Save For Your Insanity (Saving tips)

Member Name: marandina

Product:	Saving tips
Date:	29/01/02 (186 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Save dosh

Disadvantages: Are these jokes funny?

Well here it is – the opinion I never wanted to write.

The inspiration for this one comes from the lovely Sue Magee who left me a message asking me to writing some Banking & Finance ones.

Why the reluctance? I've spent the last 18 years immersed in banking and desperately try to escape the world of hard cash and endless figures when I'm in leisure time. Be prepared ~ this op goes on a bit but if you want to save time then you can either: (a) read the 10 money tips in the first half of the op (b) read the not so sensible suggestions in the second half (c) read the whole darn lot although, surely, only my mom (ah..she loves me) would do this? The not so sane suggestions were included to give me an incentive to knock this one out so forgive me the indulgence and my warped sense of humour.

So in the immortal words of Fluff Freeman...

Straight in at no.10....Generating more income
You can make money by generating more income. Brilliant! Yes, I know but a lot of folks are blinkered when it comes to things like this. If you spend time listing your income and outgoings only to find that you have a deficit, then one solution can be to increase the amount of money coming in. This might be your partner finding a part time job, finding extra work yourself (writing ops on Dooyoo?); selling a service e.g. making pottery and so on. I've known plenty of people that take out additional loans to keep their standard of living going only to find that they need to keep increasing the loan leading to a spiral of debt.

At no.9: Savings Accounts
Interest rates on savings accounts get out of date so quickly. Often, banks or building societies role out new accounts with market leading rates only to leave the rate on yours looking as healthy as an albino in a snowdrift. Review your accounts regularly. The top 10 best deals feature regularly in decent publications like The Times and there are plenty of web comparators lik
e MoneyXtra.com. Savings accounts can prove a little complicated with notice periods and tiered balances but, generally, the online accounts carry the best rates as they have lower overheads. This may mean a delay of a few days when transferring money as you won't have access to the branches but if you link it to a current account then you should be able to do instantaneous transfers between accounts. Generally, most financial institutions will try to stop you queuing up so you will find rates higher on machine-based accounts that come with a plastic card.

No.8 Bank Accounts
Now a highly competitive market with banks willing to transfer all of your direct debits and standing orders across for free. The big guns are offering credit interest e.g. Abbey National 3% and Halifax 2% which is a step forward from the more traditional 0.1% payable on these accounts. Higher rates are payable from the Internet operators as, again, overheads are lower as long as you are happy to deal via The Net or telephone. Traditional sources include First Direct, Smile, Cahoot, and Intelligent Finance etc. Again, use the myriad of online comparators available. There is a general reluctance to switch bank accounts due to the perceived hassle factor. In fact, the 3 things folks will not change are their religion, football team and bank accounts. Don't be lulled into this inertia. It's costing you money!

No.7: Car Insurance
For those lucky enough to own their own set of wheels then it must feel like car insurance gets more expensive every year. There are certainly more accidents these days and insurance companies will pass the costs on to the consumer. As ever, it pays to shop around and there are some online resources that can help. Screentrade.com is an example of a company offering to compare deals on your behalf. However, beware cheapo quotes from unknown companies. When it comes to making a claim they can be masters at procrastination and you'll f
ind it's time to retire from driving due to poor eyesight by the time they eventually pay up. Also, cheaper quotes can arise from cutting back on cover provided e.g. larger excesses, no courtesy car and so on. Even so, the differences in premiums can be huge so look around, use an online comparator or rely on a broker (loads in the phone book).

No.6 Tax allowances
Everybody had an annual tax-free allowance currently £4535. Often, partners who don't work or don't earn anywhere near their annual allowance have this overlooked. Higher rate taxpayers in particular should consider having investments held in their non-tax paying partners names. This means that by registering a form R85 at the bank/building society then none of the interest paid will be taxed. Once the form is signed your bank/building society should do the rest for you. Also, each year individuals have a £7000 ISA (Individual Savings Account) to utilise. In its most basic form this amounts to a conventional account paying gross interest (no tax deducted) so it really is a no lose situation. You can only put £3000 into the cash version but it's worth sitting down with one of the staff to explore the range of options for your full allowance.

No.5 Buildings and Contents
Usually subject to annual review, this is an easy way to shop around and save some cash. Again, online comparators will help to find you a good deal. Beware the trap of not getting like for like cover. Insurance companies get premiums down by scrimping on cover. Larger excesses, not such good cover, complex claims procedures can all make it seem a mistake when switching based on premium alone. Read through the insurance schedule to make sure it meets your needs before you switch.

No.4 Credit Cards
This is a huge market with a bewildering array of offers. You need to decide whether you are going to clear your balance each month or not. If not, then you are probably better off with a good b
alance transfer deal of which there is a multitude. If you do then cashbacks are a good idea as you can find deals that give you 1% over the course of the year usually paid on anniversary. This can be a big help at Christmas time. It doesn't make sense to sit on a card with a high APR so shop around and don't be afraid to have more than one card. You can get your credit limit set at a low figure if you worry about succumbing to temptation.

