Camping In The Highlands - A Townies Guide (Sports Equipment in General)

Member Name: Gaelic_Goddess

Product:	Sports Equipment in General
Date:	27/09/01 (202 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Be at one with nature

Disadvantages: hair, midgies, trousers!

Skies swept with shifting moody clouds. Sun that breaks cover to warm your back. The fissly silence of a heathery hillside. Cool damp grass between your toes early on a summer morning. Escape the hustle. Get in touch with your soul.

I paint a wonderful picture don't I? Well that's the job of this opinion isn't it? But... I'm the first to admit that I'm not really the outdoor type. For towny folk like me, camping is dodgy ground and to be honest, it's the 'idea' of camping in the Highlands that I'm really attracted to. Just re-read that first paragraph !!

When it's just you pitted against the outdoors - plus a lot of happy campers who actually enjoy that kind of thing - it's less the perfect way to get back to nature and more the perfect way to discover your own true nature. It's all about getting back to basics and when you've spent your whole life running from the car to the house or from the house to the car to get out of the rain, a week spent getting back to basics in the Highlands could cause serious stress!

So I want to show you how to deal with it. Believe me when I say, as a townie you will enjoy a camping holiday but there are a few things you should know before you go.

Myth: Anyone can go camping.
Reality: In a luxury motorhome equipped with power shower, foot spa and hair straighteners!

OK. So I have frizzy hair. It's not a crime. But it can be seriously unsettling for anyone who must share a tent with me. Twin the damp air of the Highlands with a night of tossing and turning, with nothing between me and the sod but a sleeping bag and a light layer of whisky fumes, et voila, big BIG hair.

My husband and I were on Skye, halfway between Portree and Uig on the road that follows the coast to the north of the island, when we found a perfect spot for camping - a flat shelf near a tinkling stream set back from the road. Beautiful, restful, fresh. Yes
indeedy, it was time to get back to nature alright - so exactly where do I plug in my straighteners? At least in a campsite you can have a shower and attempt to tame your hair. But out there? In the wilderness? Now you know the real reason why tourism literature advises you to bring a good hat when out and about in the Highlands! I would imagine that good boots are also necessary - if simply to disguise chipped nail polish.

Myth: It's just like Braveheart.
Reality: If Braveheart was directed by Alfred Hitchcock!

Seen "The Birds" have you? Standing on a heathery hilltop about 12 miles north of Dunoon my husband and I got off the bike we were touring on, having just discovered another place to camp. Below us was an amazing view of the silvery green Loch Fyne, streaked and zigzagged by lazy boat trails. All round the Highlands disappeared into the distance like a 360 degree technicolour backdrop stolen from the set of Brigadoon. We breathed in the clean fresh air, feeling all at one with nature - again. We talked in low voices, as if in reverence for the quiet.

And then they descended. Suddenly. From nowhere. How did they find us? Did we smell that bad? Whichever way we turned, we encountered a sneaky fog of midgies. Helmets were pulled on and visors were slammed shut. We jumped back on the bike and took off, leaving the stunning view and soul-soothing silence behind.

Well, there's always insect repellent - but that means you have to let them come right up close before they decide they don't like you - and if you're the kind of person who catches spiders at home with a little plastic box on the end of a stick, you won't be into that. Of course, you won't encounter midgies everywhere you go in the Highlands but townies beware. They know you. They can smell you. And they are out to chomp your townie hide!

Myth: It's cheaper to camp.
Reality: If you're staying in the back ga
rden!

No, to be honest, there are camp sites dotted all around the Highlands and they are very good value, but don't forget the accessories you're going to need while you're there - it all adds up, you know.

You've got to buy insect repellent for a start. Plus a good hat. Then you've got to buy those nerdy brightly coloured trousers with the baggy backside, available exclusively from outdoor specialists. You've got to buy the flip-flops to go with the fashion no-no trousers. You've got to buy the little camping stove which you will never quite master, and then you will have to buy fish and chips every night. You've got to buy Kendall Mint Cake. I don't know why. You just do. And then of course, when you get really fed up with your frizzy hair and maddening midgy bites - not to mention your baggy backside - there's the added cost of staying in a B&B.

But still I say to townies - forget your health spas. Forget your weekend retreats. Forget your flotation tanks, aromatherapy, feng shui and acupuncture. The easiest way to discover the real you is to go camping in the Highlands. You might need another holiday when you come home, but at least you can say when nature called, you came running, pink toilet roll and towel in hand.

Get out there and rediscover nature, townie! I promise you'll appreciate the change but only if you promise never to mention my fashion no-no trousers!

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