. And I’m paying for the call, give me a person to answer any day.

4. Freddies. This is a dreaded word in our house. Freddies mean flying daddy long legs, so called because they resemble the fingers/blades of Freddy Crougar. Now no matter where you run, or how fast, a Freddy will follow you. I have spent many an evening sweltering with the windows closed because of Freddies. Burn them all I say.

5. People who jump queues. You know, the ones who say ‘I only have this one item do you mind’?
I always feel like saying ‘Do you mind if I poke you’re eyes out?’ after all I’
m not stood in this queue because I have nothing better to do.

6. Insurance companies. Although you have never made a claim in 25 years, and really did have your handbag stolen in that pub, they will come up with 55 reasons why they cannot pay you.

7. Periods. Why do we need them? What other creature can bleed for 7 days a month and not die. If I no longer need to fertile i.e. my family is complete or I am just too long in the tooth/wise to reproduce any more, why should I have them? After all, why have a bread bin if you don’t buy bread?

8. New and improved items, do the manufacturers think we are stupid. For the last god knows how many years we have been using the version that they convinced us was brill, how did they improve it?

If all these things were banished, life would be much easier.

Summary: