It's Room 101 or Murder (Room 101)

Member Name: ping_pong

Product:	Room 101
Date:	27/02/04 (181 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Prevents me from becoming a convicted murderer, Rids the world of many annoyances

Disadvantages: Lots of people will disappear

Don?t you just love a good rant? I do, so I decided to join in and share the things that drive me insane and produce violent impulses. Hopefully these will then be banished down into the deepest, darkest depths of Room 101 where they shall never annoy me again! Well I can always hope...


* Flatmates *

I am a first year at Uni, and thus could not choose my flatmates. I think they got a computer program to work out who would be most incompatible and sorted us like that. Or maybe they just put all our names in a hat and picked them out at random. I don?t know. But I have a number of issues with my flatmates, which can be generalised out to anyone who demonstrates the same annoying behaviour. They can all go in Room 101!

Music ? I do not like Michael Jackson. The guy opposite me in the flat does. He also likes to play his CD?s very loud. It has sometimes reached the stage where his music drowns out mine, from across the corridor! We have been labelled ?The Michael Jackson Flat? thanks to his constant playing of the same couple of CD?s. One day I will just snap and chuck them out the window. I can see it coming. But it is not just him. Anyone who plays their music inconsiderately loud is going in. In fact the Michael Jackson CD?s can join him, and all the others can suffer the same torment as us.

Noise ? We are students, we aren?t supposed to be quiet. Living in Uni accommodation you don?t expect it to be peaceful and quiet ? I make my own share of noise at times. But not usually at 2am. There is nothing worse than having a 9am lecture to get up for and lying there unable to sleep as your flatmates have a drunken party down the hall. When they return from a night out they always seem to end up trying to cook something, or compl
ete some task that is hard enough while you are sober. Like trying to put up a camp bed in the corridor. The couple of us who are trying to sleep venture out in our pyjamas and yell at them, which leads to drunken apologies, but they always do the same thing after the next night out. People who do this have to go into Room 101 or I will get violent, and blood stains would have a bad effect on our kitchen floor.

Washing Up ? It is the classic student problem. Half of the people in our flat do their washing up once they have eaten, then put it away. The other half do none of theirs. What is even worse is sometimes they borrow our stuff and then don?t even wash that! After a few days the food gets so dried onto the plates that it is a nightmare to clean. Every week or so I give up and wash everything, but by the end of the day the pile of plates will start to grow again. It is very demoralising. I know that washing it for them will only encourage them to keep leaving it, but I can?t stand the kitchen being so messy. Room 101 is the only answer! That or the murder option again...

GRR! I am now adding another section to this even though I am nearly done with the whole list ? people who ?borrow? food without asking. I just went to get some new frozen chicken breasts out of the freezer to defrost overnight and two of the four in the packet had been eaten. They were the only chicken breasts in the freezer so it?s not as if they could be mistaken for someone else?s! When I find out who it was who has eaten them, if they are not in Room 101, I am going to choke them to death on the two remaining ones. Damn my flatmates!


* Abuse of the English Language *

I suffer from typos as much as anyone else, so I am not ranting about them. It is mainly grammatical errors that I hate. I didn
?t do English A Level or anything, so I am not at super grammar-Nazi levels, but it is the simple errors that just make me wince to read them. Things like ?they grabbed they?re coats? and ?I think their coming here later?, or ?three blue car?s went by?. Reading sentences like that does sometimes cause me physical pain. One-off mistakes fine, but where it happens consistently I feel a nervous twitch starting.

Another abuse is txt language and other such writing. It?s fine where it is supposed to be; in text messages, chat rooms, msn, etc. Even in the comments sections here on dooyoo ? you only want to leave a short message, it?s informal. Perfectly fine. It?s where you get huge articles written in txt language that it gets annoying, or where it gets extreme. It?s just a nightmare to try and read! PeoPL3 Wh0 tyPe l1Ke +h15 in ?l33t sp34k? all the time, even in articles like ops, need to learn to type more coherently or down they go!


* Shopping Trolleys *

Now most people would probably rant about shopping trolleys that won?t go in a straight direction, or that clutter up canals and things. Trolleys with wobbly wheels can be quite annoying, but I want a different aspect of them to go into Room 101. We are right next to a huge Tesco, but it is still at least fifteen minutes from the edge of the car park to our house. With heavy shopping that is a bit of a trek. So, being you typical inventive students, we tended to try and borrow the trolleys to push out shopping back. This was good. We saved our arms and a few students were employed by Tesco to collect the trolleys from our site every now and then. Everyone (barring Tesco) were happy.

Then they had a clamp down. As well as the usual £1 lock deterrent on some, which we just avoided in the first place, new measures were put
into place. They dug up the edge of the car park and put some magnetic thing in there, and on the trolleys. This has the effect of making the wheels seize up if you try and take the trolleys out of the car park. The spoilsports. We now have to lug our shopping back by hand, and can?t use the trolleys for other fun activities such as trolley racing or for pushing people around in. Put the trolley borrowing deterrents into Room 101 and let us students regain our shopping trolley fun! We?ll even promise to push the trolleys back to the store every now and then.


* Reality TV *

I have managed to avoid watching any of Big Brother, Survivor, Pop Idol, Fame Academy, I?m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here and any of the other crappy reality shows that have taken over television in the past couple of years. And that is not just because I don?t have a TV ? it?s only been since September that I have been TV-less. I have just never liked the idea of hours watching gormless individuals try to become famous just for the sake of being famous. Also the whole concept of voting people off of shows just seems to be cruel, and designed to cause the maximum amount of emotional turmoil as well as generate large amounts of money from the phone charges. The newspapers could also cut down on their coverage of these programmes ? I don?t care about Jordan and Peter Andre, really I don?t! Event TV, no thank you, down you go please. In fact could I squeeze soaps in there too? And what about chat shows? Pleeease?


There is quite a bit more which I would also like to try and fit in Room 101, but I really could go on all day. Littering, rudeness, people not holding open doors, the seeming fascination with the lives of ?celebrities?, those people with c
lipboards who want you to sign up to give money to some cause, or even worse want to share their views about God with you. If I wanted to talk to someone about God I would go to church or something, fools! People who at judge at first glance and think because I have short hair I am therefore male. Hint ? look a bit lower, sort of around the chest area... People who mock The Matrix, all three of the films. Ice lollies that fall off of the stick when you try and lick them, discovering you had a tissue in the pocket of some jeans you just washed, never having the right change for buses/washing machines/a newspaper. Windows that only open about 5cm, vacuum cleaners that just shift the dust and fluff around, in fact dust itself too. People who walk very slowly, often next to each other, taking up all the pavement. Traffic lights that are never in your favour, car drivers that seem to aim for pedestrians. Light coloured t-shirts that act as a magnet for tomato sauce. Vending machines that plan to charge you 50p for one Mars bar. Discovering the eggs you just bought have been squashed by a can of beans. People who mock Tesco Value products. People who just deride all students, nasty tuition fees, lecturers who chose to keep teaching when the strikes were on so I was the only person I knew who still had to get up for 9am lectures. Those buzzer alarms that give me a heart attack every time I hear them. People who mock Radio Four, and people who deliberately tread on snails.

Hmmm... I think maybe I should stop now before I get completely carried away. Please join me in campaigning against these monstrosities, then maybe they will plague us no longer!

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