No.3 Consolidation
Store cards, credit cards and easy to obtain loans can leave a legacy. Often you can end up with a high priced burden that you take for granted. Total your debts; add up your total monthly payment and go and get a quote to consolidate it into one loan. You can either have it unsecured or have a lower rate by securing it against your property. Care needed if you take up one of the TV offers as secured loans can come with hidden charges and stretch your debt over an inordinate amount of time. You can find yourself with a longer sentence than a triple murderer caught with an axe in one hand and the warder's head in the other. There are plenty of outlets available to help you e.g. banks, building societies, specialist lenders etc.

No.2: Utilities
Gas and electricity markets were de-regulated some time ago giving the consumer a choice of provider. Switching is pretty easy with the prospective new supplier doing the work for you. They will need the S number from your bill to help but, other than that, you shouldn't need to do much else. No changes to pipes etc are required. The name on your next bill is just different. Again, comparators are around on the Net with links via MoneyXtra.com available to direct you.

No.1: Re-mortgaging
This is most people's single biggest item of monthly expenditure. You can save thousands by shopping around. Most lenders will pay the costs involved in transferring your mortgage across from your existing source including valuation
fee and solicitor's costs. There are lots of different schemes including discounts; trackers, capped and fixed rate deals. With so many different versions it pays to sit down and have a look at your priorities over the next few years. If you are young and have a family you may want the security of a fixed rate so that you can plan your budget. Whatever you decide it makes sense to discuss it properly either face to face or over the telephone. Applying is incredibly easy these days with phone applications the norm and Internet becoming ever more popular. The golden rule is don't sit on a variable rate. Either challenge your existing lender to sort out a competitive deal or shop around.

"Come on boy, come on girl, succumb me to the beat surrender" Beat Surrender by The Jam. What's that got to do with this op? Well, nothing really apart from the great Paul Weller line "...and bullshit is bullshit, it just goes by different names." which probably sums the next bit up.

The next section is just my living out a fantasy of being a comedy scriptwriter. Any comedy agents out there, I am cheap and available. Any comedians reading this, my material is all my own handy work so hands off. If you aren't into silly humour then please exit stage door right. If you are, then welcome through the double doors of my imagination.

Ticket please sir/madam. OK, it's the seat towards the back, left of centre. Rustling of popcorn and sounds of slight coughs with discrete hands to mouths. Shhhh…it's about to start. Curtains part and...

No.10: For those people with large council tax bills consider moving to a cheaper area. If this means leaving Sarf Landon for Newcastle then don't worry, there's 3 phrases that will get you by..."Howay tha lads" "Alreet pet" and "Gerrof me Oz"

No.9: Visit Mad Mick the moneylender and borrow £7 million quid. Buy 7 million lines o
n the National Lottery and you'll reduce the odds to 50:50 for a win. If you don't then there is an FBI witness protection scheme available at newidentity.com, which you should contact with haste.

No.8: Tell your partner that you have a deficit of outgoings over income and that they need to go out to work as well. Fix your kids up with a temporary childminder for a couple of weeks. At an appropriate time tell your partner that you've made a mistake and that the money situation was OK after all. As you respect them and want him/her to have their independence then tell them that you've quit your job to look after the kids.

No.7: If you are paying too much rent then next time your landlord goes out follow him/her with a camcorder. When he meets luscious Lucy at the massage parlour take a suitable amount of footage and threaten to show his/her partner the film. Negotiate a suitable reduction in your rent. Alternatively, if this doesn't work tell him/her that you've seen Pacific Heights 33 times and it's your favourite movie.

No.6: Bet £5 on the following accumulator through Honest Bob the bookies pitch at the side of the track ~ "I'm a sucker" at 10/1; He's done me again" 6/1; "Stitched is the word" 20/1 and "A fiver on me you sure?" 100/1. Make sure that you get to HB's before the close of the meet as he's usually left well before the end.

No.5: Get hold of a ticket for Liverpool's next match and make sure that you get a pitch side seat. Whip up the crowd around you into a frenzy so that they start hurling coins at one of the players. Then get into pole position to catch all the money when it gets thrown back too you.

No.4: Raid the housekeeping to bet £50 on Lennox Lewis' right ear lobe. There are good odds that this will be the first body part that Mike Tyson will try to bite off in round one of their fight.

No.3: Insure your ca
r for the year then swap it for an old banger. Don't insure the banger and drive it around for the year. That'll teach that smart alec insurance company.

No.2: Arrange a meeting with Frank the forger and rent his counterfeit kit for a few days. Copy a million Monopoly notes in your local lock-up. You won't be able to use them but will be a sod to beat at Monopoly.

No.1: Save on heating bills in winter by having candles throughout the house. When it gets really cold, light 'em.

Hang on, there's only one bloke left in the audience and he's leaving. "Oi, it wasn't that bad...was it?"

Well I hope that you found the money making/saving suggestions helpful in the first part and maybe had a laugh at my expense in the second. It's been a pleasure and amounts to a whopping 2217 words. This may be my first and last banking and finance op, who knows. Depends on the feedback I suppose. Is anyone out there?

Marandina

Summary: