JEEZUS SEZ- BRUSH YOUR TEEF (Should the Government Relax Gambling Laws?)

Member Name: mpafp

Product:	Should the Government Relax Gambling Laws?
Date:	30/08/02 (76 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Spiritual enlightenment

Disadvantages: Fugni

Jesus: Thou shalt not gamble. It is a sin, and besides, anyone with half a brain can see that the mathematical odds are so highly stacked against the gambler that he is certain to lose eventually. Gamblers are losers.

Thank you Jesus. But I think you are being a little unfair. If we cast our gambling fishing rod into the murky depths of greater spiritual significance, we may be surprised at what we find. Take my hand Jesus, here we go:

[a choir of angels sings 'Evergreen']

I will give you an example of a religious gamble where nobody loses; an example composed by one (modesty forces me to admit) greater than myself.

[astonished gasps from the women offstage: is this possible?]

The essence of your opinion (that gamblers are losers), Jesus honey, has already been ruminated upon and used to your advantage over a century ago by French mathematician Blaise Pascal. In this case, the gamble was over the existence of God.

It is impossible, Pascal argued, to 'prove' that God exists. The important question is whether we OUGHT to believe God exists. He used the mathematics of probability (hoping to appeal to his aristocratic gambling friends) to come to the conclusion that you would be foolish not to.

Pascal thought the decision of whether or not to believe in God amounted to a gamble. If you believe in God and he does exist, you will be rewarded with infinite happiness (in other words, spending eternity with the lovely Ophelia) after death. If he does not exist, all you have to lose is the finite pleasure of any immorality you might wish to indulge in (which may not be possible in earthly terms as Ophelia is married).

We cannot disprove God's existence, so the probability of him existing must be more than zero. Even if you think the chances of his existence are very low, say just 0.034%, the logical ting is to believe, seeing as any finite percentage of infinity is sti
ll infinity.

[Gasps from the women offstage. They realise the significance of this mathematical truth and go off to become nuns]

Of course, you might resist reason, but this would be letting your desires get the better of you, and desires can be controlled by behaving AS IF you are a good Christian.

On top of this (according to Pascal) once you have shed your filthy heathen habits (Shazzy, take note) you'll discover that you are happier than before.

Pascal has shown us a gamble, I challenge Jesus to show me the loser.

[Jesus twiddles his thumbs, having not been paying attention]

Jesus: Erm...yes?

[Jesus' cat, however has been carefully listening and now meeiouws to signify that he wishes to take the podium]

Yes, Jesus' Cat, go ahead.

Jesus' Cat: With such a lucid dispelling of the moral taboos of gambling from my learned friend, MPAFP, I really can't see how any government could refuse to relax their laws now. If you can, albeit rather tenuously, convert people to Christianity with gambling metephors, then that is good enough for me. And my owner's Dad.

Tony Blair: You win. Everyone, go wild. Let's have a big gambling party. With drugs.

Jesus: Yeah, man, I'm up for that.




P.S. The answer to the opinion question, in case you missed it, is 'YES'.

Goodnight Seattle
xxxx

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