Room 101, the only place for horrible s**t like this... (Room 101)

Member Name: angry chris

Product:	Room 101
Date:	21/11/02 (106 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Bye-Bye!!!!

Disadvantages: Sometimes these templates are really silly, aren't they???

In keeping with my username, it would make good sense to list the things that I truly
hate most, and thus sent into Room 101 oblivion. Thus, in no particular order, my pet
hates are:

GEORGE W BUSH

This intellectually challenged moron somehow managed to ride to power on a wave
of his daddies popularity and the financing of big business. He also cheated during
the election. Once there, he has managed to bomb a desert country, found absolutely
none of the people who attacked his nation, and decided he fancied finishing off his
father’s war in Iraq. He has presided over an economic slump and a variety of
economic scandals, in which he and his mates are thoroughly involved up to their
empty heads.
Despite this record of incredible failure and an IQ lower than most peoples shoe size,
he remains the worlds most powerful, and thus most dangerous man. He has a finger
on the switch which activates the worlds most powerful military, and he seems more
than happy to press the button at seemingly random times. He is a warmonger of
unparalleled equal since the death of Stalin in the fifties.
They should have left him to choke on his pretzel...

WASPS

Bees, I understand. They fly around, collect pollen, make honey and that jelly stuff,
and sting you if you are daft enough to sit on one. Wasps, on the other hand, are a
different kettle of fish altogether. They instinctively know that, unlike bees, they can
sting you and not die. So they fly about, producing absolutely bugger all of any use,
and randomly sting any unfortunate they come across. Nine times out of ten, it
seems, that unfortunate is me.
Being allergic to pain like most people, this is rather inconvenient. It gets worse as
the year goes on. Come October, they seem to know they are about to die, and
immediately begin a rampage of stinging absolutely anything that moves and isn̵
7;t a
wasp. What is the point of these creatures?

THE PREMIERSHIP.

Let me firstly say, I love football. Utterly. Give me a choice between Newcastle
winning a bloody trophy, and winning the lottery, and I really would have to stop and
think. So this should be an odd choice.
For years, ITV bemoaned the fact that they lost all rights to top-flight football in
England. Then 2 years ago, they out-bid the BBC and brought us the Premiership:
their flagship in an exciting new package of Football shows. It was to be shown in a
prime time Saturday TV slot. It was pants. It had almost more adverts than it did
analysis. It was universally panned, and then shifted back to it’s original, “closing
time” hours.
If you support one of the “Big-Three”: Man Utd, Liverpool or Arsenal, you’ll love
The Premiership, as your teams are shown as the main games week in, week out.
When they do not play on a Saturday like everyone else, there is an extra highlights
show on a Sunday. If you support anyone else, you will probably hate this
programme.
This all started last season for me, when by some miracle, Newcastle went into the
last couple of months of the season still challenging for both the League and the FA
Cup. We had beaten Arsenal and Leeds Utd to go top at Christmas, and had hung
around until the start of March when we were still right up there. Sky Sports and their
pundits were busy showing the top 4 teams “run-ins”, and trying to call the closest
title race for years. ITV were busy dismissing Newcastle as “lucky, with a weak
squad who would probably end up sixth, which would still be a good season.” What
really galled is that eventually, they were proved half right, our best player got injured
and we slipped to and finished 4th.
Never mind, we geordies said, we were now a top 4 side again, and in
the Champions
League, so they couldn’t ignore us this year, right? Wrong. They continue to show
the same teams, week in, week out at the expense of nearly every other team. The
biggest insult was when they tried to show our glamorous Champions League match
with Juventus on the cable only ITV News channel. After a massive backlash, they
changed their minds, and showed it on ITV2 (For those of you who don’t know about
football, Newcastle won).
What was most satisfying though was watching them eat humble pie last week when
Newcastle made history by losing their first 3 games and then won their next three to
qualify. Ally McCoist sniveling that he was “delighted to be proved wrong” made me
laugh for hours. Especially as that ITV favourite, Liverpool, had gone crashing out
the day before.
BBC may have been only a little better, but they were still better. Bring back Match
of the Day!!

CLAIMS DIRECT(AND OTHER SUCH-LIKE)

These filthy parasites are the precise reason why lawyers have such a bad name. They
promise to win your compensation case or they will charge you nothing. They also
promise that you will receive all of your compensation. They are of course, dirty
liars.
They are responsible for the despicable “Compensation Culture” which has filtered
here from the US. If you fall over when you are walking to work, no longer will you
merely suffer a slight feeling of embarrassment, dust yourself off and go on your way.
Now people run straight to their solicitor to see who they can sue, and for how much.
I always have a mental image of hard-up pensioners deliberately taking a “fall” in the
supermarket as they do their shopping, and then suing them to make a few quid.
A perfect example of how much of an effect these scumbags have had was the other
day when my brother collared me after he had finished wo
rk, moaning that he had
accidentally been locked in as he had went to go home, and he and several others had
to leave via a fire exit. After I had stopped laughing, he then asked me who exactly
he should be trying to make a claim against, arguing that SURELY he was entitled to
some sort of claim. I sh*t you not.
Claims Direct, the firm which started all this crap here, I am delighted to say, are now
virtually bankrupt. It turns out that, surprise surprise, you did NOT get all the money
you won. I am just amazed that some people really believed that solicitors would go
to all the effort of advertising their firm on national TV and the like, only to provide a
free, non-profit making service. Are people really that stupid???
“So if you have an accident or fall at home or work”, remember, it was probably
you’re own daft fault. DO NOT try and sue someone, you greedy bast***s. Just
don’t do it again.

TONY BLAIR.

I really try to not argue about politics, but I was one of the people who voted in this
ba***rd based on the Manifesto he set out, so I am allowed to complain . I did not
vote him in so that he could ensure that by the time I have finished my degree, I will
be thousands of pounds worth of debt. I did not vote him in to rapidly increase the
amount of money I pay to give myself lung cancer, or to drive my car. And I
definitely did not vote him in so that Britain would become a simpering puppet,
dragged along on the coattails of a megalomaniac US president. Needless to say, I
will not vote for him again.

HOLLYWOOD.

Hollywood, it appears to me, have decided that the whole point to their existence is to
change history. The most worrying thing is that in this age where books are becoming
less and less popular, there is a real danger that they might succeed.
In Hollywood, everything good is American. Everything.
Take Independence Day, a
moderately entertaining virtual remake of War of the Worlds, except this time, nature
doesn’t interfere with the aliens and kills them, it is Americans who come up with a
brilliant plan and save the world.
In Braveheart, William Wallace is portrayed as a heroic saviour, fighting of the evil
English. In truth he was a brutal murderer and violent pillager. Not according to Mel
Gibson he aint.
Observe the hideous propaganda that is Rocky 4, when Rocky avenges his best friends
death by overcoming the “Evil” Russian champion, Ivan Drago. Rocky trains in
mountains and with logs on the fire, the way nature intended. Drago is pumped full
of steroids.
What really sticks in the throat is the way they have tried to change the shape of
WW2. In “Pearl Harbour”, we see Americans heroically shooting at the Japanese
attackers. Even people who were actually there at the time admitted that in truth, they
s**t themselves and ran for cover. Worse still is U-571, a submarine film where
Americans crack the enigma code. Americans!!!
Hollywood should stick firmly to what it does best: making people rich, holding
wonderfully self-obsessed award shows, and making things on film go boom.

OVERCOOKED EGGS.

Is there anything worse than waking up in the morning, feeling rather peckish, and
chucking some eggs in a pan of water and boiling them, along with meticulously
cutting up pieces of toast soldiers, only to find that the bloody yoke is rock hard? Or
when you fancy a greasy fry-up, nipping to the local greasy spoon and dip your fried
bread into the yoke only to see the bread start to crumble.? No, I thought not.

OTHERS.

Simply to avoid repeating what I have written in other ops, I have neglected to
include the following things that I would otherwise have launched, at great speed, into
Room 101:
- Br
itish Porn: A waste of good video cameras.
- Pop Music: Manufactured filth.
- McDonalds: Should carry a government health warning.

I am sure that some people will disagree with my selections, but that is what makes
our species great: the ability to think for ourselves. These are my own choices, no
more than that.

Thank you for taking the time to read this opinion.

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